Six-year-old said something racist today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where was your kid born op? What is wrong with your DH saying he is from Florida? Is he not from Florida?
You are racist yourself, your bias is clear and loud to all. You see your kid as Myanmar and not white and not American. You married a guy from a country where being more white is a benefit and admired!
That poor kid!

OP here. Wow. I'm not sure how to respond to that. You're pulling stuff out of your ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where was your kid born op? What is wrong with your DH saying he is from Florida? Is he not from Florida?
You are racist yourself, your bias is clear and loud to all. You see your kid as Myanmar and not white and not American. You married a guy from a country where being more white is a benefit and admired!
That poor kid!

OP here. Wow. I'm not sure how to respond to that. You're pulling stuff out of your ass.

Your response to this post is very telling. It states that you are unaware of your racial bias.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where was your kid born op? What is wrong with your DH saying he is from Florida? Is he not from Florida?
You are racist yourself, your bias is clear and loud to all. You see your kid as Myanmar and not white and not American. You married a guy from a country where being more white is a benefit and admired!
That poor kid!

OP here. Wow. I'm not sure how to respond to that. You're pulling stuff out of your ass.

Your response to this post is very telling. It states that you are unaware of your racial bias.

I have never referred to my child as being Burmese. You know next to nothing about me and you're saying I am racist against white people?! This is non-sense. I made this post because I want to get things right, and my husband is making things hard by telling the kids they are white. My husband refers to himself as Burmese all the time in our house. He talks about "his country". I don't know what you are going on about and how you're coming to these conclusions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where was your kid born op? What is wrong with your DH saying he is from Florida? Is he not from Florida?
You are racist yourself, your bias is clear and loud to all. You see your kid as Myanmar and not white and not American. You married a guy from a country where being more white is a benefit and admired!
That poor kid!

OP here. Wow. I'm not sure how to respond to that. You're pulling stuff out of your ass.

Your response to this post is very telling. It states that you are unaware of your racial bias.

I have never referred to my child as being Burmese. You know next to nothing about me and you're saying I am racist against white people?! This is non-sense. I made this post because I want to get things right, and my husband is making things hard by telling the kids they are white. My husband refers to himself as Burmese all the time in our house. He talks about "his country". I don't know what you are going on about and how you're coming to these conclusions.

No honey, I am saying you are racist against darker skinner people. As if your DH. The fact that you do not know what I am going about shows that you are not aware of your racial bias.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where was your kid born op? What is wrong with your DH saying he is from Florida? Is he not from Florida?
You are racist yourself, your bias is clear and loud to all. You see your kid as Myanmar and not white and not American. You married a guy from a country where being more white is a benefit and admired!
That poor kid!

OP here. Wow. I'm not sure how to respond to that. You're pulling stuff out of your ass.

Your response to this post is very telling. It states that you are unaware of your r

Racial bias.

I have never referred to my child as being Burmese. You know next to nothing about me and you're saying I am racist against white people?! This is non-sense. I made this post because I want to get things right, and my husband is making things hard by telling the kids they are white. My husband refers to himself as Burmese all the time in our house. He talks about "his country". I don't know what you are going on about and how you're coming to these conclusions.

No honey, I am saying you are racist against darker skinner people. As if your DH. The fact that you do not know what I am going about shows that you are not aware of your racial bias.

OP here. Are you always like this? It's like you want to start a fight about nothing. I married a person of color who is dark-skinned but yet I'm the racist one. You know nothing about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where was your kid born op? What is wrong with your DH saying he is from Florida? Is he not from Florida?
You are racist yourself, your bias is clear and loud to all. You see your kid as Myanmar and not white and not American. You married a guy from a country where being more white is a benefit and admired!
That poor kid!

OP here. Wow. I'm not sure how to respond to that. You're pulling stuff out of your ass.

Your response to this post is very telling. It states that you are unaware of your r

Racial bias.

I have never referred to my child as being Burmese. You know next to nothing about me and you're saying I am racist against white people?! This is non-sense. I made this post because I want to get things right, and my husband is making things hard by telling the kids they are white. My husband refers to himself as Burmese all the time in our house. He talks about "his country". I don't know what you are going on about and how you're coming to these conclusions.

No honey, I am saying you are racist against darker skinner people. As if your DH. The fact that you do not know what I am going about shows that you are not aware of your racial bias.

OP here. Are you always like this? It's like you want to start a fight about nothing. I married a person of color who is dark-skinned but yet I'm the racist one. You know nothing about me.

This is DCUM. 100% she is always like this. Pretty par for the course here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all S Asians who marry white people are racist or colorist, but it sure seems like that played into your husband’s decision making!

Who is asking you to identify your child’s race? My child at that age described people as pink, tan, brown. As we talked about history and race, we talked about labels. Still told our kids they are half white/half Asian. That’s how they answer if anyone asks. Every form I have had to fill out allows me to check both. Why are you erasing half of their heritage? Their skin color is not all that makes them half-Indian. There are lots of black people with light enough skin to be considered white. It’s not about skin color. Why are you and your husband so focused on trying to be white? Of course your kids will be messed up.

I know multiple S Asian men with similar issues. Their white wives have stepped up to learn about their culture, pass it along to their kids, so they can love all parts of themselves. You may have to address some of your own prejudices and step up here. Your husband is likely not going to be the one who can navigate this well.

He has dark skin. He's friends with mostly Asians or Arabs. I don't think he's racist. Maybe he said that because he thought if the kids identified themselves as white, their lives would be easier. My husband is much more Asian than American, but he's from Myanmar. It's harder to find circles like that here. He doesn't use bleach creams or anything like that. Most of his family doesn't speak English. They don't live in the US.

OP here. I know he's not racist, but he gets uncomfortable when people ask him where he's from. For example, we were on a boat tour, an Indian guy asked him if he was Mexican, and my husband told him he was from Florida. I'm not sure why my husband couldn't say I am from Myanmar. I try to stay out of it.

Your husband hates himself. It’s common among minority men that” marry out.” Maybe counseling would help but it’s toxic for both of your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He said it's a good thing he's not black. His Dad is south Asian. He's medium brown. I am white. His dad does say the baby is like a white version of him, and he is. He looks like a copy of my husband except for the skin color. When our six-year-old said this, we asked him why he would say that. He immediately started crying. I explained that it was very offensive. He's exposed to different people at school and Saturday language school. I'm not sure if he mixed up with words/meanings. Right before he said that, he asked me what color he was. He asks this question a lot. His little brother has lighter skin. I tell him he's a mix of Mommy and Daddy, olive-toned. I don't know if we should be talking more or less about skin color. I want to bring up the topic again.

At that age it’s not racist. Just ask him why next time. He may say something as simple as, “because I can write on y arm with markers and see it better.”
He definitely was not going to say “because I learned about systemic racism in kindergarten last week.” Or maybe he did….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all S Asians who marry white people are racist or colorist, but it sure seems like that played into your husband’s decision making!

Who is asking you to identify your child’s race? My child at that age described people as pink, tan, brown. As we talked about history and race, we talked about labels. Still told our kids they are half white/half Asian. That’s how they answer if anyone asks. Every form I have had to fill out allows me to check both. Why are you erasing half of their heritage? Their skin color is not all that makes them half-Indian. There are lots of black people with light enough skin to be considered white. It’s not about skin color. Why are you and your husband so focused on trying to be white? Of course your kids will be messed up.

I know multiple S Asian men with similar issues. Their white wives have stepped up to learn about their culture, pass it along to their kids, so they can love all parts of themselves. You may have to address some of your own prejudices and step up here. Your husband is likely not going to be the one who can navigate this well.

He has dark skin. He's friends with mostly Asians or Arabs. I don't think he's racist. Maybe he said that because he thought if the kids identified themselves as white, their lives would be easier. My husband is much more Asian than American, but he's from Myanmar. It's harder to find circles like that here. He doesn't use bleach creams or anything like that. Most of his family doesn't speak English. They don't live in the US.

OP here. I know he's not racist, but he gets uncomfortable when people ask him where he's from. For example, we were on a boat tour, an Indian guy asked him if he was Mexican, and my husband told him he was from Florida. I'm not sure why my husband couldn't say I am from Myanmar. I try to stay out of it.

Your husband hates himself. It’s common among minority men that” marry out.” Maybe counseling would help but it’s toxic for both of your kids.

He should just say it, and with pride and then be himself and let his self merits shine through.

Sometimes maybe he’s not up for questions- where’s that, how is your family back home handling the unrest, are you in metals and mining, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He said it's a good thing he's not black. His Dad is south Asian. He's medium brown. I am white. His dad does say the baby is like a white version of him, and he is. He looks like a copy of my husband except for the skin color. When our six-year-old said this, we asked him why he would say that. He immediately started crying. I explained that it was very offensive. He's exposed to different people at school and Saturday language school. I'm not sure if he mixed up with words/meanings. Right before he said that, he asked me what color he was. He asks this question a lot. His little brother has lighter skin. I tell him he's a mix of Mommy and Daddy, olive-toned. I don't know if we should be talking more or less about skin color. I want to bring up the topic again.

OP you need to have a serious talk with YOUR HUSBAND. In South Asia, colorism is big and real, he may not even noticed how he interacts with his dark skinned son versus the lighter baby or the comments he makes. It may all be still in his subconscious, but your husband and his family have been exposed to a deep, long seeded self hatred of dark skin. Your kid is just picking upon cues.

The other son is not dark at all. Maybe he notices we talk about his brother being white and feels left out.

Huh?? Just cut out the skin color chats. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My white dd is 5.5 and she can't stop talking about skin color. Kindergarten has really done a number on her. She told my best friend (her godmother!) that she was glad that she (the godmother) could sit at the table with her because "now a days, people of all colors can sit together!" And on metro "is he sitting at the back because he's black?" I about died at that one, luckily no one heard it.

We've talked a lot about it at home because I get that she's just curious. I repeat a lot that we don't talk about other people, especially not in front of them.

My young kid twists all these race and gender school lessons up too, or takes them super literally. mass confusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At the park the other day, my 4yo son (half-white, half hispanic) was playing with a black girl. She was older than him and was taking toys from him and being a little pushy - all within the range of normal kid play, but I could see that my son was getting a bit frustrated. At one point he ran over to me and I asked him whether he wanted to keep playing where we were or go to the playground. He pointed to the playground and a white boy playing there and said "maybe we can play with that boy, he has the same color skin as us."

I was caught off guard and sputtered something like "yes, people have all different colors of skin, and we can play with everyone"

I don't know if I handled it correctly. My hope is that it was just an observation that he phrased weirdly bc he is 4.

My kid doesn’t like loud and pushy kids at recess either. Unf she drew a pattern one day and asked Why are the XYZ kids so loud and pushy.?” I only said rude kids or people come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He said it's a good thing he's not black. His Dad is south Asian. He's medium brown. I am white. His dad does say the baby is like a white version of him, and he is. He looks like a copy of my husband except for the skin color. When our six-year-old said this, we asked him why he would say that. He immediately started crying. I explained that it was very offensive. He's exposed to different people at school and Saturday language school. I'm not sure if he mixed up with words/meanings. Right before he said that, he asked me what color he was. He asks this question a lot. His little brother has lighter skin. I tell him he's a mix of Mommy and Daddy, olive-toned. I don't know if we should be talking more or less about skin color. I want to bring up the topic again.

OP you need to have a serious talk with YOUR HUSBAND. In South Asia, colorism is big and real, he may not even noticed how he interacts with his dark skinned son versus the lighter baby or the comments he makes. It may all be still in his subconscious, but your husband and his family have been exposed to a deep, long seeded self hatred of dark skin. Your kid is just picking upon cues.

The other son is not dark at all. Maybe he notices we talk about his brother being white and feels left out.

Huh?? Just cut out the skin color chats. Sheesh.

Children ask what color they are all the time. Kind of hard to do that.