My abortion story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

And this here is why a “life of the mother” exception is not enough. People will squabble about what is actually going to kill the pregnant person and what is just going to hurt her. At best there will obviously be a lot of harm, which is understood when there is no harm to the mother exception. But there will also be more material death.

But the above is not a political or even moral question, but truly one about what is best for the mother. Abortion at 20 weeks or later, as you can see from OP's post, is not a no-brainer. It can be dangerous and not in the best of interest of the mother. It's like pro-abortionists cannot see any nuane. I am pro-choice, so this is not political, but honestly. How can you read OP's story and not see that the abortion did not save her life. She her herself describes how it almost killed her.

Oh you’re right. I didn’t read carefully. Now I wonder why she would use this example. Honestly the idea that it’s a false flag thing.

I’m the OP. I suppose I could have been clear. The pregnancy would have killed me but for the abortion.

Because these anti-choice nuts want to close their eyes and pretend everything is hunky dory. They don't think about women who wanted the baby but would die without abortion. They don't think about 11 year olds raped by their fathers, they don't think about moms who are barely scraping by, choosing the kid they already have. They want to think it's all just women who couldn't be bothered to take birth control or hate children or some other nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

And this here is why a “life of the mother” exception is not enough. People will squabble about what is actually going to kill the pregnant person and what is just going to hurt her. At best there will obviously be a lot of harm, which is understood when there is no harm to the mother exception. But there will also be more material death.

But the above is not a political or even moral question, but truly one about what is best for the mother. Abortion at 20 weeks or later, as you can see from OP's post, is not a no-brainer. It can be dangerous and not in the best of interest of the mother. It's like pro-abortionists cannot see any nuane. I am pro-choice, so this is not political, but honestly. How can you read OP's story and not see that the abortion did not save her life. She her herself describes how it almost killed her.

Oh you’re right. I didn’t read carefully. Now I wonder why she would use this example. Honestly the idea that it’s a false flag thing.

I’m the OP. I suppose I could have been clear. The pregnancy would have killed me but for the abortion.

Gotcha. Thanks.

All my doctors agreed the only choice was to terminate my pregnancy, and to wait until the heart technically stopped beating (even though no other organs were developing) would but my life in imminent risk of death due to the issues with my placenta.

[Anonymous]

OP I am very sorry for your loss and all you have been through. Like a PP I had a life threatening loss during COVID, ectopic, but at no point when flagging that my pregnancy may have been ectopic was the term abortion used with me in regard to terminating the pregnancy. I also ended up in the hospital alone convincing ER doctors that it was ectopic because it was so early and my numbers did not present normally and ended up losing a Fallopian tube, so on much smaller scale I can sympathize. Your experience sounds horrific and I feel sad for all women who went thorough these losses during COVID about how much was taken from us because our husbands/partners couldn't be there to truly understand what we went through and the extreme focus on being COVID adverse (necessary) adding levels of stress to these sad situations.

Could you expand on what you had to do in regards to Hyde amendment and paperwork if continuing the pregnancy was life-threatening to you and non-viable? Also, something I am actively doing to keep things in perspective is to acknowledge what I went through was rare, and the doctors didn't understand the situation well. Given that you were also in the DMV and we have access to a larger field of medical professional than a lot of the country, to me this situation and many of the tragic stories of later term pregnancy loss are reflecting how rare those situations are and maybe how little resources we put into studying these pregnancies and training for them vs. access to abortion. As you point out, your situation would play out the same today in this area with or without Roe v. Wade.

The stories that are flooding the media right now with people with these types of pregnancy losses are tragic, but saying they wouldn't have the same outcomes because of the reversal of Roe v. Wade seems disingenuous. I am curious to learning how it does directly impact, and if you could share that would be very enlightening, and may be change minds on some aspects of what is being discussed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

Infection, placental abruption, bleeding. When a pregnancy is going very wrong it’s not safe to continue it for the mother. The placenta is a vascular organ that connects the mother’s circulatory system to the fetus via blood vessels. It’s not safe to just let a deteriorating placenta hang out there in your body indefinitely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

And this here is why a “life of the mother” exception is not enough. People will squabble about what is actually going to kill the pregnant person and what is just going to hurt her. At best there will obviously be a lot of harm, which is understood when there is no harm to the mother exception. But there will also be more material death.

But the above is not a political or even moral question, but truly one about what is best for the mother. Abortion at 20 weeks or later, as you can see from OP's post, is not a no-brainer. It can be dangerous and not in the best of interest of the mother. It's like pro-abortionists cannot see any nuane. I am pro-choice, so this is not political, but honestly. How can you read OP's story and not see that the abortion did not save her life. She her herself describes how it almost killed her.

OMG. What do you think would have happened if the placenta was allowed to deteriorate further inside her? Is your view that women have to wait around for a medical emergency to deserve an abortion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

And this here is why a “life of the mother” exception is not enough. People will squabble about what is actually going to kill the pregnant person and what is just going to hurt her. At best there will obviously be a lot of harm, which is understood when there is no harm to the mother exception. But there will also be more material death.

But the above is not a political or even moral question, but truly one about what is best for the mother. Abortion at 20 weeks or later, as you can see from OP's post, is not a no-brainer. It can be dangerous and not in the best of interest of the mother. It's like pro-abortionists cannot see any nuane. I am pro-choice, so this is not political, but honestly. How can you read OP's story and not see that the abortion did not save her life. She her herself describes how it almost killed her.

If I would have waited a few more weeks for the heart to stop, I would have had the exact same procedure. The doctors did not think it was safe to wait. Also, this was a decision I made with my experienced doctors and should not be made by judges, politicians, or internet trolls. Even in states with life of the mother exemptions the care will not be available because no doctors want to go to jail for it. That’s the point

This is such a critical point. Doctors will end up being far more conservative about “life of the mother” because they won’t want to risk it. If the mother ends up dying they won’t fear a lawsuit because they’ll be plenty protected by the high standards of proving medical malpractice. No doctor wants to risk jail time or loss of license from an overbearing government.

[Anonymous]

Agree, OP. I had severe HG - severe enough that I was hospitalized at 9 weeks and living on banana bags. This was a wanted pregnancy achieved through very expensive fertility treatments. I lost 15% of my body weight and have had ongoing GI issues and complex PTSD ever since.

Knowing what can happen to women with HG that severe - stroke, heart attack, organ failure - I begged for an abortion. My doctor refused because I wasn't dying at that exact moment. I ate two saltines and checked myself out of the hospital. I literally crawled out through the lobby. Vomited nonstop for three days while I waited to get seen at Planned Parenthood. They saved my life.

This was at GW in 2012. Not a Catholic hospital. Not 1950. While abortion Roe was still the law of the land.

It's women like me who are going to suffer the most under this ruling. Those of us whose pregnancies threaten our lives but aren't yet actively in organ failure. I'm also very concerned for women who, like me, suffer from miscarriage. D&C is often necessary to clear the uterus. As my doctor explained while I wept over the loss of our first pregnancy, the line between miscarriage and not-miscarriage is not as bright as it seems on TV. Miscarriage, to some degree, is a medical judgement. I worry for those women whose doctors will wait too long to make that judgment and who will experience sepsis and other complications as a result.

I don't think most Americans understand any of this medicine well enough to truly understand what these laws are going to do to the women who are their neighbors and friends - "good," Christian, pro-life women experiencing very much wanted pregnancies need abortions too.

[Anonymous]

I’m very sorry for your loss, but it sounds like the abortion almost killed you. How was it your old choice? Why couldn’t you have waited to see if your body naturally miscarried?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very sorry for your loss, but it sounds like the abortion almost killed you. How was it your old choice? Why couldn’t you have waited to see if your body naturally miscarried?

Yes, definitely wait and see with a deteriorating placenta! What a great idea! MAybe the Lord would provide a miracle!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very sorry for your loss, but it sounds like the abortion almost killed you. How was it your old choice? Why couldn’t you have waited to see if your body naturally miscarried?

Bleeding and sepsis. Waiting and seeing can be fatal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

I mean I’m not a doctor but all my doctors told me I would be at higher risk of placental abruption if I waited. So maybe it hastened the inevitable but at least I was already in the OR when it happened.

What it hastened, by probabaly only a few hours, was delivery. In fact, my 20-week twins were born because of placental abruption and when that happens, so does spontaneous abortion--at 20 weeks, that means delivery of babies, non-viable babies. Trust me, I held mine. They are not a sack of cells as some people like to believe. I love that OP gets all kinds of sympathy for her choice to end the pregnancy, but mine ended without a choice and all I get is argument. I asked a thoughtful question, shared my opinion--which includes believing strongly in OP's and everyone else's right to abort their pregnancies--for any reason--but it's not good enough. Evidently, you're either with them on celebrating abortion or you're against them. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

I mean I’m not a doctor but all my doctors told me I would be at higher risk of placental abruption if I waited. So maybe it hastened the inevitable but at least I was already in the OR when it happened.

What it hastened, by probabaly only a few hours, was delivery. In fact, my 20-week twins were born because of placental abruption and when that happens, so does spontaneous abortion--at 20 weeks, that means delivery of babies, non-viable babies. Trust me, I held mine. They are not a sack of cells as some people like to believe. I love that OP gets all kinds of sympathy for her choice to end the pregnancy, but mine ended without a choice and all I get is argument. I asked a thoughtful question, shared my opinion--which includes believing strongly in OP's and everyone else's right to abort their pregnancies--for any reason--but it's not good enough. Evidently, you're either with them on celebrating abortion or you're against them. Got it.

I’m not sure what your objection is. You are not OP’s doctor - OP’s doctor assessed that it was unsafe to continue the pregnancy. *that is what medical choice means.* that the doctor and patient decide. the fact that you delivered at 20 weeks after an abruption has nothing at all to do with OP’s situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

I mean I’m not a doctor but all my doctors told me I would be at higher risk of placental abruption if I waited. So maybe it hastened the inevitable but at least I was already in the OR when it happened.

What it hastened, by probabaly only a few hours, was delivery. In fact, my 20-week twins were born because of placental abruption and when that happens, so does spontaneous abortion--at 20 weeks, that means delivery of babies, non-viable babies. Trust me, I held mine. They are not a sack of cells as some people like to believe. I love that OP gets all kinds of sympathy for her choice to end the pregnancy, but mine ended without a choice and all I get is argument. I asked a thoughtful question, shared my opinion--which includes believing strongly in OP's and everyone else's right to abort their pregnancies--for any reason--but it's not good enough. Evidently, you're either with them on celebrating abortion or you're against them. Got it.

I’m not sure what your objection is. You are not OP’s doctor - OP’s doctor assessed that it was unsafe to continue the pregnancy. *that is what medical choice means.* that the doctor and patient decide. the fact that you delivered at 20 weeks after an abruption has nothing at all to do with OP’s situation.

You're not reading OP's posts very closely. If you had been, you would see what I know: the abortion was worse for her than had she waited. But fine, she made a choice. She was asked questions, changed her story. My familiarity with complications extends beyond my own loss and OP either misunderstood her situation or is changing her story to make this post work. According to the facts of her original story--before she started changing it, and even to an extend afterward--abortion did not save her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I delievered twins at 20 weeks and obviously they lived only a few hours, so I am truly sympathetic to your loss. I also endured non-stop and dangerous bleeding after a different delivery. So I understand a little bit what you went through. So please understand, I don't mean to be callous or dismissive. But, I am trying to understand how the abortion saved your life. It kind of sounds like the abortion endangered your life. What would have happened had the pregnancy been left to end on its own? Yes, it would have been difficult to know you were carrying a baby that would not survive, but it may very well have been a safer decision. Sometimes in life we suffer through very sad things. I have had my share. But I don't think it's accurate to say that abortion saved your life.

I mean I’m not a doctor but all my doctors told me I would be at higher risk of placental abruption if I waited. So maybe it hastened the inevitable but at least I was already in the OR when it happened.

What it hastened, by probabaly only a few hours, was delivery. In fact, my 20-week twins were born because of placental abruption and when that happens, so does spontaneous abortion--at 20 weeks, that means delivery of babies, non-viable babies. Trust me, I held mine. They are not a sack of cells as some people like to believe. I love that OP gets all kinds of sympathy for her choice to end the pregnancy, but mine ended without a choice and all I get is argument. I asked a thoughtful question, shared my opinion--which includes believing strongly in OP's and everyone else's right to abort their pregnancies--for any reason--but it's not good enough. Evidently, you're either with them on celebrating abortion or you're against them. Got it.

I’m not sure what your objection is. You are not OP’s doctor - OP’s doctor assessed that it was unsafe to continue the pregnancy. *that is what medical choice means.* that the doctor and patient decide. the fact that you delivered at 20 weeks after an abruption has nothing at all to do with OP’s situation.

You're not reading OP's posts very closely. If you had been, you would see what I know: the abortion was worse for her than had she waited. But fine, she made a choice. She was asked questions, changed her story. My familiarity with complications extends beyond my own loss and OP either misunderstood her situation or is changing her story to make this post work. According to the facts of her original story--before she started changing it, and even to an extend afterward--abortion did not save her life.

OP’s post says *no such thing.* You are making that up based on your own, layperson’s beliefs about a medical situation you weren’t present for and are in no way qualified to judge. In other words, an object lesson in why it is so incredibly dangerous to interfere between doctor and patient in these matters.

[Anonymous]

I had a medical abortion. The embryo heart stopped but because of other issues my body would not miscarry. I’m ever thankful that my doctor was kind and performed it before sepsis set in. People posting here know very little about the dangers of pregnancy.
I have had 3 friends with later MC who nearly bled to death. MC can be fatal.
Up until recently the main cause of death among women under 50 was childbirth or pregnancy complications of which there are many.
But nothing will change the pro choice attitude.