My abortion story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's my abortion story. I grew up in a very loving, close family. That was Christian. Abstinence only, no sex before marriage, pro-life, etc. When I was 14 I got asked out by a boy I'd known since I was 11, who was very sweet. Also came from a very loving, close Christian family. A month after I turned 15, we had sex. Twice. I then got pregnant. My parents left my brother and I home while they went to refinance their mortgage or something, one Saturday morning, and then do errands and have lunch before coming home. I got an abortion that morning. I used money I got from babysitting for families we knew through church. When my parents came home I was in bed, told them I didn't feel well and needed to sleep. Went to school that Monday.

This is so tough, but probably more common than people realize. My husband grew up in a very conservative Christian household in a conservative country. Once he moved to the US he was really rocked by the fact that he never received any sex education at all in school or from his parents and therefore had unprotected sex many times with a girlfriend when he was 15. He was shaken by how different his life would be if she had gotten pregnant and how lucky he was that she didn’t.

[Anonymous]

Approximately 18% of all pregnancies in the United States end in induced abortion. That percentage is far higher among POC, far lower among mothers with other children. Despite the cases which detail some very scary maternal health issues, only 9-10% of induced abortions are related to the health of the mother or child, or resulted from rape/incest.

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/ss/ss7009a1.htm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Approximately 18% of all pregnancies in the United States end in induced abortion. That percentage is far higher among POC, far lower among mothers with other children. Despite the cases which detail some very scary maternal health issues, only 9-10% of induced abortions are related to the health of the mother or child, or resulted from rape/incest.

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/ss/ss7009a1.htm

I think the difference between us is that I don’t see a role for the word “despite” in that sentence. If 9-10% of abortions are for these reasons, I see that as the reason why abortion has to be legal. 9-10% of 18% of pregnancies in a year is a LOT of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Approximately 18% of all pregnancies in the United States end in induced abortion. That percentage is far higher among POC, far lower among mothers with other children. Despite the cases which detail some very scary maternal health issues, only 9-10% of induced abortions are related to the health of the mother or child, or resulted from rape/incest.

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/ss/ss7009a1.htm

Well hey now, oral contraception involves inducing a person to abort a fertilized egg by not allowing it to attach to the uterine wall - ie after conception. We should include those in the stats. And make oral contraception illegal as it's a form of abortion too.

If youre pro life, you need to throw out your contraception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Approximately 18% of all pregnancies in the United States end in induced abortion. That percentage is far higher among POC, far lower among mothers with other children. Despite the cases which detail some very scary maternal health issues, only 9-10% of induced abortions are related to the health of the mother or child, or resulted from rape/incest.

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/ss/ss7009a1.htm

I don't see where that link provides information as to why women are getting an abortion. But it does say that over 50% are medical abortions, completed before 9 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for sharing your story, OP. And I'm sorry for your loss.


But here's my abortion story: I've never needed one. And it doesn't matter if you wanted the baby or if you were raped or if it saved your life or whatever. It doesn't matter if your BC failed or if you're a "slut" or whatever, abortion is healthcare and it's a human right for women to have control over if or when they have a baby.

Let's get to work...

I for one think abortion is a hard, hard issue. It’s simply not as easy or simple an issue as the hard-core right, or hard-core left, would make it sound. But I have come to believe that the politics around this issue have everything to do with a bunch of (generally speaking) old white people trying to tell women how to have sex. You were raped! Okay, we give you permission. You sleep around? We forbid it. This issue is hard and no one, no one should have the power to make that decision for someone else.

Abortion is a hard issue. I have never had one, but I simply do not understand what kind of egotistical person thinks it's their position to tell any woman what to do with this very big, life-altering thing. How on earth can someone be so self righteous to force a person to be a mother? Are they so unbelievably privileged that they cannot comprehend the ramifications of this?

Emotional, mental, physical, FINANCIAL... what massively entitled simpleton thinks of abortion as "convenience?" It boggles my mind. Truly.

Thank you OP and others for sharing their stories.

[Anonymous]

Thank you OP and PPs for sharing your stories. So many people don't seem to understand that abortion care can be lifesaving medical care. This sports reporter posted he and his wife's story on twitter and so many of the comments were "but that's not abortion"...uh, yes, it is.

[Anonymous]

I hate that this thread was taken over by the anti-abortion nuts.

It's important, IMO, for women to share their stories. My own mother, who is very conservative, was very anti-abortion until she was with me when I was faced with the reality of my life versus the life of the fetus.

#1 - I was 27 & the baby was very much wanted. We'd been married 3 years and TTC for about 18 months. I started spotting & then it quickly turned to heavy bleeding. Rushed to my OB who confirmed what I knew, I was miscarrying. I was only 9 weeks so the OB wasn't worried about me continuing at home on my own, so I was discharged. I had to get rushed back to the ER later in severe pain and got a D&C.

#2 - I was just shy of turning 29 the next time. I made it to 18 weeks that time. No heartbeat was detected during my scan. a D&C was done.

After #2, I found a specialist who diagnosed me with what several other OBs had missed: bicornuate uterus. Mine isn't as "split" or well-defined as a traditional bicornuate uterus, mine is more of a heart shape of sorts but there is separation.

I had one more miscarriage with D&C at age 32 and then my husband got a vasectomy. I couldn't go through it anymore.

D&C's are terrible and painful. No one is using abortions as a means of birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's my abortion story. I grew up in a very loving, close family. That was Christian. Abstinence only, no sex before marriage, pro-life, etc. When I was 14 I got asked out by a boy I'd known since I was 11, who was very sweet. Also came from a very loving, close Christian family. A month after I turned 15, we had sex. Twice. I then got pregnant. My parents left my brother and I home while they went to refinance their mortgage or something, one Saturday morning, and then do errands and have lunch before coming home. I got an abortion that morning. I used money I got from babysitting for families we knew through church. When my parents came home I was in bed, told them I didn't feel well and needed to sleep. Went to school that Monday.

This is so tough, but probably more common than people realize. My husband grew up in a very conservative Christian household in a conservative country. Once he moved to the US he was really rocked by the fact that he never received any sex education at all in school or from his parents and therefore had unprotected sex many times with a girlfriend when he was 15. He was shaken by how different his life would be if she had gotten pregnant and how lucky he was that she didn’t.

I grew up conservative Christian and marched in right to life marches as a teenager and won debates in the prolife position. First time I had sex I didn’t use protection and remember clearly the moment I realized I was pro-choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please support organizations who are helping women get out of abortion ban states to get the care they need. This document is very useful and practical https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRqbxh96ynlqdYUInUZB5GWrE2GIcW3FEXdtxO_n2BXMAd2HOkNssn3aP77zSXBN43TIJ3Xab2ih9vE/pub

This document needs to be improved in a practical way. The font is soooo light and small it is difficult to read. Do people not proofread their own documents? I would like to research some of those places before I donate, as well. The doc is so crappily put together it looks suspect.

Oh -- and it uses that ridiculous term -- as a PP pointed out -- "pregnant person." If I send this document to half the women I am thinking of, they will snort and move on.

Lesson: don't put crappy material on the internet , especially if you are trying to raise money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please support organizations who are helping women get out of abortion ban states to get the care they need. This document is very useful and practical https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRqbxh96ynlqdYUInUZB5GWrE2GIcW3FEXdtxO_n2BXMAd2HOkNssn3aP77zSXBN43TIJ3Xab2ih9vE/pub

This document needs to be improved in a practical way. The font is soooo light and small it is difficult to read. Do people not proofread their own documents? I would like to research some of those places before I donate, as well. The doc is so crappily put together it looks suspect.

Oh -- and it uses that ridiculous term -- as a PP pointed out -- "pregnant person." If I send this document to half the women I am thinking of, they will snort and move on.

Lesson: don't put crappy material on the internet , especially if you are trying to raise money.

“I won’t help protect your rights unless it’s on my terms” is a great start to the revolution, let me tell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Approximately 18% of all pregnancies in the United States end in induced abortion. That percentage is far higher among POC, far lower among mothers with other children. Despite the cases which detail some very scary maternal health issues, only 9-10% of induced abortions are related to the health of the mother or child, or resulted from rape/incest.

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/ss/ss7009a1.htm

“only” 9-10%? That’s actually a really big number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Approximately 18% of all pregnancies in the United States end in induced abortion. That percentage is far higher among POC, far lower among mothers with other children. Despite the cases which detail some very scary maternal health issues, only 9-10% of induced abortions are related to the health of the mother or child, or resulted from rape/incest.

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/ss/ss7009a1.htm

“only” 9-10%? That’s actually a really big number.

+1 That’s bigger than I expected it to be.

[Anonymous]

Thanks to all who shared their stories. I don't think that can be easy. Thanks, OP.

I am pro-life.

I do not have strong feelings about the Supreme Court decision other than that it seems, from a legal perspective, reasonable.

I know a good number of people (including myself and one sibling and an adopted niece) who would not be here if our mom had not chosen life. Our mom couldn't really afford us. Her relationship choices were not good. Our grandparents urged her to abort because they believed her struggles as a single mom raising mixed race kids would be too great.

I want to join forces with the pro-choice side because I live in the real world; I hear and reflect on the stories like yours OP and others. But can we find a way to do it in a way (and I think, OP, you did) that allows choice while not elevating abortion as THE choice. I don't speak for any kind of movement, but I do know that 20% of people who go to pregnancy crisis centers (the kind many abortion advocates hate) go on to choose abortion anyway.

I know many people here perhaps hate people like me, think I'm stupid and ignorant, think it's not worth even talking to someone like me. But I just wanted to offer my appreciation of your generosity in sharing difficulty stories and offer my own perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to all who shared their stories. I don't think that can be easy. Thanks, OP.

I am pro-life.

I do not have strong feelings about the Supreme Court decision other than that it seems, from a legal perspective, reasonable.

I know a good number of people (including myself and one sibling and an adopted niece) who would not be here if our mom had not chosen life. Our mom couldn't really afford us. Her relationship choices were not good. Our grandparents urged her to abort because they believed her struggles as a single mom raising mixed race kids would be too great.

I want to join forces with the pro-choice side because I live in the real world; I hear and reflect on the stories like yours OP and others. But can we find a way to do it in a way (and I think, OP, you did) that allows choice while not elevating abortion as THE choice. I don't speak for any kind of movement, but I do know that 20% of people who go to pregnancy crisis centers (the kind many abortion advocates hate) go on to choose abortion anyway.

I know many people here perhaps hate people like me, think I'm stupid and ignorant, think it's not worth even talking to someone like me. But I just wanted to offer my appreciation of your generosity in sharing difficulty stories and offer my own perspective.

Why do you say that it's THE choice? Most pregnancies aren't terminated. In 2020 there were nearly 4x as many births as abortions, which isn't even including natural pregnancy losses.

(I also think that calling yourself "pro life" doesn't make sense if you want there to be a choice. I think abortion is, probably, morally wrong in many cases, but I'm not pro-life, because I don't think the law should make that moral choice for people. My belief there only impacts my personal behavior, not my political position)