'Secret ingredient': was I wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know anyone who keeps their recipes secret, this is so funny. I asked my MIL for her enchilada sauce recipe so I could make them for DH and she sent me a pic of the box, lol

Lol my family has done this for a couple of my "great" holiday meal contributions. I finally got over my embarrassment and sent them a pic of the box from the supermarket deli.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is short, be gracious and kind!

...you talking to MIL? You know, the woman who doesn't share FAMILY recipes with "married-in" members of the...wait for it...family?

Yes she can be kind too! but one can only control their self of course. “Sticking it to MIL” is not the path to happiness in life. It achieves nothing of value

Enabling MIL to continue to treat her own DIL like an outsider also achieves nothing of value. So there's that.

So an adult would address that issue head on, not turn into the thing they dislike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL prides herself on her secret dishes/family recipes and does not share recipes with anyone not in the family--as in ME, who is only a "married-in." OK, whatever. It's not like there aren't 8,000 recipes out there freely available for any dish you could think up, so I don't get the secrecy.

She was at my house last weekend, and I served mashed potatoes. I use a little bit of cream cheese and a very little bit of Lawry's seasoned salt, in addition to the traditional salt/pepper/butter/cream. I also use mainly russet potatoes, but throw in a few Yukon Golds; the result is light and fluffy with a buttery taste and a touch more yellow color. They're good, but they're just mashed potatoes, and there are a million ways to make them that are tasty. So I don't think I make them perfect, or anything.

Anyway, everyone kept complimenting them, and MIL kept asking "what's your secret," which kind of got to me. The same woman who literally will not give me the recipe for her son's favorite Christmas cookies is now asking what my secret is? So I just smiled and shrugged and said, "You're probably just tasting extra butter."

Was I wrong?

If you have to ask, then you know that you're wrong. You're quite literally doing the same thing that you b about your MIL doing. Of course, you were wrong. So apologize to her, tell her how you made the potatoes, and do a lot of thinking about how you can be a better person. Then actually implement it so you are a better person.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is short, be gracious and kind!

...you talking to MIL? You know, the woman who doesn't share FAMILY recipes with "married-in" members of the...wait for it...family?

Yes she can be kind too! but one can only control their self of course. “Sticking it to MIL” is not the path to happiness in life. It achieves nothing of value

Enabling MIL to continue to treat her own DIL like an outsider also achieves nothing of value. So there's that.

So an adult would address that issue head on, not turn into the thing they dislike.

Exactly. OP is even more immature than she claims her MIL is. Sheesh. (NP)

[Anonymous]

While I don’t think you were wrong, I think a better approach might be to say something like, “well, it’s a secret, but I’ll share it with you because we’re family, and of course family doesn’t keep secrets from each other.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL prides herself on her secret dishes/family recipes and does not share recipes with anyone not in the family--as in ME, who is only a "married-in." OK, whatever. It's not like there aren't 8,000 recipes out there freely available for any dish you could think up, so I don't get the secrecy.

She was at my house last weekend, and I served mashed potatoes. I use a little bit of cream cheese and a very little bit of Lawry's seasoned salt, in addition to the traditional salt/pepper/butter/cream. I also use mainly russet potatoes, but throw in a few Yukon Golds; the result is light and fluffy with a buttery taste and a touch more yellow color. They're good, but they're just mashed potatoes, and there are a million ways to make them that are tasty. So I don't think I make them perfect, or anything.

Anyway, everyone kept complimenting them, and MIL kept asking "what's your secret," which kind of got to me. The same woman who literally will not give me the recipe for her son's favorite Christmas cookies is now asking what my secret is? So I just smiled and shrugged and said, "You're probably just tasting extra butter."

Was I wrong?

If you have to ask, then you know that you're wrong. You're quite literally doing the same thing that you b about your MIL doing. Of course, you were wrong. So apologize to her, tell her how you made the potatoes, and do a lot of thinking about how you can be a better person. Then actually implement it so you are a better person.

+1

FFS. Don't listen to these doormats.

[Anonymous]

What a weird thing to get worked up about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a weird thing to get worked up about

Explain how OP smiling and choosing not to tell the full truth, then asking if there was a better way, is “getting worked up” about something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is short, be gracious and kind!

...you talking to MIL? You know, the woman who doesn't share FAMILY recipes with "married-in" members of the...wait for it...family?

Yes she can be kind too! but one can only control their self of course. “Sticking it to MIL” is not the path to happiness in life. It achieves nothing of value

Enabling MIL to continue to treat her own DIL like an outsider also achieves nothing of value. So there's that.

So an adult would address that issue head on, not turn into the thing they dislike.

Not every little issue has to be addressed head on. This isn’t a big deal, it’s not going to destroy their relationship, it’s fine not to get serious about it.

[Anonymous]

Of course you're wrong. Get her recipe from your DH.

[Anonymous]

Love your recipe! I use sour cream and butter - so so yummy!
Will try yours
I think sometimes, as others have said, the secret ingredient is something store bought. I make a quick sweet bread that people love. It’s from a box but I add a bunch of seasonings (as someone above suggested). I freely tell people when asked.

[Anonymous]

Perfect!

[Anonymous]

I despise anyone who pulls the it's a secret card or who gives you a screwed up recipe intentionally. I grew up in the South and cooking was important even when we were young. We all shared recipes and there was a lot of pride in that. If someone wanted your recipe, that was a huge complement. I only experienced it once I moved to this area.

My mil, and older neighbor, and an admin I worked with all g

[Anonymous]

My mil, and older neighbor, and an admin I worked with all gave me recipes that weren't like their dish at all or were screwed up and were missing important ingredients. My mil and the admin admitted they did this.

The women I've known who do this - I've never known a man to do it, tend to be uneducated. I'd be embarrassed to do it.

Op I would have told your mil your process but I also would have been passive aggressive enough to let her know not sharing is childish.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you were my spouse, I would be mortified by your behavior towards my mom (or any other person, for that matter). I would not want to be married to someone as immature and spiteful as you.