I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood

[Anonymous]

I may be pregnant with our 4th child (I am pretty sure but need to confirm with a test in a couple days).
DH and I come from larger families: mine from the Midwest; I have 3 brothers, and on that side of my family it's the norm to have 3-4 kids (I have 18 cousins just on my dad's side!). DH has 6 or 7 siblings
, from a traditional society where families basically have as many children as possible.
Anyway, we're in NW DC... And it's kind of funny how my only reservation is sort of self-consciousness here. Like, are people going to judge us for being such a large family? We're not wealthy, just feds who live simply and love our community.
We have one set of friends in the neighborhood who have 3 kids. But our other family friends have 2 max!! I don't think I can even think of any family in my neighborhood with 4 children!

...tell me you exist? If I were in the Midwest state where my relatives are, no one would bat an eyelash at a healthy big family. But here.... What are people's reactions going to be? I shouldn't care, but I do!

[Anonymous]

I have one kid. I don’t care what anyone thinks. This is what works for us for many reasons. Live your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one kid. I don’t care what anyone thinks. This is what works for us for many reasons. Live your life.

+1 I have two. I used to want more but at this point I couldn’t handle more logistically, financially, or emotionally. Enjoy your kids! I might be low key jealous you have the patience for four but I won’t be judging you for it!

[Anonymous]

Our former neighbors had five. We have 3 and I will not have more because it's already chaos. But I really don't think anyone else cares what you do or how many kids you have!

[Anonymous]

There's one family on our street with 4 but most have 1 or 2. There is one with 3.

Honestly, with climate change happening the environmental impacts of more than 1-2 kids are staggering, and I do think a lot of people judge based on that, but also a lot of people just don't have the time or energy or around here start older.

Do what you want, but consider ways to cut your environmental impacts.

[Anonymous]

Everyone we know have 2. Everyone. Except one couple who had twins in their 2nd pregnancy.

People who had twins in their 1st pregnancy in our circle stopped after having them.

[Anonymous]

I’m in the Midwest and only know two families with 4 kids. It isn’t common here either. The overwhelming majority of families have 2 kids, some with 3 if there is a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have one kid. I don’t care what anyone thinks. This is what works for us for many reasons. Live your life.

+1 I have two. I used to want more but at this point I couldn’t handle more logistically, financially, or emotionally. Enjoy your kids! I might be low key jealous you have the patience for four but I won’t be judging you for it!

Haha. Thanks! It's wild. I don't know if I really have the patience, but I will say this is only possible/enjoyable by having an extremely involved husband/father of the children. Like, he works from 5AM-2:30PM every day so he can be the one to pick them up from school and take care of them. If he were even just slightly less great, I definitely wouldn't be doing this!
We may be weird, but on basically our first real date we talked/joked about having 5 kids... I think I'll put a hard stop at 4 kids biologically but we could even adopt/foster later in life.
Thanks both for making me feel a little better I think I'll feel better too when I'm able to share the news with family and be able to celebrate a little bit right now of course it's just DH and I and I've been thinking about it a lot - it helps to get it out in writing like this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the Midwest and only know two families with 4 kids. It isn’t common here either. The overwhelming majority of families have 2 kids, some with 3 if there is a SAHM.

OP here.
It may be something that kind of runs in families, and farming families especially. Like, people grow up in big families and are more likely to do the same. My dad is one of 5 kids who grew up ranching/farming; and each of them had at least 3 kids... Hence I have 18 cousins on that side, and each cousin has at least 3 kids... Multiple twins in the family too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's one family on our street with 4 but most have 1 or 2. There is one with 3.

Honestly, with climate change happening the environmental impacts of more than 1-2 kids are staggering, and I do think a lot of people judge based on that, but also a lot of people just don't have the time or energy or around here start older.

Do what you want, but consider ways to cut your environmental impacts.

Mmm no. Just you, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's one family on our street with 4 but most have 1 or 2. There is one with 3.

Honestly, with climate change happening the environmental impacts of more than 1-2 kids are staggering, and I do think a lot of people judge based on that, but also a lot of people just don't have the time or energy or around here start older.

Do what you want, but consider ways to cut your environmental impacts.

OP here. I agree. I will be even more conscientious about our environmental impact. Although, I know that if I compared us to the norm in our neighborhood we are much more careful about our environmental impact: walk/bus/bike to school/work; have an 11-year old car we bought used and plan to never replace as long as it runs; continue to use cheap phones and replace maybe every 3-5 years; 90% of our kids' toys and clothes are secondhand.. But I think this is the one area I want to work on even more. Buying more fresh produce, less plastic, for example.

[Anonymous]

We have five kids. If anyone had an issue with it, I wasn’t aware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's one family on our street with 4 but most have 1 or 2. There is one with 3.

Honestly, with climate change happening the environmental impacts of more than 1-2 kids are staggering, and I do think a lot of people judge based on that, but also a lot of people just don't have the time or energy or around here start older.

Do what you want, but consider ways to cut your environmental impacts.

Mmm no. Just you, really.

OP here. Um... I am sure plenty of people do. Like, I judge someone driving a gas guzzler a few blocks instead of walking. I even judge myself like that; "Why am I driving our car when I should be taking the bus? I need to practice what I preach!" I do that allthe time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have five kids. If anyone had an issue with it, I wasn’t aware.

[Anonymous]

You find us in the suburbs Op. We get more bang for our buck, great schools, and overall more affordable to raise a "large" family.
-Family of 6 in Burke