Working parents – Why does not feel like it’s getting better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because a sizeable chunk of us have kids under 5 and we are invisible and forgotten. No vaccine forthcoming, but the most stringent illness and quarantine requirements, still expected to work like nothing is different, and the rest of the world has largely moved on.

This 100%.

I am grateful for having young kids during the height of the pandemic and not having to deal with online schooling.....but two years in, our daycare kicks out kids with Covid for 10 days. And there was always a reasonable sick requirement....but now every slight fever or runny nose or cough (i.e. all winter long) and you are asked to stay home for 48 hours.

Not to mention covid exposure (false) scares and whole classrooms plus sibling classroom shut downs.

Agreed. Unless something changes with the quarantine rules, and covid exposure is treated the same as exposure to flu and RSV and HFM (we've never encountered classroom shutdowns for those, despite high levels of transmission), this is still rough on families with young children in daycare. But PP is right...it is almost as if some people have forgotten these kids and their families exist, and we should all just be back to normal by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because a sizeable chunk of us have kids under 5 and we are invisible and forgotten. No vaccine forthcoming, but the most stringent illness and quarantine requirements, still expected to work like nothing is different, and the rest of the world has largely moved on.

This 100%.

I am grateful for having young kids during the height of the pandemic and not having to deal with online schooling.....but two years in, our daycare kicks out kids with Covid for 10 days. And there was always a reasonable sick requirement....but now every slight fever or runny nose or cough (i.e. all winter long) and you are asked to stay home for 48 hours.

Not to mention covid exposure (false) scares and whole classrooms plus sibling classroom shut downs.

I am the PP you are responding to and this was our experience so we got a nanny last fall. I am grateful we were able to and it saved our sanity but there are trade offs, too,mainly the isolation.

So we are trying to do a swim class and other things. Even when DD was in day care two weeks out of the month there was an element of isolation.

I was grateful for no online schooling but the under 5 crowd has just NEVER had good options. Only not great or not bad options.

And there is just NO END IN SIGHT for this weird Twilight Zone existence

Yep, Twilight Zone life is the new Normal. It’s like when they would close schools for polio only no where near as serious. COVID exposure means testing and waiting periods; COVID illness means at least 5 days at home, multiple times a year.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have anything new to add to the conversation. Just wanted to say I feel it too.

[Anonymous]

The dual working parent life is insane unless you have:
1) One parent with an extremely flexible or preferably part-time jobs
2) Heavy involvement from grandparents
3) A nanny who also helps with housework

I am fortunate to have all three but if I didn’t have at least one, I would quit. I know plenty of people in my area (Howard County) living on one income. They stopped at one kid and they’re doing just fine.

[Anonymous]

It's draining because there hasn't been a recovery, really. I sort of expected a year of misery and then there would be a treatment or a vaccine that actually works and we would be able to go back to normal en masse, maybe with some new values and lessons learned. Instead half the country went back to normal while the other half made it a religion to stay isolated. Families broke up over this. Friendships are over. Economically things are far worse than two years ago for most families. Companies have decided to get by with half the employees making everyone miserable. Schools are peddling depressing lessons to the kids. All I can do is make things nice in my little house. It's a lot of pressure to be upbeat...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dual working parent life is insane unless you have:
1) One parent with an extremely flexible or preferably part-time jobs
2) Heavy involvement from grandparents
3) A nanny who also helps with housework

I am fortunate to have all three but if I didn’t have at least one, I would quit. I know plenty of people in my area (Howard County) living on one income. They stopped at one kid and they’re doing just fine.

That’s lovely but we managed before COVID without any on your list, but we had the related element of very flexible schedules (one started early and other did drop off, then switch for pickup / working late). I think part of it is we have MORE meetings which means the 3pm departure time used before is now booked till 5pm.

And honestly, waking up as early as I did before is much harder; I haven’t slept well since the literal nightmare phase of the pandemic (remember when everyone was having nightmares — a bunch of friends from college corroborated that)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's draining because there hasn't been a recovery, really. I sort of expected a year of misery and then there would be a treatment or a vaccine that actually works and we would be able to go back to normal en masse, maybe with some new values and lessons learned. Instead half the country went back to normal while the other half made it a religion to stay isolated. Families broke up over this. Friendships are over. Economically things are far worse than two years ago for most families. Companies have decided to get by with half the employees making everyone miserable. Schools are peddling depressing lessons to the kids. All I can do is make things nice in my little house. It's a lot of pressure to be upbeat...

I agree with much of this post. Vaccines DO work, exceptionally well at preventing serious illness. The problem is that some people think that’s not good enough, and so here we are.

The thought of indefinitely obsessing over cases and masking kids, all while being told school isn’t daycare and any decent parent would find this mess to be easy, is too much to bear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's draining because there hasn't been a recovery, really. I sort of expected a year of misery and then there would be a treatment or a vaccine that actually works and we would be able to go back to normal en masse, maybe with some new values and lessons learned. Instead half the country went back to normal while the other half made it a religion to stay isolated. Families broke up over this. Friendships are over. Economically things are far worse than two years ago for most families. Companies have decided to get by with half the employees making everyone miserable. Schools are peddling depressing lessons to the kids. All I can do is make things nice in my little house. It's a lot of pressure to be upbeat...

It’s this. If you go to a part of the country that isn’t as covid obsessed, everyone seems a lot happier and relaxed. Something is in the air in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The amount of angst cause by dishes and laundry is astounding. It doesn’t matter. In 10 years it won’t matter. Change the things you can and accept those you cannot. Focus on what matters and your life will improve 10 fold.

That $hit matters if you have a spouse: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288

Please. If you find a person that you love you have to make compromises. In the article the other spouse wasn’t willing to compromise either. This is just two people who couldn’t compromise over something so minute that they chose to break up. If you are willing to break up over clutter than you never would have made it through the big stuff anyway. We waste a lot of love and energy on the wrong things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because a sizeable chunk of us have kids under 5 and we are invisible and forgotten. No vaccine forthcoming, but the most stringent illness and quarantine requirements, still expected to work like nothing is different, and the rest of the world has largely moved on.

This 100%.

I am grateful for having young kids during the height of the pandemic and not having to deal with online schooling.....but two years in, our daycare kicks out kids with Covid for 10 days. And there was always a reasonable sick requirement....but now every slight fever or runny nose or cough (i.e. all winter long) and you are asked to stay home for 48 hours.

Not to mention covid exposure (false) scares and whole classrooms plus sibling classroom shut downs.

Agreed. Unless something changes with the quarantine rules, and covid exposure is treated the same as exposure to flu and RSV and HFM (we've never encountered classroom shutdowns for those, despite high levels of transmission), this is still rough on families with young children in daycare. But PP is right...it is almost as if some people have forgotten these kids and their families exist, and we should all just be back to normal by now.

Yes. We've been super lucky with few disruptions due to COVID exposures, but do struggle with the super strict illness policy (almost all symptoms require PCR+dr note to return, which takes time even if kid is better). I'm make it a point to say outloud when my kid is home sick with a minor runny nose, but I have to get a PCR, so I'm going to be out. But I can do that because I have a job that wont penalize me for it. My husband too.

And if I'm one of the only ones masking in a meeting, I tell people that me getting COVID would be a pretty big disruption in my childcare, and therefore my work, so I'd rather just mask in larger groups. (I think it is still a 10 day quarantine for me, then my kid's 10 days starts after my 10 days is up since they could have been exposed any time. OR I isolate from my husband/kids for 10 days and I guess her quarantine would also be just the 10 days. This is daycare policy, not necessarily CDC, the CDC probably doesn't spell it out so clearly, because why would they bother to cover this extremely common scenario for working families?)

I do think it is getting a little better for me since we've started doing stuff again and accepted <5 vaccines may be a long way out - but the burnout... I just can't get over it.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I also just wanted to add that almost everyone is stretched pretty thin, and almost everyone is pretty burned out.

So in the past, if a coworker had something come up, someone else could cover it. Now, something come up, but there is no one to help make sure the balls don't drop. Or even if someone is technically THERE, they don't have it in them to stick out their hand and help out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The amount of angst cause by dishes and laundry is astounding. It doesn’t matter. In 10 years it won’t matter. Change the things you can and accept those you cannot. Focus on what matters and your life will improve 10 fold.

But like, even if it doesn't matter in 10 years, do you suggest that people just let the laundry pile up and wear dirty clothes and put dishes in the sink until it is full... ???

I get what you are saying to a point, but it isn't actually a solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The amount of angst cause by dishes and laundry is astounding. It doesn’t matter. In 10 years it won’t matter. Change the things you can and accept those you cannot. Focus on what matters and your life will improve 10 fold.

But like, even if it doesn't matter in 10 years, do you suggest that people just let the laundry pile up and wear dirty clothes and put dishes in the sink until it is full... ???

I get what you are saying to a point, but it isn't actually a solution.

How about doing dishes after dinner and laundry on the weekend….like we did pre-pandemic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's draining because there hasn't been a recovery, really. I sort of expected a year of misery and then there would be a treatment or a vaccine that actually works and we would be able to go back to normal en masse, maybe with some new values and lessons learned. Instead half the country went back to normal while the other half made it a religion to stay isolated. Families broke up over this. Friendships are over. Economically things are far worse than two years ago for most families. Companies have decided to get by with half the employees making everyone miserable. Schools are peddling depressing lessons to the kids. All I can do is make things nice in my little house. It's a lot of pressure to be upbeat...

It’s this. If you go to a part of the country that isn’t as covid obsessed, everyone seems a lot happier and relaxed. Something is in the air in DC.

I don’t know, my child free friend in Florida say they need to escape from life too. The difference is they can have planned several trips to a new vacation property — but they have told me the day to day has been exhausting and they want some alone time away from work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The amount of angst cause by dishes and laundry is astounding. It doesn’t matter. In 10 years it won’t matter. Change the things you can and accept those you cannot. Focus on what matters and your life will improve 10 fold.

But like, even if it doesn't matter in 10 years, do you suggest that people just let the laundry pile up and wear dirty clothes and put dishes in the sink until it is full... ???

I get what you are saying to a point, but it isn't actually a solution.

How about doing dishes after dinner and laundry on the weekend….like we did pre-pandemic?

I do, but obviously the people who are struggling there don’t need to be told it doesn’t matter?