Myth busting - Having children doesn’t make you gain weight

[Anonymous]

I have two young adults now and lost my pregnancy weight within 1 month each time. I gained maybe 30 lbs with each pregnancy and it didn’t go anywhere else on my body. I breastfed and was very active with them but not on an exercise regimen until they were in school. I’ve been a size 0 or 2 all of my life. Some of that is genetic and some of that is because I workout a lot and eat healthfully most of the time.

[Anonymous]

You waited until your kids were out of the house to lose the baby weight??? Wow.

Yes, my weight was probably in the 130s during most of this time and I gained more during my kids teen years (major stress). I was not huge. (I also had an ED as a young adult and have been since reluctant to diet, especially with a daughter in the house).

I weighed 125 when I got pregnant at 25 and 115 now in my late 40s. My diet and fitness levels are better than they were when I was younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You waited until your kids were out of the house to lose the baby weight??? Wow.

Yes, my weight was probably in the 130s during most of this time and I gained more during my kids teen years (major stress). I was not huge. (I also had an ED as a young adult and have been since reluctant to diet, especially with a daughter in the house).

I weighed 125 when I got pregnant at 25 and 115 now in my late 40s. My diet and fitness levels are better than they were when I was younger.

I feel this. If I was without kids, could sleep on ever. I have a special needs child who at 9 STILL wakes once a night. Also they snack and eat crap and it’s in my face all day. My strategies before was not to buy so it’s never in the house. I’m certain I’ll be thinner as they get older. Baby weight of 10 lbs came off after third turned 5. Looking forward to to loose more if I ever have a special needs teen that sleeps.

[Anonymous]

Did you really come here to fat shame other moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see people here all the time saying it isn’t reasonable for “a woman with children” to have a certain goal weight. Studies actually show that child bearing itself doesn’t make you fat. Instead, it’s mostly life style factors stemming from parenting, such as not having time to work out and eat right. So if you have children and want to lose weight it is possible….if you have the time and energy to do it!


https://www.canberra.edu.au/about-uc/media/newsroom/2018/may/having-babies-doesnt-make-you-fat-uc-research

Pregnancy also can trigger lots of autoimmune and thyroid issues. Changes some womens risk for diabetes in their lifetime. For every person I have met who cant loose weight there is another who breastfed and all the weight fell off. Hopefully we can start to see some programs that provide time and energy back for women- maybe DeSantis can pass a bill to support moms instead of just dads

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yeah of course … why would child bearing in itself cause you to gain weight?

I have no idea but people post this here all the time. “Oh you’re a mom, you shouldn’t expect to go back to your pre pregnancy weight?” And it’s like…why not?

I say this as a mom to a five year old who has been at pre baby weight and measurements since my kid was 1.5.

People say that because they are being kind to a woman who feels bad about herself! Women, especially moms, have a lot more important things to do than worry about being 10 lbs overweight.

And as other people have noted, bodies change. It's more difficult to lose as you age, and with subsequent pregnancies. Having an experience of one kid isn't much to base an entire opinion on the ease or difficulty of post partum weight loss

I linked to a study in my original post…

DP - you can find a study for almost anything. Your study doesn't prove that it's universal. Your study was limited to Australia.

Where they have GENEROUS social support for new moms might I add.

[Anonymous]

I have for some time felt that the main reason women struggle to return to their pre-pregnancy weight is that many women are dieting and over-exercising to maintain a level of thinness that is not particularly healthy for them.

If you diet/exercise down to a size 4, when you are really naturally somewhere between a 6 and 10, and then have a couple kids, yes of course it will be very hard to get back down to a size 4 because now you have less time and more stress in your life. But if you'd just get comfortable with your perfectly healthy size 8, then I don't think it would seem so challenging to return to that healthy weight post-kids.

I also think this is sometimes exacerbated in women who have kids in their late 30s or early 40s (as many women in the DC area do) whose healthy weight might tick up a bit at this age based on the way weight redistributes as you age. Maybe in your 20s and early 30s you were a natural size 6 who dieted down to a size 2. And then you have a kid at 36 and another at 39, and your healthiest weight has become a size 8. But in your head, you're a size 2. It's just that you were never really a size 2.

Also, no matter your size, pregnancy makes some parts of your body softer, wider, and looser. And the older you are when you have kids, the more true this is. Maybe if I'd had my babies in my early 20s, I wouldn't have this little pregnancy pouch on my tummy. But I had them in my late 30s, so I do, and it's never going away without surgery. I have returned to my pre-pregnancy weight (I was back there by 6 weeks postpartum after both pregnancies) but that doesn't change the fact that I have this little belly, or my ribs and hips are both a bit wider. Those are permanent changes that do impact how many of my clothes fit.

But I didn't diet at all and didn't exercise excessively pre-pregnancy, and as a result, returning to my normal eating habits and very manageable exercise habits post-pregnancy was enough to get me back where I was. And this was despite having PPD and a pregnancy injury that required two different stints in PT to address and still bothers me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I travelled for 3 weeks without my children and lost weight without even trying. I came back home, and I gained it all back. Why? At home I have to be in the kitchen several times a day even when I am not hungry. I have to give them something to eat. I have to make their lunch even when it's not time for me to eat.

When I don't have children to feed, I only look for food twice a day. With kids, I have to go to the kitchen 3 times a day, and I have to stay longer there(more cooking, cleaning up etc). I end up eating much more food.

So having children makes me gain weight. I was never overweight before I had them.

Once my children are old enough to heat up, serve their meals and clean up after themselves, I will lose the weight without any effort.

+1. Without kids, I buy no carbs and eat strictly protein/low carb veg, and I eat OMAD. Without kids, I live in a neighborhood where I rarely use a car and walk everywhere. With kids, I am in the car driving around for 2 hours a day.

[Anonymous]

Kids may not make you heavier but stress and lack of sleep will!

I think men make you gain weight. I have always been very thin when I didn't have a man. Men think this because you're on the make, and that may be true also. But the real reason is, you aren't dining out with a man, drinking cocktails with a man, making breakfast with him, making him dinners. The dinners maybe be special (dating) or just routine (married). When single I barely ate dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah of course … why would child bearing in itself cause you to gain weight?

I have no idea but people post this here all the time. “Oh you’re a mom, you shouldn’t expect to go back to your pre pregnancy weight?” And it’s like…why not?

I say this as a mom to a five year old who has been at pre baby weight and measurements since my kid was 1.5.

Wow.

Good for you. 😳

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids may not make you heavier but stress and lack of sleep will!

I think men make you gain weight. I have always been very thin when I didn't have a man. Men think this because you're on the make, and that may be true also. But the real reason is, you aren't dining out with a man, drinking cocktails with a man, making breakfast with him, making him dinners. The dinners maybe be special (dating) or just routine (married). When single I barely ate dinner.

No one can make you gain weight! Why are you changing all of your habits and behaviors for a man anyway? Do you think if you don’t drink and eat to keep up with him, he won’t like you? Then he’s not worth it anyway.

Stress and lack of sleep make me lose weight. Stress in particular kills my appetite. “Fat and happy” holds true for me— when I am low stress and feeling good, I’m 10 lbs heavier than when I’m not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two young adults now and lost my pregnancy weight within 1 month each time. I gained maybe 30 lbs with each pregnancy and it didn’t go anywhere else on my body. I breastfed and was very active with them but not on an exercise regimen until they were in school. I’ve been a size 0 or 2 all of my life. Some of that is genetic and some of that is because I workout a lot and eat healthfully most of the time.

Healthily.

[Anonymous]

It is often true that your measurements won’t be the same no matter how much weight you lose. For a lot of women hips change shape permanently. I have a few friends whose rib cages were permanently a little wider. And that’s not counting changes to your belly or boobs. For some those body parts will never look the same without surgery. So you can lose all the weight but still be different.

But also our society makes it incredibly difficult to be a parent so it makes sense that parents in general gain weight.

[Anonymous]

A lot depends on your age and state of health/lifestyle and habits before having kids.

I have seen countless friends that were “naturally thin” before kids in their 20s, but that didn’t pay any attention to heathy eating or have an exercise regimen. These women are all overweight now post kids into our late 30s/early 40s

The ones that were intentionally thin/athletic and put effort into heathy eating and physical fitness are all still heathy weight and fit after kids.

Now with so many young adults already overweight before even having kids, yes pregnancy and childbirth is only going to drive the nail in the coffin for a lifetime of obesity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had twins and while I lost the weight, my stomach will never be the same.

I had 3 kids but after the middle one at 9 lb 6 oz kid at 22.5 inches and my stomach will never be the same either.

Yep. My first was a ten pounder, 23 inches long and due to a tumor I didn’t know I had, he was mostly on one side of my abdomen. I have a lopsided, stretch marked stomach that’s not going to be fixed without surgery. I’m so glad that women like OP who have standard issue pregnancies know everything.

Not enough eye roll emojis for the likes of OP.