Myth busting - Having children doesn’t make you gain weight

[Anonymous]

Wow. F off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had twins and while I lost the weight, my stomach will never be the same.

I had 3 kids but after the middle one at 9 lb 6 oz kid at 22.5 inches and my stomach will never be the same either.

Yep. My first was a ten pounder, 23 inches long and due to a tumor I didn’t know I had, he was mostly on one side of my abdomen. I have a lopsided, stretch marked stomach that’s not going to be fixed without surgery. I’m so glad that women like OP who have standard issue pregnancies know everything.

Not enough eye roll emojis for the likes of OP.

Lol no one is saying pregnancy doesn’t change your body. The point is if you want to lose weight and do the same thing a woman who doesn’t have children does, you can lose weight. Even though you’ve had children.

Some of you are so defensive and there’s just no reason. If you are happy with an extra 10, 20, 30 pounds that is great. But if you actually want to lose weight there isn’t anything preventing you from doing it.

I think you are just misunderstanding what “everyone” is saying. First, there are some women who come on here 2 weeks postpartum and wonder why they don’t have their pre-pregnancy body yet. In that case, it’s true they cannot expect to have the same body, for biological reasons. But when people tell a mom of a 5 and 2 yo she can’t expect to have a pre-pregnancy body, they’re talking about lifestyle. Sure, I guess you CAN be a mom and eat different meals from your family and workout an hour a day, but it’s really difficult and an unreasonable ask of most women. So I don’t see why you feel the need to go around telling women they can lose weight if they tried harder. Why is this so important to you? Is that your main source of identity and self esteem - that your body is the same as before kids??

I just think it is sad when someone wants to get healthy and more fit and people are like “you’re a mom, you can’t! Just accept those extra 20 pounds” when it doesn’t have to be that way. I also don’t think most people would need to work out an hour a day and eat different meals than they family to be fit and healthy. That’s completely unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had twins and while I lost the weight, my stomach will never be the same.

I had 3 kids but after the middle one at 9 lb 6 oz kid at 22.5 inches and my stomach will never be the same either.

Yep. My first was a ten pounder, 23 inches long and due to a tumor I didn’t know I had, he was mostly on one side of my abdomen. I have a lopsided, stretch marked stomach that’s not going to be fixed without surgery. I’m so glad that women like OP who have standard issue pregnancies know everything.

Not enough eye roll emojis for the likes of OP.

Lol no one is saying pregnancy doesn’t change your body. The point is if you want to lose weight and do the same thing a woman who doesn’t have children does, you can lose weight. Even though you’ve had children.

Some of you are so defensive and there’s just no reason. If you are happy with an extra 10, 20, 30 pounds that is great. But if you actually want to lose weight there isn’t anything preventing you from doing it.

I think you are just misunderstanding what “everyone” is saying. First, there are some women who come on here 2 weeks postpartum and wonder why they don’t have their pre-pregnancy body yet. In that case, it’s true they cannot expect to have the same body, for biological reasons. But when people tell a mom of a 5 and 2 yo she can’t expect to have a pre-pregnancy body, they’re talking about lifestyle. Sure, I guess you CAN be a mom and eat different meals from your family and workout an hour a day, but it’s really difficult and an unreasonable ask of most women. So I don’t see why you feel the need to go around telling women they can lose weight if they tried harder. Why is this so important to you? Is that your main source of identity and self esteem - that your body is the same as before kids??

I just think it is sad when someone wants to get healthy and more fit and people are like “you’re a mom, you can’t! Just accept those extra 20 pounds” when it doesn’t have to be that way. I also don’t think most people would need to work out an hour a day and eat different meals than they family to be fit and healthy. That’s completely unreasonable.

Why are you so sad about someone else’s extra 20 lbs??? For the majority of these women, the extra 20 lbs really has almost no effect on their health, especially if they were thin before kids. The reason they want to lose 20 lbs is that society thinks they are fat. That’s it. That’s the only reason. So judgmental people like you coming along saying “20 lbs is sad” is really just a 100% negative energy you’re putting out into the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had twins and while I lost the weight, my stomach will never be the same.

I had 3 kids but after the middle one at 9 lb 6 oz kid at 22.5 inches and my stomach will never be the same either.

Yep. My first was a ten pounder, 23 inches long and due to a tumor I didn’t know I had, he was mostly on one side of my abdomen. I have a lopsided, stretch marked stomach that’s not going to be fixed without surgery. I’m so glad that women like OP who have standard issue pregnancies know everything.

Not enough eye roll emojis for the likes of OP.

Lol no one is saying pregnancy doesn’t change your body. The point is if you want to lose weight and do the same thing a woman who doesn’t have children does, you can lose weight. Even though you’ve had children.

Some of you are so defensive and there’s just no reason. If you are happy with an extra 10, 20, 30 pounds that is great. But if you actually want to lose weight there isn’t anything preventing you from doing it.

Wait so I totally misread your OP and you didn't say there: "it’s mostly life style factors stemming from parenting, such as not having time to work out and eat right"? A quote which seems to acknowledge that (1) there are actually factors related to having children that make losing weight difficult and (2) it doesn't actually hold true for everyone (only "mostly" lifestyle factors). So what you really mean is "Myth Busting - Having children doesn't make you gain weight if you're genetically lucky (parenting quite likely does make you gain weight but I'll judge you for it)" and that sounds less like a myth and kind of like what all of us expected.

[Anonymous]

I knew child bearing didn't make me gain, on my last kid. After he was born, I only went higher and higher on my weight. After a year, there was no way I could blame it on pregnancy.

NOW, the pregnancy did:
-cause me to lose some ground on workouts.
-include nausea, tiredness, more weight, everything that works against you when you're trying to work out and eat better
-give me a c-section which was further weeks of hobbling around
-strain my body--joints, organs, iron

The newborn and other young kids messed with my sleep, my free time, so yes, I continued to gain and not lose after the pregnancy was over.

But, when friends had babies after me and lost, and I kept going up, it wasn't the pregnancy to blame anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew child bearing didn't make me gain, on my last kid. After he was born, I only went higher and higher on my weight. After a year, there was no way I could blame it on pregnancy.

NOW, the pregnancy did:
-cause me to lose some ground on workouts.
-include nausea, tiredness, more weight, everything that works against you when you're trying to work out and eat better
-give me a c-section which was further weeks of hobbling around
-strain my body--joints, organs, iron

The newborn and other young kids messed with my sleep, my free time, so yes, I continued to gain and not lose after the pregnancy was over.

But, when friends had babies after me and lost, and I kept going up, it wasn't the pregnancy to blame anymore.

The difference between them and me:
-they didn't have c-sections
-they had built in family and reasons to make free time for themselves. Various aspects of my life lead to a lot of (sometimes necessary, sometimes unnecessary self-sacrifice).
-more self-esteem and direction built-in, sort of an off shoot of the above. I took a couple years of floundering to figure out more of what I wanted to do with my life and time, besides just raising kids.
-I think they have more money than I do

[Anonymous]

Calories and exercise matter but let's stop saying that some women have a tougher time losing weight than others.

We all know women who bounced right back after having babies while eating McDonalds and other junk food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Calories and exercise matter but let's stop saying that some women have a tougher time losing weight than others.

We all know women who bounced right back after having babies while eating McDonalds and other junk food.

Scratch that. My brain stopped working. What I meant was let's not say that some women don't have a tougher time losing weight than others.

[Anonymous]

The stress of kids makes you gain weight. It cuts into sleep and workout routines.

[Anonymous]

Sleep and weight loss: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22357722/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I travelled for 3 weeks without my children and lost weight without even trying. I came back home, and I gained it all back. Why? At home I have to be in the kitchen several times a day even when I am not hungry. I have to give them something to eat. I have to make their lunch even when it's not time for me to eat.

When I don't have children to feed, I only look for food twice a day. With kids, I have to go to the kitchen 3 times a day, and I have to stay longer there(more cooking, cleaning up etc). I end up eating much more food.

So having children makes me gain weight. I was never overweight before I had them.

Once my children are old enough to heat up, serve their meals and clean up after themselves, I will lose the weight without any effort.

This is so true!! The structured meals kids need definitely don't help. I also like to eat family meals and as they get older they notice if I'm not eating or eating less or something different which I don't love either, don't want anyone developing food issues. I lose weight on holidays too, not sure if it's accessibility of food, extra sleep, or extra movement.