My sister is raising a bratty kid

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing. You were in charge of her that day because her mom wasn't there. So it's your job to manage the situation there/supervise her. If her behavior was out of line, you work with her right then and there to address it.

My sister and I parent differently, but if my child acts out of line when I'm not there, my sister 100% is allowed to address the situation.

It doesn't sound like your niece's behavior was great that day, I'll give you that. But she's SEVEN. She's going to make mistakes. And she needs to have adults that give her a safe space to make mistakes. By safe I don't mean free reign to act like a brat, I mean adults that will help her to see WHY that's not great behavior and address it in that moment without judgement or feeling some sort of personal offense. Isolating a 7 year old for a mistake is such an over reaction. Sure, maybe you don't want to be in charge of her again by yourself, fine. But it's pretty hateful to isolate her from the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds fake and you should have been supervising the kids better.

Uh, no. The niece’s own freaking *mother* should have been supervising her own damn kid.

Sounds like the mother wasn’t there and aunt (OP) was the responsible adult. So yeah. PP skills have been supervising and was responsible for handling the situation. If OP doesn’t feel qualified to be responsible for this kid then that’s on OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your solution is to further isolate her with her mom, who you think is a bad parent, instead of providing a good example of how to behave and interact with others?

And are you saying the adult cried because your niece called her kids names after they stepped on her? She sounds like she might be too sensitive to go to the park.

+1 Cannot believe they parent was crying! Geez!

You have no idea what was going on in that person’s life. Maybe she was dealing with some very bad news. Maybe she is going through a divorce. Maybe her controlling mother criticizes her on how she raises her own children and this stick a nerve. You have no idea so don’t judge the mother. That said, a seven year old should not be preaching to an adult about their kid. Full stop. She’s got boundary issues.

[Anonymous]

Struck

[Anonymous]

What’s the problem? Stop taking them out by yourself for a few years. My kids and niece and nephews range from 11-14. They are easy now. I would have never taken the 4 of them to the playground or anywhere by myself when they were around 7. All 4 could have their issues on any given day. My sister and I always had drastically different styles and they turned out fine. Now, the cousins mostly hang out without us.

I suggest only having them get together at one of your places for a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your solution is to further isolate her with her mom, who you think is a bad parent, instead of providing a good example of how to behave and interact with others?

And are you saying the adult cried because your niece called her kids names after they stepped on her? She sounds like she might be too sensitive to go to the park.

+1 Cannot believe they parent was crying! Geez!

You have no idea what was going on in that person’s life. Maybe she was dealing with some very bad news. Maybe she is going through a divorce. Maybe her controlling mother criticizes her on how she raises her own children and this stick a nerve. You have no idea so don’t judge the mother. That said, a seven year old should not be preaching to an adult about their kid. Full stop. She’s got boundary issues.

She's SEVEN. She doesn't have "boundary issues." She doesn't even know what boundaries are. I have all the empathy in the world for the mom with the special needs child crying in the park, but I also am not going to blame that woman's troubles on a 7yo who said/did something rude. The child needs guidance. It's unfortunate what happened. But the people acting like this young child should have understood all of what you describe here and fine tuned her reaction to be sensitive to the challenges of parenting autistic children is ridiculous. I know some very mature, sensitive 7 year olds and I wouldn't expect any of them to do that. I also know very few adults who would do it that well. A lot of people are emotionally limited (including OP, based on what she has posed here) but I give a lot more leeway to a child who is still learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are a work in progress. Sounds like you had a great day with your niece and then had one negative incident. For a 7yo, that sounds typical.

I guarantee your kids sometimes do things wrong. I know they do, because they are kids and all kids are still figuring it all out. When your kids do one wrong thing after doing great for hours, do you think “Wow, I guess it’s time to rethink my entire parenting approach because my kids are brats and I’m a failure— I should call my judgmental sister and have her tell me what to do.”

No? I’m guessing your sister doesn’t either.

Glad you are taking a break from your niece as you clearly are not in a place where you can deal with normal 7yo behavior.

It’s equal parts hilarious and pathetic that you think haranguing an ADULT over an accident with a child in a public place when you are SEVEN YEARS OLD is “normal behavior.” LOL.

I didn't say that yelling at the woman was "normal". I said it was pretty normal for a 7 yo to do well for most of the outing and then have one bad moment. When OP said "my sister is raising a bratty kid," I assumed she would describe a child who just constantly demands things from people and is ungrateful and rude. Instead, she described a lovely day at the part that ended with a single, deeply unfortunate, incident. For 7, that's pretty standard. It doesn't mean the child's behavior was acceptable, it means that kids this age rarely have perfect management of their behavior and emotions and that it is super, super common for a kid this age to do something upsetting like this on occasion.

A child who is mostly great but then occasionally awful is... normal. That's why kids don't head off to college at age 7. They are still learning and need tons of guidance. OP is acting like it's unreasonable for her niece to make a bad mistake and what I'm saying is that it's predictable. OP's response is the childish one to me, because OP is an adult and she's responding to this one bad incident by blaming her sister, indicting her young niece like she's irredeemable, and throwing a fit to strangers online. And OP is an adult. That's much more troubling to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are a work in progress. Sounds like you had a great day with your niece and then had one negative incident. For a 7yo, that sounds typical.

I guarantee your kids sometimes do things wrong. I know they do, because they are kids and all kids are still figuring it all out. When your kids do one wrong thing after doing great for hours, do you think “Wow, I guess it’s time to rethink my entire parenting approach because my kids are brats and I’m a failure— I should call my judgmental sister and have her tell me what to do.”

No? I’m guessing your sister doesn’t either.

Glad you are taking a break from your niece as you clearly are not in a place where you can deal with normal 7yo behavior.

It’s equal parts hilarious and pathetic that you think haranguing an ADULT over an accident with a child in a public place when you are SEVEN YEARS OLD is “normal behavior.” LOL.

I didn't say that yelling at the woman was "normal". I said it was pretty normal for a 7 yo to do well for most of the outing and then have one bad moment. When OP said "my sister is raising a bratty kid," I assumed she would describe a child who just constantly demands things from people and is ungrateful and rude. Instead, she described a lovely day at the part that ended with a single, deeply unfortunate, incident. For 7, that's pretty standard. It doesn't mean the child's behavior was acceptable, it means that kids this age rarely have perfect management of their behavior and emotions and that it is super, super common for a kid this age to do something upsetting like this on occasion.

A child who is mostly great but then occasionally awful is... normal. That's why kids don't head off to college at age 7. They are still learning and need tons of guidance. OP is acting like it's unreasonable for her niece to make a bad mistake and what I'm saying is that it's predictable. OP's response is the childish one to me, because OP is an adult and she's responding to this one bad incident by blaming her sister, indicting her young niece like she's irredeemable, and throwing a fit to strangers online. And OP is an adult. That's much more troubling to me.

THIS. It's super concerning behavior for an adult to refuse to hang out with a 7 year old for having a bad day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your solution is to further isolate her with her mom, who you think is a bad parent, instead of providing a good example of how to behave and interact with others?

And are you saying the adult cried because your niece called her kids names after they stepped on her? She sounds like she might be too sensitive to go to the park.

+1 Cannot believe they parent was crying! Geez!

You've clearly never parented a special needs child. You must be like the bratty niece.

[Anonymous]

OP's veering in and out of past and present tenses in her breathless telling of this event is very distracting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK do you feel better now that you've vented?

She did the right thing. I bet your kids are brats and no one wants them for play dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s bizarre. I’ve literally never heard of a kid feeling comfortable having an attitude like that to a complete stranger.

Np here. You don't know my neighbor's kids. They feel comfortable to come and criticize everything we've done in our yard and they do it in front of the parents. They are horribly rude to adults and their parents condone it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are a work in progress. Sounds like you had a great day with your niece and then had one negative incident. For a 7yo, that sounds typical.

I guarantee your kids sometimes do things wrong. I know they do, because they are kids and all kids are still figuring it all out. When your kids do one wrong thing after doing great for hours, do you think “Wow, I guess it’s time to rethink my entire parenting approach because my kids are brats and I’m a failure— I should call my judgmental sister and have her tell me what to do.”

No? I’m guessing your sister doesn’t either.

Glad you are taking a break from your niece as you clearly are not in a place where you can deal with normal 7yo behavior.

It’s equal parts hilarious and pathetic that you think haranguing an ADULT over an accident with a child in a public place when you are SEVEN YEARS OLD is “normal behavior.” LOL.

I didn't say that yelling at the woman was "normal". I said it was pretty normal for a 7 yo to do well for most of the outing and then have one bad moment. When OP said "my sister is raising a bratty kid," I assumed she would describe a child who just constantly demands things from people and is ungrateful and rude. Instead, she described a lovely day at the part that ended with a single, deeply unfortunate, incident. For 7, that's pretty standard. It doesn't mean the child's behavior was acceptable, it means that kids this age rarely have perfect management of their behavior and emotions and that it is super, super common for a kid this age to do something upsetting like this on occasion.

A child who is mostly great but then occasionally awful is... normal. That's why kids don't head off to college at age 7. They are still learning and need tons of guidance. OP is acting like it's unreasonable for her niece to make a bad mistake and what I'm saying is that it's predictable. OP's response is the childish one to me, because OP is an adult and she's responding to this one bad incident by blaming her sister, indicting her young niece like she's irredeemable, and throwing a fit to strangers online. And OP is an adult. That's much more troubling to me.

THIS. It's super concerning behavior for an adult to refuse to hang out with a 7 year old for having a bad day.

SUPER!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are a work in progress. Sounds like you had a great day with your niece and then had one negative incident. For a 7yo, that sounds typical.

I guarantee your kids sometimes do things wrong. I know they do, because they are kids and all kids are still figuring it all out. When your kids do one wrong thing after doing great for hours, do you think “Wow, I guess it’s time to rethink my entire parenting approach because my kids are brats and I’m a failure— I should call my judgmental sister and have her tell me what to do.”

No? I’m guessing your sister doesn’t either.

Glad you are taking a break from your niece as you clearly are not in a place where you can deal with normal 7yo behavior.

It’s equal parts hilarious and pathetic that you think haranguing an ADULT over an accident with a child in a public place when you are SEVEN YEARS OLD is “normal behavior.” LOL.

I didn't say that yelling at the woman was "normal". I said it was pretty normal for a 7 yo to do well for most of the outing and then have one bad moment. When OP said "my sister is raising a bratty kid," I assumed she would describe a child who just constantly demands things from people and is ungrateful and rude. Instead, she described a lovely day at the part that ended with a single, deeply unfortunate, incident. For 7, that's pretty standard. It doesn't mean the child's behavior was acceptable, it means that kids this age rarely have perfect management of their behavior and emotions and that it is super, super common for a kid this age to do something upsetting like this on occasion.

A child who is mostly great but then occasionally awful is... normal. That's why kids don't head off to college at age 7. They are still learning and need tons of guidance. OP is acting like it's unreasonable for her niece to make a bad mistake and what I'm saying is that it's predictable. OP's response is the childish one to me, because OP is an adult and she's responding to this one bad incident by blaming her sister, indicting her young niece like she's irredeemable, and throwing a fit to strangers online. And OP is an adult. That's much more troubling to me.

THIS. It's super concerning behavior for an adult to refuse to hang out with a 7 year old for having a bad day.

Every single play date, dinner, and etc is a challenge with this kid. I had enough

SUPER!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK do you feel better now that you've vented?

She did the right thing. I bet your kids are brats and no one wants them for play dates.

+1. Team OP here.