I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the Midwest and only know two families with 4 kids. It isn’t common here either. The overwhelming majority of families have 2 kids, some with 3 if there is a SAHM.

Really? I’m in the Midwest also. We have five and know several other families with five. In our school 3/4 seems to be the norm. Certainly noone bats an eye at four. We are in a 3rd ring suburb of Chicago. Don’t worry about what others think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4+ children are status symbols, white people with multiple kids are showing off their wealth (or are try hards who want people to think they have a lot of money).

We have four children and I’m boggled whenever this pov surfaces on dcum. Do you honestly believe couples are having children as a status symbol? Have you considered the possibility that because they are financially comfortable, stressors that inhibit other couples to have more children do not exist for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may be pregnant with our 4th child (I am pretty sure but need to confirm with a test in a couple days).
DH and I come from larger families: mine from the Midwest; I have 3 brothers, and on that side of my family it's the norm to have 3-4 kids (I have 18 cousins just on my dad's side!). DH has 6 or 7 siblings
, from a traditional society where families basically have as many children as possible.
Anyway, we're in NW DC... And it's kind of funny how my only reservation is sort of self-consciousness here. Like, are people going to judge us for being such a large family? We're not wealthy, just feds who live simply and love our community.
We have one set of friends in the neighborhood who have 3 kids. But our other family friends have 2 max!! I don't think I can even think of any family in my neighborhood with 4 children!

...tell me you exist? If I were in the Midwest state where my relatives are, no one would bat an eyelash at a healthy big family. But here.... What are people's reactions going to be? I shouldn't care, but I do!

Why? How is it going to change how you live your life? Are you going to get rid of one of your kids so your neighbors won’t think ill of you? You’re an adult. This isn’t high school. Who the hell cares what they think?

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like you have a bad case of Main Character Syndrome. The truth is that people are thinking about you about .000000001% as often as you think they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may be pregnant with our 4th child (I am pretty sure but need to confirm with a test in a couple days).
DH and I come from larger families: mine from the Midwest; I have 3 brothers, and on that side of my family it's the norm to have 3-4 kids (I have 18 cousins just on my dad's side!). DH has 6 or 7 siblings
, from a traditional society where families basically have as many children as possible.
Anyway, we're in NW DC... And it's kind of funny how my only reservation is sort of self-consciousness here. Like, are people going to judge us for being such a large family? We're not wealthy, just feds who live simply and love our community.
We have one set of friends in the neighborhood who have 3 kids. But our other family friends have 2 max!! I don't think I can even think of any family in my neighborhood with 4 children!

...tell me you exist? If I were in the Midwest state where my relatives are, no one would bat an eyelash at a healthy big family. But here.... What are people's reactions going to be? I shouldn't care, but I do!

Congrats. I’m jealous. Move to McLean. There are tons of huge families here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like you have a bad case of Main Character Syndrome. The truth is that people are thinking about you about .000000001% as often as you think they are.

Agree. Choose four kids if you want, and don’t look back.

[Anonymous]

I know two families with four or more (and I'm one case they were trying for a third and had twins).

[Anonymous]

One family in my social circle (not technically in the neighborhood) has 4. I think they do OK but sometimes there’s a sense that the parents just tune out instead of dealing with things. I can understand that, but one of the kids has special needs and one has behavior problems, so it seems like a struggle and needs are not always being met.

We know a few families of 3 and honestly those seem to be the most entitled “it takes a village whilst contributing nothing to the village” people. We’ve learned to spot and disengage from the moochers.

[Anonymous]

We have four! I agree, it’s pretty rare these days. Most of our friends have 2 or 3 kids, some only have 1.

No, we did not have four kids for status, and no, we do not mooch off our friends for help. We love having a big family. Sometimes we get stares, sometimes people will ask if they are all mine. Other than that, the comments I get are “you have your hands full!” And “you are so blessed”. Lots of moms ask how I do it.

You will be unusual. You will stand out. But you need not worry or care about it. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4+ children are status symbols, white people with multiple kids are showing off their wealth (or are try hards who want people to think they have a lot of money).

I assume anyone with 4+ children is Catholic, Mormon, or Hasidic. Although of course I do know exceptions to the rule, but really most folks I know with four or more kids do fall into these categories. They tend not to be wealthy at all so it's not a wealth or try-hard thing, either.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one stuck on the fact that OP doesn’t know how many siblings her husband has? 6 or 7??? You are having a 4th child with a man and you don’t know how many siblings he has? Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4+ children are status symbols, white people with multiple kids are showing off their wealth (or are try hards who want people to think they have a lot of money).

I assume anyone with 4+ children is Catholic, Mormon, or Hasidic. Although of course I do know exceptions to the rule, but really most folks I know with four or more kids do fall into these categories. They tend not to be wealthy at all so it's not a wealth or try-hard thing, either.

The wealthy ones I know who are not super religious have all of one gender. I think it’s pretty obvious what was going on there.

[Anonymous]

There are a few families around me that have 4, and several have 3.

I moved from out west where literally everyone I knew had two, maybe one, but no one I knew had more than two. I was surprised at how many here have more than 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one stuck on the fact that OP doesn’t know how many siblings her husband has? 6 or 7??? You are having a 4th child with a man and you don’t know how many siblings he has? Jesus.

Well he had to flee an agrarian family as a young boy according to OP. Which leads me to ask how did he grow up and who did he grow up with? That all sounds more interesting than whether OP is going to have 4 kids or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4+ children are status symbols, white people with multiple kids are showing off their wealth (or are try hards who want people to think they have a lot of money).

I assume anyone with 4+ children is Catholic, Mormon, or Hasidic. Although of course I do know exceptions to the rule, but really most folks I know with four or more kids do fall into these categories. They tend not to be wealthy at all so it's not a wealth or try-hard thing, either.

The ones I know were either oops babies and/or had twins. None are those religions.