I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Especially around neighborhoods close to Catholic schools or Mormon churches. Raised Catholic and “only” 4 DC. My oldest sister has 4DC and always sent to Catholic schools. I’m in Vienna and there’s a family of 5 DC on my street. Are birth rates down for Catholics and Mormons? Anecdata tells me yes. |
Anonymous
|
15:41. To clarify, I come from a family of 4 children.
My FIL was the youngest of 8 and none of his siblings ever had more than 2 children. Non religious household. Two never had children. My father was the oldest of 7; and nearly same stats where 3 never married/no children and we were the largest family w 4DC. All else 2 and one w 3. |
Anonymous
Because of time, headaches, finances? |
Anonymous
I do if that person is talking my ear off about Climate Change. Alright Sharon, you’re so concerned for the planet what are YOU doing to help it? I notice you’re pregnant with kid #3 and just leased a new car… |
Anonymous
He comes from a society that values having many children. He missed growing up with his family - since the age of 3 or 4. How can you not see that that might instill in someone a greater than average desire to be a very active, involved parent, and to raise as many happy children as possible? "How do I make enough money to get them into the best private schools/get a big house," are not the priorities for him. Instead, "How can I provide a safe and secure home life while also being there and having fun and helping them every day? How can I be around as much as possible to change the diapers and tumble with them on their floor and chase them on the playgrounds..." He has an extra appreciation for those things because he never had them himself. |
Anonymous
| You can’t compare living in DC as feds and raising kids to living on a farm in Midwest 30 yrs ago. You aren’t birthing farmhands here. A 4th kid means a bigger city house ($$$) or stacked on top of each other in shared rooms. Bigger car; minivan parking in DC no fun. More school tuition, more saving for college...it is drain on the whole family unless you are super wealthy. |
Anonymous
Same here. As long as your kids are not visibly neglected or undisciplined terrors and you don't expect me to invite all of them over for playdates, I don't care. I might judge you for environmentally grotesque decisions (which judgment I will keep to myself), but that's independent of the number of kids you have. |
Anonymous
Yep. They'll judge you for only having one or many, for working or for staying home, etc. You have to be pretty secure in your choices. The only time I judge people is when they work so hard to justify their own choices that they end up putting down others. (i.e., you have a bunch of kids, and you talk about how lonely single children are or how parents have some obligation to "give" their kid a sibling or some other crap like that. Or you SAH, but you make comments about wanting to "raise your own children," or any other putdown of working parents. That kind of nonsense.). And then I judge them for being obnoxious people, not for the underlying life choice. |
Anonymous
| In this area you have to be extremely wealthy or just not do any extra's. We spend a lot of money on two activities plus other things for our one child and I couldn't imagine doing it for four, especially paying for college. |
Anonymous
Plus any vacation is going to $$$$. That is 6 plane tickets and 2 hotel rooms. Or an Airbnb to fit 6 people isn’t cheap either in vacation destinations. In the time and place you are references OP, where big families were more common, people also lived very differently. They almost never went to restaurants, did extracurriculars that were paid for, or took vacations other than taking a big RV to a campground maybe. Plus on a farm, more kids is more help. In DC, more kids is more expense and headache. Think about what kind of lifestyle you want to have and what opportunities you want to be able to give your other 3 kids first- if you aren’t already pregnant |
Anonymous
Yes. Obviously some people are just Uber wealthy but others just don’t care about the above. My sister is a SAHM to 4. Rec sports only and only once they turn 8 or so. Maybe, maybe one driving vacation a year. No college savings but she says they will “help them if we can” when the time comes, despite paying for parochial school now. That’s not at all how I wanted to raise my kids which is why I only had two. She definitely has some sanctimony about being such a pure and devoted mother. |
Anonymous
That sounds like more of a consequence of having only 1 income for the family than the total number of kids she has. |
Anonymous
| There are quite a few families in CCDC with 4 kids, but it is definitely unusual in NW DC. My husband works in a fairly conservative industry though and tons of his male co-workers have 4+ kids with wives who stay home and live in the further-flung suburbs of VA. As noted however, they are exclusively conservative families and most are quite religious (Mormons, Catholics, Evangelicals). I would not judge you for having 4 kids but I would probably assume you were conservative unless your actions indicated otherwise. |
Anonymous
It is bizarre to give your child a sibling. If you want multiple kids, that is what is important. My sibling and I never got along and she was always terrible to me. |
Anonymous
Modern Mormons can use birth control, so although they value big families, many stop after 3 or 4, especially outside of Utah. |