Is alimony ever awarded to men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask Britney Spears, Kelly Clarkson, Halle Berry and Mary J Blige.

https://www.washingtonian.com/2021/12/03/more-and-more-women-are-paying-alimony-to-failure-to-launch-ex-husbands-and-theyre-really-really-not-happy-about-it/

They are not MD residents. California has a special situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can OP move to Virginia then divorce?

Sure. But you have to be a resident of the state for six months. However I think op in her spouse would both have to move to Virginia to make this work

All the husband has to do is file in his state of residence. Judges frown on married partners trying to file in states they obviously ran to to pay less support to their spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to government data, men pay 99 percent of all alimony dollars paid in the US.

I’m willing to bet that data is at least 10-15 years old and includes a lot of marriages that ended 20 years before that.

I think if you looked at alimony awarded in 2022, a much higher percentage would be paid by women.

Two reasons the proportion is remaining lopsided:
1. Men feel ashamed to ask for alimony.
2. Women push back very strongly when a man asks for alimony, even if she makes a lot more than him - in effect women shame men out of asking for it.

Pfft no way. Both parties in divorces tend to become jerks and if a guy can hurt his ex financially with alimony, most wouldn't let their concepts of manhood stop them.

It’s in this story.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/emmajohnson/2014/11/20/why-do-so-few-men-get-alimony/?sh=2000fdc054b9

Of the 400,000 people in the United States receiving post-divorce spousal maintenance, just 3 percent were men, according to Census figures. Yet 40 percent of households are headed by female breadwinners -- suggesting that hundreds of thousands of men are eligible for alimony, yet don't receive it.

The reason? Die-hard gender roles, a bitter fight from breadwinning wives and macho pride, say family attorneys. And in some parts of the country, judges are flat-out sexist.

"Gender equality is a relatively new concept in the span of history, and old stereotypes die hard," says San Francisco Bay area divorce attorney Mark Ressa. "A successful man is considered a breadwinning man, and asking for alimony is considered emasculating."

This is a typical attitude held by men of all generations, say Ressa and Lee Rosen, a Raleigh, N.C. based divorce lawyer and author of Divorcing Smartly: The End of a Marriage Isn't the End of the World. Both lawyers report that very few men walk into their offices with the intent of asking for alimony, even when their situations are clearly eligible for spousal support. Meanwhile, female breadwinners never pay alimony without a contentious battle. "Every guy in that situation has to go through a fight, while (breadwinning) guys go into the divorce accepting they have to pay," says Rosen. Then, facing humiliation, stress and expense of that fight, they are further disincentivized from pursuing spousal support. "Men are essentially shamed into not receiving alimony," Ressa says.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to government data, men pay 99 percent of all alimony dollars paid in the US.

I’m willing to bet that data is at least 10-15 years old and includes a lot of marriages that ended 20 years before that.

I think if you looked at alimony awarded in 2022, a much higher percentage would be paid by women.

Two reasons the proportion is remaining lopsided:
1. Men feel ashamed to ask for alimony.
2. Women push back very strongly when a man asks for alimony, even if she makes a lot more than him - in effect women shame men out of asking for it.

Pfft no way. Both parties in divorces tend to become jerks and if a guy can hurt his ex financially with alimony, most wouldn't let their concepts of manhood stop them.

It’s in this story.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/emmajohnson/2014/11/20/why-do-so-few-men-get-alimony/?sh=2000fdc054b9

Of the 400,000 people in the United States receiving post-divorce spousal maintenance, just 3 percent were men, according to Census figures. Yet 40 percent of households are headed by female breadwinners -- suggesting that hundreds of thousands of men are eligible for alimony, yet don't receive it.

The reason? Die-hard gender roles, a bitter fight from breadwinning wives and macho pride, say family attorneys. And in some parts of the country, judges are flat-out sexist.

"Gender equality is a relatively new concept in the span of history, and old stereotypes die hard," says San Francisco Bay area divorce attorney Mark Ressa. "A successful man is considered a breadwinning man, and asking for alimony is considered emasculating."

This is a typical attitude held by men of all generations, say Ressa and Lee Rosen, a Raleigh, N.C. based divorce lawyer and author of Divorcing Smartly: The End of a Marriage Isn't the End of the World. Both lawyers report that very few men walk into their offices with the intent of asking for alimony, even when their situations are clearly eligible for spousal support. Meanwhile, female breadwinners never pay alimony without a contentious battle. "Every guy in that situation has to go through a fight, while (breadwinning) guys go into the divorce accepting they have to pay," says Rosen. Then, facing humiliation, stress and expense of that fight, they are further disincentivized from pursuing spousal support. "Men are essentially shamed into not receiving alimony," Ressa says.

Men clearly get screwed in divorce based on the US system—overvaluing being a housewife, giving child custody and most child support to the “primary caretaker”( even if that person did 51% of the childcare). Wealthy men need to protect themselves financially Before they get married. Wealthy women, less so.

[Anonymous]

Hire a private investigator and get proof of the affair. I do not know about Maryland, but in my state a spouse cannot receive alimony if they cheated. It also may be a matter of discretion with the judge. Even though divorce is no fault, there are certain factors that come into play. Is your company 100% owned by you? If so, your spouse may not be entitled to anything if you have never treated it as “marital property” or gifted him an interest in it. Anything that you own jointly or you may have converted to marital property , he most likely is entitled to 50%. Do not let on to anyone you are considering divorce. Set up consultations with best divorce attorneys in your area and ask them specific questions about your concerns. He cannot hire anyone you consulted and disclosed private info to under ethics rules. You may also find out that he has already consulted attorneys- I had a friend find out the hard way their spouse had consulted the best attorneys in their area so they had to find one somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I earn essentially all the income of our family as a woman—business owner. I just found out my husband of 20 years is having an affair. I do a majority of the childcare—along with paid help—my husband does very little. The only friend that I have confided in about the affair said I will lose about 1/2 the assets and likely pay long term alimony. My income is just over 1 million a year, DH is around 85k.
Do the laws actually require me to pay him money when he cheated?

If you go no fault, yes. Some states like Virginia still allow at-fault divorce and if you can prove the adultery he could get no alimony. He still gets half the assets though.

[Anonymous]

https://www.modernfamilylawfirm.com/proving-adultery-in-a-maryland-divorce/

[Anonymous]

You need to be strategic here. First, as you are still currently married, you are under no obligation to give him a penny. You can’t change the locks but you are not required to give him access to your bank accounts at this time. You need to speak to several lawyers who specialize in this area of law.

If you can drag this out until the children are 18 you will likely pay him nothing, and you can make his at-home standard of living pretty poor in the meantime.

[Anonymous]

Get him drunk and have him sign a post nup.

[Anonymous]

You should have structured your company so the money is part of the company not personal.

Get a lawyer asap.

My SIL was the one to receive the money but her H pretended to do counseling while he got all his money protected.

You be will pay alimony until he gets married.

[Anonymous]

Assets purchased will be split 50/50, but the valuation of your business should be your biggest concern - how that will be split.

[Anonymous]

Valerie Bertinelli had a prenuptial , but it is being challenged by her ex Tom Vitale.
And I wonder if both her marriage and the potential for her prenuptial crashing is because she was so public and over-the-top with her love declaration for ex Eddie Van Halen during his passing and droning on and on and on.
Humiliation of Tom Vitale (and Eddies current wife) may have been a game changer in her divorce proceedings.
I hope Tom Vitale is awarded some compensation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Valerie Bertinelli had a prenuptial , but it is being challenged by her ex Tom Vitale.
And I wonder if both her marriage and the potential for her prenuptial crashing is because she was so public and over-the-top with her love declaration for ex Eddie Van Halen during his passing and droning on and on and on.
Humiliation of Tom Vitale (and Eddies current wife) may have been a game changer in her divorce proceedings.
I hope Tom Vitale is awarded some compensation.

wtf?

(although I knew this whole story. It's still a wtf post here)

[Anonymous]

WTF yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can OP move to Virginia then divorce?

Sure. But you have to be a resident of the state for six months. However I think op in her spouse would both have to move to Virginia to make this work

All the husband has to do is file in his state of residence. Judges frown on married partners trying to file in states they obviously ran to to pay less support to their spouse.

You don't get it. They can both move and she can start the process at 6 months. It does not matter. Also, he could try and file or not move. Point is, if they both move, it does not matter.
Also, most people don't see a courtroom. Most divorces (95%) are handled completely through paperwork.