My abortion story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very sorry for your loss, but it sounds like the abortion almost killed you. How was it your old choice? Why couldn’t you have waited to see if your body naturally miscarried?

Perhaps the OP's doctors know better than you, an internet stranger, whether her deteriorating placenta was a threat to her health? How dangerous her condition may have been? And that is a choice best left between that medical team and this woman and not you or me?

[Anonymous]

My story is that I did not terminate a pregnancy but I had severe pre-eclampsia - I was lucky enough to have good insurance and was closely monitored for about 10 days until the second I reached 32 weeks and then my child was delivered via c-section and spent a month in the NICU. It was a very scary experience.

A close friend of mine was supposed to have a baby at the same time mine was due. She found out at the 20 week ultrasound that her baby had a severe birth defect. She already had a child with a less severe form of that birth defect and they chose to terminate because they knew they could not do it again/subject the child to the issues he would face/were worried about the effects on their two children. Apparently part of her placenta (or something) was left in her uterus and she did go into sepsis and had to be admitted to the hospital. Also a very scary situation.

[Anonymous]

I’m glad you got the procedure but what of the abortions at 24 weeks that are done simply because the mother decides to choose to kill the fetus? I have a hard time with thinking that is right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you got the procedure but what of the abortions at 24 weeks that are done simply because the mother decides to choose to kill the fetus? I have a hard time with thinking that is right.

Okay, how many? The answer is, this is very rare. In reality such a late term abortion is hard to get (far fewer doctors perform them) far more expensive (more like 5 figures vs $500 for an early term abortion), and already illegal in many states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for sharing your story, OP. And I'm sorry for your loss.


But here's my abortion story: I've never needed one. And it doesn't matter if you wanted the baby or if you were raped or if it saved your life or whatever. It doesn't matter if your BC failed or if you're a "slut" or whatever, abortion is healthcare and it's a human right for women to have control over if or when they have a baby.

Let's get to work...

I for one think abortion is a hard, hard issue. It’s simply not as easy or simple an issue as the hard-core right, or hard-core left, would make it sound. But I have come to believe that the politics around this issue have everything to do with a bunch of (generally speaking) old white people trying to tell women how to have sex. You were raped! Okay, we give you permission. You sleep around? We forbid it. This issue is hard and no one, no one should have the power to make that decision for someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you got the procedure but what of the abortions at 24 weeks that are done simply because the mother decides to choose to kill the fetus? I have a hard time with thinking that is right.

Why?

If it is just about the fetus being a human being who needs protection, what difference does it make? Rape, incest, lack of funds for an earlier abortion, the health of the mother, being unsure until 24 weeks…why does it matter? Does the value of a fetus depend on *how* it came into existence?

When people say that a woman shouldn’t be able to get an abortion because she made mistakes or didn’t do things soon enough, it sounds to me like people are just using pregnancy and childbirth to punish someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

I mean I’m not a doctor but all my doctors told me I would be at higher risk of placental abruption if I waited. So maybe it hastened the inevitable but at least I was already in the OR when it happened.

What it hastened, by probabaly only a few hours, was delivery. In fact, my 20-week twins were born because of placental abruption and when that happens, so does spontaneous abortion--at 20 weeks, that means delivery of babies, non-viable babies. Trust me, I held mine. They are not a sack of cells as some people like to believe. I love that OP gets all kinds of sympathy for her choice to end the pregnancy, but mine ended without a choice and all I get is argument. I asked a thoughtful question, shared my opinion--which includes believing strongly in OP's and everyone else's right to abort their pregnancies--for any reason--but it's not good enough. Evidently, you're either with them on celebrating abortion or you're against them. Got it.

I’m not sure what your objection is. You are not OP’s doctor - OP’s doctor assessed that it was unsafe to continue the pregnancy. *that is what medical choice means.* that the doctor and patient decide. the fact that you delivered at 20 weeks after an abruption has nothing at all to do with OP’s situation.

You're not reading OP's posts very closely. If you had been, you would see what I know: the abortion was worse for her than had she waited. But fine, she made a choice. She was asked questions, changed her story. My familiarity with complications extends beyond my own loss and OP either misunderstood her situation or is changing her story to make this post work. According to the facts of her original story--before she started changing it, and even to an extend afterward--abortion did not save her life.

I am sorry for your loss, but you seem really invested in attacking the OP, who also lost a baby. Maybe you should bow out.

Actually, initially, I asked OP about some clarification, after expressing sympathy. The whole entire subject of this thread is "abortion saved my life." Once I asked, with great sympathy, whether in fact the abortion saved her life, or risked it (which the OP pretty much explains), I was attached by her and many other posters. If she is going to make a specious claim, with no medical evidence, she should anticipate some questions. Not invested in attaching anybody, but OP sounds like a selfish jerk at this point, honestly. She hasn't shown an ounce of sympathy for anybody on this thread, except the one other poster who chose abortion for medical reasons. I wonder what OP's opinion on those who choose it for lifestyle reasons is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

I mean I’m not a doctor but all my doctors told me I would be at higher risk of placental abruption if I waited. So maybe it hastened the inevitable but at least I was already in the OR when it happened.

What it hastened, by probabaly only a few hours, was delivery. In fact, my 20-week twins were born because of placental abruption and when that happens, so does spontaneous abortion--at 20 weeks, that means delivery of babies, non-viable babies. Trust me, I held mine. They are not a sack of cells as some people like to believe. I love that OP gets all kinds of sympathy for her choice to end the pregnancy, but mine ended without a choice and all I get is argument. I asked a thoughtful question, shared my opinion--which includes believing strongly in OP's and everyone else's right to abort their pregnancies--for any reason--but it's not good enough. Evidently, you're either with them on celebrating abortion or you're against them. Got it.

I’m not sure what your objection is. You are not OP’s doctor - OP’s doctor assessed that it was unsafe to continue the pregnancy. *that is what medical choice means.* that the doctor and patient decide. the fact that you delivered at 20 weeks after an abruption has nothing at all to do with OP’s situation.

You're not reading OP's posts very closely. If you had been, you would see what I know: the abortion was worse for her than had she waited. But fine, she made a choice. She was asked questions, changed her story. My familiarity with complications extends beyond my own loss and OP either misunderstood her situation or is changing her story to make this post work. According to the facts of her original story--before she started changing it, and even to an extend afterward--abortion did not save her life.

I am sorry for your loss, but you seem really invested in attacking the OP, who also lost a baby. Maybe you should bow out.

Actually, initially, I asked OP about some clarification, after expressing sympathy. The whole entire subject of this thread is "abortion saved my life." Once I asked, with great sympathy, whether in fact the abortion saved her life, or risked it (which the OP pretty much explains), I was attached by her and many other posters. If she is going to make a specious claim, with no medical evidence, she should anticipate some questions. Not invested in attaching anybody, but OP sounds like a selfish jerk at this point, honestly. She hasn't shown an ounce of sympathy for anybody on this thread, except the one other poster who chose abortion for medical reasons. I wonder what OP's opinion on those who choose it for lifestyle reasons is.

DP. You’re sounding more like a jerk and not less. Can you stop yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for sharing your story, OP. And I'm sorry for your loss.


But here's my abortion story: I've never needed one. And it doesn't matter if you wanted the baby or if you were raped or if it saved your life or whatever. It doesn't matter if your BC failed or if you're a "slut" or whatever, abortion is healthcare and it's a human right for women to have control over if or when they have a baby.

Let's get to work...

I for one think abortion is a hard, hard issue. It’s simply not as easy or simple an issue as the hard-core right, or hard-core left, would make it sound. But I have come to believe that the politics around this issue have everything to do with a bunch of (generally speaking) old white people trying to tell women how to have sex. You were raped! Okay, we give you permission. You sleep around? We forbid it. This issue is hard and no one, no one should have the power to make that decision for someone else.

Absolutely. This is about imposing religious/moral views about sex and gender and relationships on others. These cultural fascists cannot easily control whether a woman has sex or whether she gets married or how many kids she has or if she goes to church or if she is a SAHM. What they CAN control is whether she can access an abortion. Abortion is a proxy for everything else they want to impose on us: women who get married young and have multiple kids and stay home and go to church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

I mean I’m not a doctor but all my doctors told me I would be at higher risk of placental abruption if I waited. So maybe it hastened the inevitable but at least I was already in the OR when it happened.

What it hastened, by probabaly only a few hours, was delivery. In fact, my 20-week twins were born because of placental abruption and when that happens, so does spontaneous abortion--at 20 weeks, that means delivery of babies, non-viable babies. Trust me, I held mine. They are not a sack of cells as some people like to believe. I love that OP gets all kinds of sympathy for her choice to end the pregnancy, but mine ended without a choice and all I get is argument. I asked a thoughtful question, shared my opinion--which includes believing strongly in OP's and everyone else's right to abort their pregnancies--for any reason--but it's not good enough. Evidently, you're either with them on celebrating abortion or you're against them. Got it.

I’m not sure what your objection is. You are not OP’s doctor - OP’s doctor assessed that it was unsafe to continue the pregnancy. *that is what medical choice means.* that the doctor and patient decide. the fact that you delivered at 20 weeks after an abruption has nothing at all to do with OP’s situation.

You're not reading OP's posts very closely. If you had been, you would see what I know: the abortion was worse for her than had she waited. But fine, she made a choice. She was asked questions, changed her story. My familiarity with complications extends beyond my own loss and OP either misunderstood her situation or is changing her story to make this post work. According to the facts of her original story--before she started changing it, and even to an extend afterward--abortion did not save her life.

I am sorry for your loss, but you seem really invested in attacking the OP, who also lost a baby. Maybe you should bow out.

Actually, initially, I asked OP about some clarification, after expressing sympathy. The whole entire subject of this thread is "abortion saved my life." Once I asked, with great sympathy, whether in fact the abortion saved her life, or risked it (which the OP pretty much explains), I was attached by her and many other posters. If she is going to make a specious claim, with no medical evidence, she should anticipate some questions. Not invested in attaching anybody, but OP sounds like a selfish jerk at this point, honestly. She hasn't shown an ounce of sympathy for anybody on this thread, except the one other poster who chose abortion for medical reasons. I wonder what OP's opinion on those who choose it for lifestyle reasons is.

You didn’t ask. You asserted you knew better than OP and her doctors, and you engaged in some really weird projection about somehow feeling slighted about your loss because it wasn’t an abortion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

I mean I’m not a doctor but all my doctors told me I would be at higher risk of placental abruption if I waited. So maybe it hastened the inevitable but at least I was already in the OR when it happened.

What it hastened, by probabaly only a few hours, was delivery. In fact, my 20-week twins were born because of placental abruption and when that happens, so does spontaneous abortion--at 20 weeks, that means delivery of babies, non-viable babies. Trust me, I held mine. They are not a sack of cells as some people like to believe. I love that OP gets all kinds of sympathy for her choice to end the pregnancy, but mine ended without a choice and all I get is argument. I asked a thoughtful question, shared my opinion--which includes believing strongly in OP's and everyone else's right to abort their pregnancies--for any reason--but it's not good enough. Evidently, you're either with them on celebrating abortion or you're against them. Got it.

I’m not sure what your objection is. You are not OP’s doctor - OP’s doctor assessed that it was unsafe to continue the pregnancy. *that is what medical choice means.* that the doctor and patient decide. the fact that you delivered at 20 weeks after an abruption has nothing at all to do with OP’s situation.

You're not reading OP's posts very closely. If you had been, you would see what I know: the abortion was worse for her than had she waited. But fine, she made a choice. She was asked questions, changed her story. My familiarity with complications extends beyond my own loss and OP either misunderstood her situation or is changing her story to make this post work. According to the facts of her original story--before she started changing it, and even to an extend afterward--abortion did not save her life.

I am sorry for your loss, but you seem really invested in attacking the OP, who also lost a baby. Maybe you should bow out.

Actually, initially, I asked OP about some clarification, after expressing sympathy. The whole entire subject of this thread is "abortion saved my life." Once I asked, with great sympathy, whether in fact the abortion saved her life, or risked it (which the OP pretty much explains), I was attached by her and many other posters. If she is going to make a specious claim, with no medical evidence, she should anticipate some questions. Not invested in attaching anybody, but OP sounds like a selfish jerk at this point, honestly. She hasn't shown an ounce of sympathy for anybody on this thread, except the one other poster who chose abortion for medical reasons. I wonder what OP's opinion on those who choose it for lifestyle reasons is.

You didn’t ask. You asserted you knew better than OP and her doctors, and you engaged in some really weird projection about somehow feeling slighted about your loss because it wasn’t an abortion.

What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own?

OP is making a political statement shrouded in a story that is devoid of fact. She changed her story when questioned whether it "saved her life." I assume you're OP, by the way. Otherwise, it's kind of weird to be so defensive of an internet stranger.

[Anonymous]

Please support organizations who are helping women get out of abortion ban states to get the care they need. This document is very useful and practical https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRqbxh96ynlqdYUInUZB5GWrE2GIcW3FEXdtxO_n2BXMAd2HOkNssn3aP77zSXBN43TIJ3Xab2ih9vE/pub

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for sharing your story, OP. And I'm sorry for your loss.


But here's my abortion story: I've never needed one. And it doesn't matter if you wanted the baby or if you were raped or if it saved your life or whatever. It doesn't matter if your BC failed or if you're a "slut" or whatever, abortion is healthcare and it's a human right for women to have control over if or when they have a baby.

Let's get to work...

I for one think abortion is a hard, hard issue. It’s simply not as easy or simple an issue as the hard-core right, or hard-core left, would make it sound. But I have come to believe that the politics around this issue have everything to do with a bunch of (generally speaking) old white people trying to tell women how to have sex. You were raped! Okay, we give you permission. You sleep around? We forbid it. This issue is hard and no one, no one should have the power to make that decision for someone else.

Absolutely. This is about imposing religious/moral views about sex and gender and relationships on others. These cultural fascists cannot easily control whether a woman has sex or whether she gets married or how many kids she has or if she goes to church or if she is a SAHM. What they CAN control is whether she can access an abortion. Abortion is a proxy for everything else they want to impose on us: women who get married young and have multiple kids and stay home and go to church.

Exactly— and that’s why contraception is next. Any contraception that is under a woman’s control is in jeopardy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

How do we know you didn’t really abort those twins? How do we know you didn’t do something intentional to those twins?

Do you like questions like that? Because that’s what’s coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you got the procedure but what of the abortions at 24 weeks that are done simply because the mother decides to choose to kill the fetus? I have a hard time with thinking that is right.

Why?

If it is just about the fetus being a human being who needs protection, what difference does it make? Rape, incest, lack of funds for an earlier abortion, the health of the mother, being unsure until 24 weeks…why does it matter? Does the value of a fetus depend on *how* it came into existence?

When people say that a woman shouldn’t be able to get an abortion because she made mistakes or didn’t do things soon enough, it sounds to me like people are just using pregnancy and childbirth to punish someone.

The distinction is between a medically necessary procedure to save the life of the mother as opposed to a person who just all of the sudden decides to kill the baby.