My sister is raising a bratty kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK do you feel better now that you've vented?

She did the right thing. I bet your kids are brats and no one wants them for play dates.

No, it's just that she puts out the vibe of my parents who, for any little offense my kid or my niece makes (and they are younger than 7!), their response is to criticize them, our parenting and/or say we need to "smack them on the butt and that'll fix that"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK do you feel better now that you've vented?

She did the right thing. I bet your kids are brats and no one wants them for play dates.

No, it's just that she puts out the vibe of my parents who, for any little offense my kid or my niece makes (and they are younger than 7!), their response is to criticize them, our parenting and/or say we need to "smack them on the butt and that'll fix that"

She doesn’t at all, to me. This is a vent board, she’s venting, and I don’t blame her. The ugly truth is that some kids are mean as hell, and if they aren’t corrected, let’s say gently but consistently, it doesn’t get better. A “free range” 7 year old being shitty to an autistic kid and his mom is a shithead, even if it’s just for a moment. I have a 7 year old DD. I’m surrounded by her friends abs acquaintances. The ones who would act like this are assholes, being raised by assholes. It’s not a “mistake” and I know you’re a liar in trying to paint this kind of attitude the niece allegedly has as to be somewhat expected because of immaturity. I disagree. It’s an outlier, and an unpleasant one. And it’s ok for her aunt to peace out for now.

[Anonymous]

And enough with the Mom shaming of the crying parent.

I don’t doubt that kids and parents are mean enough that taking a SN child to a park is a constant battle. Probably wasn’t the first or the last time someone was cruel to their child.

And so maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she had just lost her job or had someone close to her die or is worried about paying bills or just had a miscarriage or something else that had her teetering that day.

Have a SN child and go to the park and then you can judge her tears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK do you feel better now that you've vented?

She did the right thing. I bet your kids are brats and no one wants them for play dates.

No, it's just that she puts out the vibe of my parents who, for any little offense my kid or my niece makes (and they are younger than 7!), their response is to criticize them, our parenting and/or say we need to "smack them on the butt and that'll fix that"

She doesn’t at all, to me. This is a vent board, she’s venting, and I don’t blame her. The ugly truth is that some kids are mean as hell, and if they aren’t corrected, let’s say gently but consistently, it doesn’t get better. A “free range” 7 year old being shitty to an autistic kid and his mom is a shithead, even if it’s just for a moment. I have a 7 year old DD. I’m surrounded by her friends abs acquaintances. The ones who would act like this are assholes, being raised by assholes. It’s not a “mistake” and I know you’re a liar in trying to paint this kind of attitude the niece allegedly has as to be somewhat expected because of immaturity. I disagree. It’s an outlier, and an unpleasant one. And it’s ok for her aunt to peace out for now.

+1. And those pps defending the niece should know that kids like that do not turn out OK in the long run without interventions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your solution is to further isolate her with her mom, who you think is a bad parent, instead of providing a good example of how to behave and interact with others?

And are you saying the adult cried because your niece called her kids names after they stepped on her? She sounds like she might be too sensitive to go to the park.

+1 Cannot believe they parent was crying! Geez!

You have no idea what was going on in that person’s life. Maybe she was dealing with some very bad news. Maybe she is going through a divorce. Maybe her controlling mother criticizes her on how she raises her own children and this stick a nerve. You have no idea so don’t judge the mother. That said, a seven year old should not be preaching to an adult about their kid. Full stop. She’s got boundary issues.

She's SEVEN. She doesn't have "boundary issues." She doesn't even know what boundaries are. I have all the empathy in the world for the mom with the special needs child crying in the park, but I also am not going to blame that woman's troubles on a 7yo who said/did something rude. The child needs guidance. It's unfortunate what happened. But the people acting like this young child should have understood all of what you describe here and fine tuned her reaction to be sensitive to the challenges of parenting autistic children is ridiculous. I know some very mature, sensitive 7 year olds and I wouldn't expect any of them to do that. I also know very few adults who would do it that well. A lot of people are emotionally limited (including OP, based on what she has posed here) but I give a lot more leeway to a child who is still learning.

Then her parents failed. You start teaching and reinforcing boundaries at 3 or 4.

All of you with your endless excusemaking for this rotten behavior are raising the next generation of coddled brats.

[Anonymous]

It's clear that your niece gets her tendency to overreact from you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's clear that your niece gets her tendency to overreact from you...[/quote

I am sure your kids if you have them are so ever precious to you.
God bless you!

[Anonymous]

Your niece sounds very difficult and your sister is doing her a huge disservice. It sounds like a perfect storm of an inherently challenging personality and terrible parenting. I know other free-range kids and, while they can have their moments, they are nothing like what you describe. Most kids, no matter how they are being raised, are somewhat eager to please. Most kids are better at reading situations and other people's reactions. Most kids are not so hot tempered as to explode over being stepped on by a much smaller kid.

Ultimately the one who is going to suffer the most is your niece. She is going to have a terrible time at school if she doesn't already. Nobody is going to like her. I feel sorry for her.

OP, if you can find a way to include her in ways that aren't so frustrating (maybe just at home on short visits?) I strongly recommend trying to find a way to be compassionate. This child is not going to have an easy time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your niece sounds very difficult and your sister is doing her a huge disservice. It sounds like a perfect storm of an inherently challenging personality and terrible parenting. I know other free-range kids and, while they can have their moments, they are nothing like what you describe. Most kids, no matter how they are being raised, are somewhat eager to please. Most kids are better at reading situations and other people's reactions. Most kids are not so hot tempered as to explode over being stepped on by a much smaller kid.

Ultimately the one who is going to suffer the most is your niece. She is going to have a terrible time at school if she doesn't already. Nobody is going to like her. I feel sorry for her.

OP, if you can find a way to include her in ways that aren't so frustrating (maybe just at home on short visits?) I strongly recommend trying to find a way to be compassionate. This child is not going to have an easy time.

OP here,
My sister is working this weekend and I have invited my niece and her dad for Easter Lunch. I know she is only seven years old but she needs to listen and follow directions, her father is a hand on dad, will step in and displain if needed.I spoke to my niece last night and she was actually pleasant and kind. I want only the best outcome for her.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, discipline

[Anonymous]

You can gently correct her and teach empathy without being mean. “Sarah honey, the little girl stepped on you because she didn’t see you there. It’s really unkind to be mean about something that was an accident. Think about when you make a mistake. Would you want somebody to say terrible things about you? Of course not and it’s very unkind to do that to other people.” You’d be helping your niece since your sister is dropping the ball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine what a kid could possibly say to me that it would make me cry. And I have an older teenager - I've heard everything!

The kid was special need. My niece knew that because the mom told her and apologize already. Still cursed them both! I can’t deal with this kid

Now she is cursing? You didn't say that before.
Why is some adult crying about what 7 year old says?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your niece sounds very difficult and your sister is doing her a huge disservice. It sounds like a perfect storm of an inherently challenging personality and terrible parenting. I know other free-range kids and, while they can have their moments, they are nothing like what you describe. Most kids, no matter how they are being raised, are somewhat eager to please. Most kids are better at reading situations and other people's reactions. Most kids are not so hot tempered as to explode over being stepped on by a much smaller kid.

Ultimately the one who is going to suffer the most is your niece. She is going to have a terrible time at school if she doesn't already. Nobody is going to like her. I feel sorry for her.

OP, if you can find a way to include her in ways that aren't so frustrating (maybe just at home on short visits?) I strongly recommend trying to find a way to be compassionate. This child is not going to have an easy time.

OP here,
My sister is working this weekend and I have invited my niece and her dad for Easter Lunch. I know she is only seven years old but she needs to listen and follow directions, her father is a hand on dad, will step in and displain if needed.I spoke to my niece last night and she was actually pleasant and kind. I want only the best outcome for her.

OP, that’s good news. Please do not cut your niece off. You and your kids modeling appropriate behavior when she is with you may be what she needs as it is lacking at home. And do have a heart to heart with your sister. Sister can parent as she pleases but her child cursing out other people is a bridge too far…for most.

[Anonymous]

Your niece sounds like a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

You handled it well. I imagine the other Mom might have been overwhelmed managing multiple kids alone and then to
have a random kid say mean things to her young children is definitely possible it put her over the edge. As young as they are, probably first time a stranger was mean to them and as a parent, it’s not fun to witness your child’s worked view that everyone is good, little by little get chipped away.

Again, you did your part. 7 year old should be corrected to not speak to others like that, especially because it was an accident. What if they were older kids or teens? Would she have done so? Probably not. What we have here is the beginning of a bully and time to nip that in the bud.