How many people in your social group had family support in buying a house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s only one form of estate planning and you wouldn’t be offered nor would you take the money if you could pay for that stuff yourself. You’re getting it because it’s understood you’re not going to get there on your own.

I don't understand this logic at all. What do you think older wealthy people do with their money? Give it all to the circus?

In my family only the siblings who didn’t have high incomes got money for houses. My share will go to my kids. I will not get anything because my spouse and I are millionaires many times over. Yes, I had some help with education but I also paid for my own graduate school.

Most families I know are always even on splitting the money between siblings.

[Anonymous]

We are a successful dual professional couple and so are our friends. We are also adults so we pay for our own homes and don’t need our parents to buy them for us.

[Anonymous]

I replied above, but I'm also remembering that my friends who were buying in the early 2000s were putting very little down, so money for a downpayment wasn't as much of a thing (not that that turned out well for people).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my mid-30s and grew up UMC. Most of my social circle from childhood/adolescence had their college and downpayment paid for by parents or grandparents (or a combination). Yes, it is a form of wealth transfer and extreme privilege.

To answer the 'how would you know this' question, it becomes pretty apparent when most of your friends are buying houses immediately after graduation or houses that are worth well beyond 4-5x the ballpark of what the person is making. Some talk about it openly, because it is pretty normal among our friends. We know of a few families where kids were given different amounts and it caused drama, so we heard about it there. Others have brought it up while weighing the decision to have a smaller PITI/larger amount down vs. buying more house.

For the "we like to spend our time with adults" person, I fail to understand what you think an 'adult' would do if offered money towards their home purchase. Turn it down? Suffer to prove a point? For plenty of families this is a form of estate-planning, and the 'adult' thing is to maximize the families' financial situation.

It’s only one form of estate planning and you wouldn’t be offered nor would you take the money if you could pay for that stuff yourself. You’re getting it because it’s understood you’re not going to get there on your own.

You're delusional. The thing about families that can afford this kind of help is their kids are also more likely to end up in high-earning careers because of all the ways privilege sets them up for it. Look at the average HHI of the families who produce medical students. The 'kids' would buy a nice house on their own eventually, but their parents have more money than they need and that money is more useful to their children while buying a home and having their own kids than 20-30 years later when the kids' careers are established.

The money is flowing to the same destination eventually either way, but congrats on your high horse and making the poor financial decision to turn down free money if offered it!

[Anonymous]

Some, I suppose. A few come from incredibly wealthy families, so I am sure they received help. Not sure about others.

For my part, I received a $10,000 loan from my parents to help with a down payment. I paid it back in less than 2 years (by prior arrangement with my parents) by forwarding the rent I received from my roommate directly to them. 20 years later, that small co-op was leveraged into a larger condo, which was leveraged into a SFH. Not exactly the Rockefeller family plunking down a $200k down payment, but definitely helped me get on the property ladder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my mid-30s and grew up UMC. Most of my social circle from childhood/adolescence had their college and downpayment paid for by parents or grandparents (or a combination). Yes, it is a form of wealth transfer and extreme privilege.

To answer the 'how would you know this' question, it becomes pretty apparent when most of your friends are buying houses immediately after graduation or houses that are worth well beyond 4-5x the ballpark of what the person is making. Some talk about it openly, because it is pretty normal among our friends. We know of a few families where kids were given different amounts and it caused drama, so we heard about it there. Others have brought it up while weighing the decision to have a smaller PITI/larger amount down vs. buying more house.

For the "we like to spend our time with adults" person, I fail to understand what you think an 'adult' would do if offered money towards their home purchase. Turn it down? Suffer to prove a point? For plenty of families this is a form of estate-planning, and the 'adult' thing is to maximize the families' financial situation.

It’s only one form of estate planning and you wouldn’t be offered nor would you take the money if you could pay for that stuff yourself. You’re getting it because it’s understood you’re not going to get there on your own.

You're delusional. The thing about families that can afford this kind of help is their kids are also more likely to end up in high-earning careers because of all the ways privilege sets them up for it. Look at the average HHI of the families who produce medical students. The 'kids' would buy a nice house on their own eventually, but their parents have more money than they need and that money is more useful to their children while buying a home and having their own kids than 20-30 years later when the kids' careers are established.

The money is flowing to the same destination eventually either way, but congrats on your high horse and making the poor financial decision to turn down free money if offered it!

Wow that hit a nerve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot more than will admit.

+1 this. All you "no one I know" votes would be surprised if this was shared more openly.

I would say about 2/3 but again, lots of people aren't sharing this or as someone else argued, college help counts indirectly though I would argue is a separate question.

You are deluded... 2/3rds? Are you aware the median household net worth in the US is $121K? For households led by people in their 60s, it is $212K. 2/3rds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a successful dual professional couple and so are our friends. We are also adults so we pay for our own homes and don’t need our parents to buy them for us.

There's that weird judgement and moralizing again

[Anonymous]

Only us that I know of. Before we got married, my DH got a 100k inheritance from his grandfather. That was our downpayment and emergency fund when we bought 12 years ago. We bought a modest TH and are still in it....kinda missed the boat to upgrade at a reasonable cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my mid-30s and grew up UMC. Most of my social circle from childhood/adolescence had their college and downpayment paid for by parents or grandparents (or a combination). Yes, it is a form of wealth transfer and extreme privilege.

To answer the 'how would you know this' question, it becomes pretty apparent when most of your friends are buying houses immediately after graduation or houses that are worth well beyond 4-5x the ballpark of what the person is making. Some talk about it openly, because it is pretty normal among our friends. We know of a few families where kids were given different amounts and it caused drama, so we heard about it there. Others have brought it up while weighing the decision to have a smaller PITI/larger amount down vs. buying more house.

For the "we like to spend our time with adults" person, I fail to understand what you think an 'adult' would do if offered money towards their home purchase. Turn it down? Suffer to prove a point? For plenty of families this is a form of estate-planning, and the 'adult' thing is to maximize the families' financial situation.

It’s only one form of estate planning and you wouldn’t be offered nor would you take the money if you could pay for that stuff yourself. You’re getting it because it’s understood you’re not going to get there on your own.

You're delusional. The thing about families that can afford this kind of help is their kids are also more likely to end up in high-earning careers because of all the ways privilege sets them up for it. Look at the average HHI of the families who produce medical students. The 'kids' would buy a nice house on their own eventually, but their parents have more money than they need and that money is more useful to their children while buying a home and having their own kids than 20-30 years later when the kids' careers are established.

The money is flowing to the same destination eventually either way, but congrats on your high horse and making the poor financial decision to turn down free money if offered it!

DP. Does anyone go to medical school anymore to make money? Genuinely curious.

[Anonymous]

As far as I know, just one person. We don’t ask this kind of stuff. It doesn’t affect me and it’s not my business. I just try and worry about myself!

[Anonymous]

My DH got about $20K in help buying his first condo 20 years ago. The profit off that helped us buy a starter home in Shaw 15 years ago. Appreciation on that helped up buy our home in the burbs. So that $20K led to hundreds of thousands in tax free profit.

I also have friends with major trust funds whose entire existence is subsidized.

[Anonymous]

Yet another reason wealth needs to be taxed and not income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yet another reason wealth needs to be taxed and not income.

Do you think we should eradicate intergenerational wealth transfers altogether? or just put a cap on them or what?

[Anonymous]

Half. But in a twist, the nicer/more expensive the house, the less parental help.