The divide gets bigger as you get older...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, have known this all along. As a first generation American choosing a career without high earning potential was not even an option. We are both in health care and have a very comfortable life due to the direction and guidance that was provided to us early on.

Gen X here who “followed their passion and money will follow”. Still waiting on the money.

My parents were here before the mayflower, but since we came from below deck there wasn’t much money and even less wisdom on how to earn it. They prioritized education, but that was the end goal: going to college. The assumption was after that money would be easy. That’s just the first step sadly.

1. You got bad advice.

2. That's not how the Mayflower was divided. You do know that the people came for religious reasons, rather than economic ones, right?

[Anonymous]

I think it simply becomes harder to HIDE that you haven’t saved or accumulated any money.

The first big shift is couples buying their first home. Then it’s upgrading to a nicer home. Later, it’s when you can retire.

I have a number of friends who continue to rent a fancy lifestyle. They may have high earnings but can’t save any or much. Still don’t own a home. We make less but bought a while ago and have since upgraded. It is becoming more and move obvious that certain couples haven’t saved any money especially if they can’t even buy a house or apartment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I reject Ivy leaguers from jobs all day. My favorite hires are usually state school honors program kids. Bright, realistic, and hungry!

+1
I'd take a bright humble person all day long. Many ivy kids have huge egos, a chip on their shoulder, and a sense of entitlement that really grates on my humble Midwestern roots. But being Midwestern, I smile, thank them for the interview, and fill the position with someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it simply becomes harder to HIDE that you haven’t saved or accumulated any money.

The first big shift is couples buying their first home. Then it’s upgrading to a nicer home. Later, it’s when you can retire.

I have a number of friends who continue to rent a fancy lifestyle. They may have high earnings but can’t save any or much. Still don’t own a home. We make less but bought a while ago and have since upgraded. It is becoming more and move obvious that certain couples haven’t saved any money especially if they can’t even buy a house or apartment.

I know the type of friends you're talking about - as I have that type in NYC - renting the 5-7k/mo apartment and thus not saving much or at all despite high salaries but when they consider buying, given the down payments they have saved despite high salaries they'd have to buy "regular" apartments - built in the 80s, shared laundry etc. even though they're doormen buildings in a good part of town and then it's ew I'm not buying THAT, have you seen the views from my luxury apartment and my all granite kitchen? I get it but then the cycle continues and equity doesn't get built at all.

Outside of NYC though IDK maybe it's just because I know fewer people here [moved here only five years ago], somehow I don't assume that people who haven't bought can't afford it. I mean maybe they can't but it doesn't seem like renting a fancy life is THAT expensive here. I always assume they aren't buying and just investing a ton maybe to buy someplace else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet DCUM denigrates the pre professional schools at Penn Georgetown Northeastern in favor of SLACs. It’s all daisies and unicorns to be so idealist in when you are young, until you are 35 and your peers are making 3-5x more than you do….. this is exactly why I told my DC to pursue CS or Business. Let someone else try to save the world, the trees and the whales. In the real world, living real life, with two kids and a mortgage, It’s about making money.

And yet I'm still advising my kids to look at SLACs. When they save the world, you'll know who to thank.

How many graduates have SLACs produced over the past centuries, yet exactly zero of them have saved the world. It remains unsaved to this day. Think about it.

The idea that someone from Swarthmore (or any other SLAC) is going to save the world, is just laughable. They can save your place in line at a local film festival, or save you from making a grammatical error, but that's about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as you're happy and have a fulfilling career, so what?

That's exactly what I thought at 25, but I didn't realize how much of a difference income makes on every area of your life. Where you can live, where your kids go to school, when or if you can ever retire, if you can travel, if you can afford certain types of healthcare, how you live, the security you feel, the security you can offer your family (parents or children), etc.

It never ends.

I have a hard time understanding how you couldn't see this in your 20s or before, tbh. I have understood this since childhood and is why I chose the career path I did (biglaw). Did you grow up in a very economically homogeneous community? I was a middle class kid at a fancy boarding school so the differences were very apparent to me. Of course it's different if you truly have a passion, but most people don't (or don't have one that is possible to turn into a career).

I sure as hell didn't know any boarding school kids. I grew up thinking $100k was an INCREDIBLE salary, because the richest kid I knew had a dad that made that. So yeah, kind of. I honestly had no perspective at all on this stuff. I was a decade into my career when I learned what a Big Law salary was because I had never met anyone in that career before, at least not well enough to ask their salary.

For me it was like, I was in a nonprofit job making $65k and my law school friends were broke and my friends who went into tech we're making $80k. The differences were there but felt marginal. I do sometimes still feel shell shocked when I hear what other people make in their careers.

Completely agree with this. I grew up in a small town. I had no idea that there were lawyers that made $1 million a year. There Certainly weren’t any in my small town

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as you're happy and have a fulfilling career, so what?

That's exactly what I thought at 25, but I didn't realize how much of a difference income makes on every area of your life. Where you can live, where your kids go to school, when or if you can ever retire, if you can travel, if you can afford certain types of healthcare, how you live, the security you feel, the security you can offer your family (parents or children), etc.

It never ends.

My best friend from college and I both got advanced degrees the same year, she went to a top MBA program and I went to a top public policy school. Fast forward over 20 years and she has a luxurious vacation home, huge savings, multiple kids in private school, and lots of luxuries. I’m doing fine as a GS-15 but our paths diverged a little and then a lot.

Major life decisions and accomplishments that look subtle compound overtime.

I think the difference between you, me (a Harvard Kennedy School grad), and OP, is we turned our idealism into stable, secure jobs at acceptable incomes. There’s a huge difference between a GS-15 and a nonprofit job that pays $68k.

I’m also assuming OP isn’t married, so she’s exclusively living off her low wages and feeling the pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as you're happy and have a fulfilling career, so what?

That's exactly what I thought at 25, but I didn't realize how much of a difference income makes on every area of your life. Where you can live, where your kids go to school, when or if you can ever retire, if you can travel, if you can afford certain types of healthcare, how you live, the security you feel, the security you can offer your family (parents or children), etc.

It never ends.

I have a hard time understanding how you couldn't see this in your 20s or before, tbh. I have understood this since childhood and is why I chose the career path I did (biglaw). Did you grow up in a very economically homogeneous community? I was a middle class kid at a fancy boarding school so the differences were very apparent to me. Of course it's different if you truly have a passion, but most people don't (or don't have one that is possible to turn into a career).

I sure as hell didn't know any boarding school kids. I grew up thinking $100k was an INCREDIBLE salary, because the richest kid I knew had a dad that made that. So yeah, kind of. I honestly had no perspective at all on this stuff. I was a decade into my career when I learned what a Big Law salary was because I had never met anyone in that career before, at least not well enough to ask their salary.

For me it was like, I was in a nonprofit job making $65k and my law school friends were broke and my friends who went into tech we're making $80k. The differences were there but felt marginal. I do sometimes still feel shell shocked when I hear what other people make in their careers.

Completely agree with this. I grew up in a small town. I had no idea that there were lawyers that made $1 million a year. There Certainly weren’t any in my small town

I thought “lawyer” meant that you open a law firm and sue people and put up Billboards. Later I learned the term “ambulance chaser” to describe the only kind of law practices I knew existed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And yet DCUM denigrates the pre professional schools at Penn Georgetown Northeastern in favor of SLACs. It’s all daisies and unicorns to be so idealist in when you are young, until you are 35 and your peers are making 3-5x more than you do….. this is exactly why I told my DC to pursue CS or Business. Let someone else try to save the world, the trees and the whales. In the real world, living real life, with two kids and a mortgage, It’s about making money.

I went to pre-professional schools so that my kids could have the choice of going to SLACs. They're going to inherit all the money I made anyway, cause I can't take it with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it simply becomes harder to HIDE that you haven’t saved or accumulated any money.

The first big shift is couples buying their first home. Then it’s upgrading to a nicer home. Later, it’s when you can retire.

I have a number of friends who continue to rent a fancy lifestyle. They may have high earnings but can’t save any or much. Still don’t own a home. We make less but bought a while ago and have since upgraded. It is becoming more and move obvious that certain couples haven’t saved any money especially if they can’t even buy a house or apartment.

I know the type of friends you're talking about - as I have that type in NYC - renting the 5-7k/mo apartment and thus not saving much or at all despite high salaries but when they consider buying, given the down payments they have saved despite high salaries they'd have to buy "regular" apartments - built in the 80s, shared laundry etc. even though they're doormen buildings in a good part of town and then it's ew I'm not buying THAT, have you seen the views from my luxury apartment and my all granite kitchen? I get it but then the cycle continues and equity doesn't get built at all.

Outside of NYC though IDK maybe it's just because I know fewer people here [moved here only five years ago], somehow I don't assume that people who haven't bought can't afford it. I mean maybe they can't but it doesn't seem like renting a fancy life is THAT expensive here. I always assume they aren't buying and just investing a ton maybe to buy someplace else.

You nailed it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, have known this all along. As a first generation American choosing a career without high earning potential was not even an option. We are both in health care and have a very comfortable life due to the direction and guidance that was provided to us early on.

Gen X here who “followed their passion and money will follow”. Still waiting on the money.

My parents were here before the mayflower, but since we came from below deck there wasn’t much money and even less wisdom on how to earn it. They prioritized education, but that was the end goal: going to college. The assumption was after that money would be easy. That’s just the first step sadly.

Your parents must be quite old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as you're happy and have a fulfilling career, so what?

That's exactly what I thought at 25, but I didn't realize how much of a difference income makes on every area of your life. Where you can live, where your kids go to school, when or if you can ever retire, if you can travel, if you can afford certain types of healthcare, how you live, the security you feel, the security you can offer your family (parents or children), etc.

It never ends.

Nonprofit attorney here. Agree. In my twenties I totally didn’t get that I needed to save for retirement, etc.

I think my friends who government attorney for the financial regulators etc hit the sweet spot. 200k or so income plus another income if they are married but decent hours.

+1 I learned this interning for a financial regulator before law school. I had also worked as a paralegal, and saw that law firm life was horrible. My dream was to not have to worry about money, but to not have to work hard for it either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes!! This is so spot on. I honestly didn't even understand what was happening, my husband and I reached 35 or so and suddenly felt so broke, which we had never felt in my life. We are in solid jobs (combined HHI $320) but our friends who were in law school, or went into tech, have just... Shot ahead of us while we weren't looking. I feel so blindsided and honestly, naive for how much I thought it didn't matter in our 20s.

We're both on the job market now trying to squeeze another $25k apiece. We'll never have Big Law salaries but honestly we've been a little lazy about maximizing our own potential.

How do you feel broke with an HHI of $320?? What are you needing that you can't afford?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it simply becomes harder to HIDE that you haven’t saved or accumulated any money.

The first big shift is couples buying their first home. Then it’s upgrading to a nicer home. Later, it’s when you can retire.

I have a number of friends who continue to rent a fancy lifestyle. They may have high earnings but can’t save any or much. Still don’t own a home. We make less but bought a while ago and have since upgraded. It is becoming more and move obvious that certain couples haven’t saved any money especially if they can’t even buy a house or apartment.

I know the type of friends you're talking about - as I have that type in NYC - renting the 5-7k/mo apartment and thus not saving much or at all despite high salaries but when they consider buying, given the down payments they have saved despite high salaries they'd have to buy "regular" apartments - built in the 80s, shared laundry etc. even though they're doormen buildings in a good part of town and then it's ew I'm not buying THAT, have you seen the views from my luxury apartment and my all granite kitchen? I get it but then the cycle continues and equity doesn't get built at all.

Outside of NYC though IDK maybe it's just because I know fewer people here [moved here only five years ago], somehow I don't assume that people who haven't bought can't afford it. I mean maybe they can't but it doesn't seem like renting a fancy life is THAT expensive here. I always assume they aren't buying and just investing a ton maybe to buy someplace else.

Yes. I live here in DC and I rent. I have a high salary but just continue to save and invest until I get married. Currently dating someone now so if we end up marrying we should be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it simply becomes harder to HIDE that you haven’t saved or accumulated any money.

The first big shift is couples buying their first home. Then it’s upgrading to a nicer home. Later, it’s when you can retire.

I have a number of friends who continue to rent a fancy lifestyle. They may have high earnings but can’t save any or much. Still don’t own a home. We make less but bought a while ago and have since upgraded. It is becoming more and move obvious that certain couples haven’t saved any money especially if they can’t even buy a house or apartment.

Totally, totally this. Not that there aren't excellent reasons to rent a home, especially with it being such a seller's market right now. But if you didn't catch on to the concept of having *some* kind of nest egg, be it a house or a 401K or whatever, the gap will grow and grow. Decisions in your 20s and early 30s compound, the bill comes due and it's very hard to catch up.