Is alimony ever awarded to men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I live in Maryland. And almost all the assets have come from the proceeds of my business.

Which is completely irrelevant. The marital estate is divided 50/50 regardless of who contributed what to it.

Yep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. A few of my female friends have had to pay their husbands alimony. Why would you be exempt?

+1

Equal rights and all. Goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go see a good and aggressive lawyer quietly. You need to plan your exit strategically. Pretend to not care about the affair if you must while you plan. You will pay some alimony, the question is how much. Be logical and organized.

Op said her company makes the money. If that's the case, then ex DH will be getting half the shares and won't need alimony

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. A few of my female friends have had to pay their husbands alimony. Why would you be exempt?

+1

Equal rights and all. Goes both ways.

This. A friend had to pay her husband's maintenance during the divorce proceedings. He was chronically underemployed, which was the reason for the divorce in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever stay at home with the kids so you could focus on your career? I still think it's likely he will get some but alimony is being awarded less and less these days. Often it's just to help somebody get back on their feet, so only for a year or two. Since he is getting so many assets and he doesn't seem to really need to "get back on his feet," I can't imagine a judge would award a ton of alimony.

To the contrary.

https://mgaleg.maryland.gov/mgawebsite/Laws/StatuteText?article=gfl§ion=11-106

The court may award alimony for an indefinite period, if the court finds that:

(2) even after the party seeking alimony will have made as much progress toward becoming self-supporting as can reasonably be expected, the respective standards of living of the parties will be unconscionably disparate.

In this case, the standards of living will be unconscionably disparate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever stay at home with the kids so you could focus on your career? I still think it's likely he will get some but alimony is being awarded less and less these days. Often it's just to help somebody get back on their feet, so only for a year or two. Since he is getting so many assets and he doesn't seem to really need to "get back on his feet," I can't imagine a judge would award a ton of alimony.

To the contrary.

https://mgaleg.maryland.gov/mgawebsite/Laws/StatuteText?article=gfl§ion=11-106

The court may award alimony for an indefinite period, if the court finds that:

(2) even after the party seeking alimony will have made as much progress toward becoming self-supporting as can reasonably be expected, the respective standards of living of the parties will be unconscionably disparate.

In this case, the standards of living will be unconscionably disparate.

Do you happen to know the case law on how "unconscionably" is interpreted? I thought it was more about one party living the high life while the other one had to get a minimum wage job.

Of course I do think that OP's husband will get some alimony, but the disparate standard of living is just one of many factors and goes more toward how long alimony lasts rather than how much is awarded. If you look at the fact that OPs husband will be able to support himself, the fact that he will have a lot of assets, his affair, and, I am assuming, that he did not stay home with kids to contribute to the family, I don't think a lot of alimony is a slam dunk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go see a good and aggressive lawyer quietly. You need to plan your exit strategically. Pretend to not care about the affair if you must while you plan. You will pay some alimony, the question is how much. Be logical and organized.

Op said her company makes the money. If that's the case, then ex DH will be getting half the shares and won't need alimony

Maybe but she still needs to see a good and aggressive lawyer. For one thing, figuring out what “half the company” even means will be complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever stay at home with the kids so you could focus on your career? I still think it's likely he will get some but alimony is being awarded less and less these days. Often it's just to help somebody get back on their feet, so only for a year or two. Since he is getting so many assets and he doesn't seem to really need to "get back on his feet," I can't imagine a judge would award a ton of alimony.

To the contrary.

https://mgaleg.maryland.gov/mgawebsite/Laws/StatuteText?article=gfl§ion=11-106

The court may award alimony for an indefinite period, if the court finds that:

(2) even after the party seeking alimony will have made as much progress toward becoming self-supporting as can reasonably be expected, the respective standards of living of the parties will be unconscionably disparate.

In this case, the standards of living will be unconscionably disparate.

Do you happen to know the case law on how "unconscionably" is interpreted? I thought it was more about one party living the high life while the other one had to get a minimum wage job.

Of course I do think that OP's husband will get some alimony, but the disparate standard of living is just one of many factors and goes more toward how long alimony lasts rather than how much is awarded. If you look at the fact that OPs husband will be able to support himself, the fact that he will have a lot of assets, his affair, and, I am assuming, that he did not stay home with kids to contribute to the family, I don't think a lot of alimony is a slam dunk.

If it is true that OP makes $1 mill a year and her DH $85k that seems like a slam dunk case of "unconscionably disparate" to me.

[Anonymous]

What OP needs to do:

Pretend she does not know about the affair. Do not talk to anyone.

Go visit two to three well-regarded family lawyers. Go through the intake process, but be up front that she is evaluating options and don’t pay a large retainer until she settles on one.

Strategically plan divorce. This will likely mean planning out a desired means of handling the business.

Do not discuss divorce with DH until she is ready to file.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my DH got alimony. His exwife, a dr, constructively abandoned the family and then also had an affair. DH was bartending and writing a book while taking care of the kids. He divorced her and got alimony for five years.

[Anonymous]

According to government data, men pay 99 percent of all alimony dollars paid in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. A few of my female friends have had to pay their husbands alimony. Why would you be exempt?

+1

Equal rights and all. Goes both ways.

This. A friend had to pay her husband's maintenance during the divorce proceedings. He was chronically underemployed, which was the reason for the divorce in the first place.

Why do women marry losers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:According to government data, men pay 99 percent of all alimony dollars paid in the US.

I’m willing to bet that data is at least 10-15 years old and includes a lot of marriages that ended 20 years before that.

I think if you looked at alimony awarded in 2022, a much higher percentage would be paid by women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. A few of my female friends have had to pay their husbands alimony. Why would you be exempt?

+1

Equal rights and all. Goes both ways.

This. A friend had to pay her husband's maintenance during the divorce proceedings. He was chronically underemployed, which was the reason for the divorce in the first place.

Why do women marry losers?

I don’t know. Looks like the bartender/wannabe author upthread got two women to marry him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. A few of my female friends have had to pay their husbands alimony. Why would you be exempt?

+1

Equal rights and all. Goes both ways.

This. A friend had to pay her husband's maintenance during the divorce proceedings. He was chronically underemployed, which was the reason for the divorce in the first place.

Why do women marry losers?

Even meth-dealing Nazi outlaw bikers deserve a loving marriage!