Busy as a mark of superiority

[Anonymous]

I find I am busier as a SAHM than I was when I was working. I have a very high energy child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like pps mentioned, they're probably scrolling social media even if too "busy" for books/TV.

Well sure, some people have a quick few minutes to catch up on instagram in between kid chores and laundry, but not a whole chunk of time to watch Love is Blind.

Ok here I'll throw in another weapon we throw at one another to respond to this. My husband does the laundry so I have time to watch LIB, why did you marry someone useless?

Does that accomplish anything? No. But neither did you by acting like people who manage to watch a crappy show don't do chores.

DP here. I fold laundry while watching tv.

I felt busy as a working mom of 2 as well as now a SAHM of 3. Maybe it was because I was younger or I had only 2 kids but I felt working mom of 2 was easier than staying home.

[Anonymous]

Pp again. When I was the working mom of 2, I always felt like I was barely surviving but the years flew by super fast, too fast. I went to work, then i had to feed the kids, bathe them and put them to bed. Now my days are long and exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,

I am a very busy moms. I have two kids and a very demanding job. I frequently complain about being exhausted or not having the time or the energy to watch a show or to read a book. I do not consider it a mark of superiority, it's the opposite. I wish I had more time for the kids. I wish I had a more relaxing life, but that's not where my career took me. Granted I could change things, but I am the breadwinner in our family and changes are hard.

Enjoy you baby! Try to not be bothered by others. You will find mom friends with whom you click. It may not be those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I am a very busy moms. I have two kids and a very demanding job. I frequently complain about being exhausted or not having the time or the energy to watch a show or to read a book. I do not consider it a mark of superiority, it's the opposite. I wish I had more time for the kids. I wish I had a more relaxing life, but that's not where my career took me. Granted I could change things, but I am the breadwinner in our family and changes are hard.

Enjoy you baby! Try to not be bothered by others. You will find mom friends with whom you click. It may not be those.

Sorry about all the typos. I am so busy, I didn't even have time to proofread

[Anonymous]

I used to have time for 2 hours of tv every night even with 3 kids. Then my middle child’s sleep went to absolutely hell with night terrors all night and my baby hit a sleep regression and is starting the day by 530 at the latest, so now I’m in bed by like 830every night as soon as I’m done with my chores. I might turn on a show for an hour but I’m too zoned out to actually watch it.


My life is not superior - it is total shit. But yes I’m exhausted and busy and don’t currently have the time or energy for tv.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP…how naive you sound.

Yes they shouldn’t sound like martyrs but you have cleaning help daycare a spouse and a healthy one year old. I get how you have all this time. They’re not competing they’re complaining and lamenting because it sucks and I too miss Netflix and chill.

But the fact you triggered you says something about you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP…how naive you sound.

Yes they shouldn’t sound like martyrs but you have cleaning help daycare a spouse and a healthy one year old. I get how you have all this time. They’re not competing they’re complaining and lamenting because it sucks and I too miss Netflix and chill.

But the fact you triggered you says something about you

Infants also sleep very early. Kids go to bed later as they age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP…how naive you sound.

Yes they shouldn’t sound like martyrs but you have cleaning help daycare a spouse and a healthy one year old. I get how you have all this time. They’re not competing they’re complaining and lamenting because it sucks and I too miss Netflix and chill.

But the fact you triggered you says something about you

Infants also sleep very early. Kids go to bed later as they age.

Yeah, I have an 8 y/o and a toddler - 8 y/o goes to bed on weeknights at close to 9. I typically have an hour's worth of household/kid-related/finish-something-up-for-work tasks. Bedtime for me is 11 (I need a good night's sleep) so I have like one hour on weeknights for me time. I use it to read (personal preference), so like those moms, I truly haven't watched much TV in years. That being said -- I'm not complaining in the least. I like my level of busy. . . I'm well-rested, not stressed or frazzled, DH is a helpful partner, and I outsource the perfect amount for me.

[Anonymous]

I watch tv with my oldest. Network comedies mostly, but it’s still relaxing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom who would not be able to talk about much in the way of TV or books. And not because I’m a martyr for busyness. I have hours of free time daily.

1) When my kid was an infant/toddler, I didn’t have the attention span to read novels. While I am back to reading, I often don’t read the book of the month or Oprah book or whatever and other people are not interested in talking about a book they haven’t or won’t read.
2) When the pandemic hit, I rewatched old series for comfort—Golden Girls, Cheers, Roseanne. Stuff like that. I didn’t have the capacity for new TV.
3) Too much TV agitates me, especially action or noisy shows. My kid watches TV in the afternoon, and I want nothing more than to turn it off and have something quiet to do when he’s in bed.
4) DH and I watch something together on Saturday nights, but usually way after it’s been out for a while and others have moved on to something else.
5) I have terrible memory for detail, so even if I finished a show or book I loved, I’d be the one saying, “the guy who wrote it was at Breadloaf I think? Or maybe won a Pushcart a while back? The guy with the glasses?” Just not a fun conversation to have.

So my default is, “oh, I’m so not up on books and TV!” Believe me, it’s not because I think I’m too busy or too highbrow.

Why do people on here blather on about their boring lives when it has nothing to do with the OP? The OP’s friends specifically said they are too busy for TV and books. No relation to whatever dull situation you’ve got going on.

1) Consider why you need to be so rude to a stranger online. Meditate on it. Something is lacking in your life and I hope you find it.
2) Learn to make inferences. My whole post was about how I would say *exactly* the same thing the OP said her friends were "going on and on" about (e.g., "wow, the last time I finished a new series was 3 years ago!"), even though the reason for that has NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING BUSY, the "busy Olympics," or whatever the OP thinks the friends are trying to do/say. My post was suggesting to OP that she consider whether they are reading too much into what the friends were saying.
3) What did you add to the discussion other than the thrill of judging someone you don't know. If you don't want to read me "blather on about [my] boring [life]" or read about "whatever dull situation [I've] got going on," then scroll on past. This is a discussion board, and you haven't added anything to the conversation.

Did you really have to write another novel? Get a life, you’re so tiresome. And no, your post had nothing to do with the OP’s situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I get what you are talking about. My DD is 10 now. I can only think of 1 working mom who ever played the I'm-THE-busiest-mom-ever game. It's usually a stay at home mom thing, but only the fragile ego, narcisstic ones. I've also noticed the I-work-so-much-harder-than-you-despite-being-unemployed moms also tend to get defensive and snippy about lots of other things. At this point, when I hear this speak from those ladies, I run. Red flag red flag take cover! I want mom buddies who lift me up, not seek to step on me.

Way to go! I’m a SAHM and have never claimed to be busy to anyone, even when I was taking my DC for the therapies for a lifelong SN. Instead, I’ve gotten to field many, many comments about how busy other moms are, comments about how “they wish” they could look up recipes and cook from scratch or exercise, immediately after directly asking me what I’m making for dinner or that I look good, am I working out? Must be nice! I’ve smiled past a lot of nasty, so I know your type. It’s fun being “unemployed,” I guess every person in any form of childcare is about to be mega-screwed when they try to file in a week.

You don’t actually know what other people are going through and I’m so goddamned sick of the SAHM bashing, as much as I’m sick of the overall mom bashing and competitiveness. It’s so shitty. I have never made that kind of comment, here or offline. Why do it?

You really think you’re someone who lifts people up. But you aren’t.

Yikes. You seem sort of like the type.

I said it's a certain subset of SAHM's. Not all of them.

The type with DC with SNs who keep all of that private? I see.

You’re a f#cked up, very nasty person. Yikes back atcha.

My kids been to OT, PT, BT, ST, neuropsych, surgeries, . . . we've had 27 appointments in one month. With me working fulltime. Look, I get that kids with SN are energy zapping. You definitely get sympathy points there. But I'm not the nasty aggressor here.

Sure, Jan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP— if your friends are busy and you’re not, have you offered to help them? Sometimes kindness is better than judgment.

Did you read the thread? Their extreme “busyness” is for weird bragging rights and often largely self-imposed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I meet someone who is super busy, I assume they are not very good at managing their life. They are either overcommitted or addicted to urgency. Busy people are the least successful, in my experience.

Idle hands are the devil's workshop

Thanks for your contribution, MeeMaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom who would not be able to talk about much in the way of TV or books. And not because I’m a martyr for busyness. I have hours of free time daily.

1) When my kid was an infant/toddler, I didn’t have the attention span to read novels. While I am back to reading, I often don’t read the book of the month or Oprah book or whatever and other people are not interested in talking about a book they haven’t or won’t read.
2) When the pandemic hit, I rewatched old series for comfort—Golden Girls, Cheers, Roseanne. Stuff like that. I didn’t have the capacity for new TV.
3) Too much TV agitates me, especially action or noisy shows. My kid watches TV in the afternoon, and I want nothing more than to turn it off and have something quiet to do when he’s in bed.
4) DH and I watch something together on Saturday nights, but usually way after it’s been out for a while and others have moved on to something else.
5) I have terrible memory for detail, so even if I finished a show or book I loved, I’d be the one saying, “the guy who wrote it was at Breadloaf I think? Or maybe won a Pushcart a while back? The guy with the glasses?” Just not a fun conversation to have.

So my default is, “oh, I’m so not up on books and TV!” Believe me, it’s not because I think I’m too busy or too highbrow.

Why do people on here blather on about their boring lives when it has nothing to do with the OP? The OP’s friends specifically said they are too busy for TV and books. No relation to whatever dull situation you’ve got going on.

She wanted to namecheck Breadloaf and Pushcart so you’d know she’s literary. That whole post is a tired humblebrag about being too tired and busy for TV and is what OP is talking about only worse because “Pushcart.”

PP: I read Pushcart winners AND have no trouble carrying on a conversation about TV, even TV, I haven’t seen, because I’m not a tiresome bore. This is not about your personal media habits, it’s about having social skills. Try it!

Way to miss the point. Try having social skills yourself!

What a brilliant comeback. And a childish emoji to boot. Wow, you’re so cool and learned.