'Secret ingredient': was I wrong?

[Anonymous]

MIL prides herself on her secret dishes/family recipes and does not share recipes with anyone not in the family--as in ME, who is only a "married-in." OK, whatever. It's not like there aren't 8,000 recipes out there freely available for any dish you could think up, so I don't get the secrecy.

She was at my house last weekend, and I served mashed potatoes. I use a little bit of cream cheese and a very little bit of Lawry's seasoned salt, in addition to the traditional salt/pepper/butter/cream. I also use mainly russet potatoes, but throw in a few Yukon Golds; the result is light and fluffy with a buttery taste and a touch more yellow color. They're good, but they're just mashed potatoes, and there are a million ways to make them that are tasty. So I don't think I make them perfect, or anything.

Anyway, everyone kept complimenting them, and MIL kept asking "what's your secret," which kind of got to me. The same woman who literally will not give me the recipe for her son's favorite Christmas cookies is now asking what my secret is? So I just smiled and shrugged and said, "You're probably just tasting extra butter."

Was I wrong?

[Anonymous]

I think you handled this exactly right, OP.

f this ever comes up again and you’re feeling cheeky, you could always smile and offer a trade.

[Anonymous]

Haha this is great. Perfect response.

[Anonymous]

Wait can your husband just not ask for the cookie recipe? I don't know what I would do if my MIL refused to give me a recipe cause I'd only married into the family? Seriously?

I think you played it fine but I would have given you mad props if you had told her its a family secret and she doesn't qualify.

[Anonymous]

Oh man, I would have said "hey you want to know my secret but won't share yours with me?" You did so much better than that!

I do swallow a lot of pride to maintain a good relationship with my MIL so I would eventually tell her what is in the potatoes.

Also, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like a little more details about the potatoes. Do you rinse them after boiling and do you just mash or fluff them up somehow?

[Anonymous]

You are a better person than me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh man, I would have said "hey you want to know my secret but won't share yours with me?" You did so much better than that!

I do swallow a lot of pride to maintain a good relationship with my MIL so I would eventually tell her what is in the potatoes.

Also, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like a little more details about the potatoes. Do you rinse them after boiling and do you just mash or fluff them up somehow?

I drain them and let the steam evaporate completely, then return to the pot and mash well with a potato masher before adding in the seasonings and the cream cheese/butter/milk. I let it all sit and melt for a few minutes before I mix well. I then either serve directly for the pot, or put in a covered serving dish and might nuke for a few minutes before serving. They come out perfectly every time! I've even had someone say he deliberately doesn't put gravy on them at Thanksgiving because they are so perfect as-is. I can't take credit: I got the cream cheese idea from the Pioneer Woman.

[Anonymous]

Best mashed potatoes I have ever made was using russets that I baked for an hour first, then scooped out the flesh....they were amazing. Not water logged. And added lots of butter, salt, cream and pepper....and a little garlic powder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL prides herself on her secret dishes/family recipes and does not share recipes with anyone not in the family--as in ME, who is only a "married-in." OK, whatever. It's not like there aren't 8,000 recipes out there freely available for any dish you could think up, so I don't get the secrecy.

She was at my house last weekend, and I served mashed potatoes. I use a little bit of cream cheese and a very little bit of Lawry's seasoned salt, in addition to the traditional salt/pepper/butter/cream. I also use mainly russet potatoes, but throw in a few Yukon Golds; the result is light and fluffy with a buttery taste and a touch more yellow color. They're good, but they're just mashed potatoes, and there are a million ways to make them that are tasty. So I don't think I make them perfect, or anything.

Anyway, everyone kept complimenting them, and MIL kept asking "what's your secret," which kind of got to me. The same woman who literally will not give me the recipe for her son's favorite Christmas cookies is now asking what my secret is? So I just smiled and shrugged and said, "You're probably just tasting extra butter."

Was I wrong?

No you weren't wrong! Though I would smile and say "I don't share my secrets either" MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh man, I would have said "hey you want to know my secret but won't share yours with me?" You did so much better than that!

I do swallow a lot of pride to maintain a good relationship with my MIL so I would eventually tell her what is in the potatoes.

Also, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like a little more details about the potatoes. Do you rinse them after boiling and do you just mash or fluff them up somehow?

I drain them and let the steam evaporate completely, then return to the pot and mash well with a potato masher before adding in the seasonings and the cream cheese/butter/milk. I let it all sit and melt for a few minutes before I mix well. I then either serve directly for the pot, or put in a covered serving dish and might nuke for a few minutes before serving. They come out perfectly every time! I've even had someone say he deliberately doesn't put gravy on them at Thanksgiving because they are so perfect as-is. I can't take credit: I got the cream cheese idea from the Pioneer Woman.

Thank you! I love the idea of letting the steam evaporate. I'll do that next time. Thanks for letting me in on your secret.

[Anonymous]

I come from a long line of women who had secret recipes they would share with no one.

Sometimes, when we gather as a family, we'll sit around and say, "gosh, I sure we we had Great-Aunt Madison's recipe for buffalo chicken chimichangas." Then we stab our forks into our sad stouffers family-size lasagna and think mean thoughts about selfish ole maddie. So, be comforted that this may be the legacy your MIL will leave behind.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never understood this “secret family recipe” business. Food tastes different even when two people use the same recipe. And as OP observed there are a million recipes out there, some of which doubtless are somebody’s “family secret.” If all you have to hold onto for self esteem is a recipe that might as well have come from a Junior League cookbook (where I traced a recipe I inherited to) its pretty pitiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I come from a long line of women who had secret recipes they would share with no one.

Sometimes, when we gather as a family, we'll sit around and say, "gosh, I sure we we had Great-Aunt Madison's recipe for buffalo chicken chimichangas." Then we stab our forks into our sad stouffers family-size lasagna and think mean thoughts about selfish ole maddie. So, be comforted that this may be the legacy your MIL will leave behind.

Why don't you Google "buffalo chicken chimichangas," try the recipe as-is, then tweak it to approximate what you were looking for?

This is what I don't get about "secret recipes." Like, let's say you want to make red velvet cake. Aunt Bertha may have a "secret" recipe--and it might be a really good one!--but if she's not sharing, you can still find hundreds of recipes and tweak them as needed.

I always laugh in the face of the "secret keepers." Half the time, I only asked for your recipe to be polite. And it's no skin off my back if you don't give me your seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecretttt recipe for chicken and dumplings or whatever. Honey, you're not the only game in town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I come from a long line of women who had secret recipes they would share with no one.

Sometimes, when we gather as a family, we'll sit around and say, "gosh, I sure we we had Great-Aunt Madison's recipe for buffalo chicken chimichangas." Then we stab our forks into our sad stouffers family-size lasagna and think mean thoughts about selfish ole maddie. So, be comforted that this may be the legacy your MIL will leave behind.

Why don't you Google "buffalo chicken chimichangas," try the recipe as-is, then tweak it to approximate what you were looking for?

This is what I don't get about "secret recipes." Like, let's say you want to make red velvet cake. Aunt Bertha may have a "secret" recipe--and it might be a really good one!--but if she's not sharing, you can still find hundreds of recipes and tweak them as needed.

I always laugh in the face of the "secret keepers." Half the time, I only asked for your recipe to be polite. And it's no skin off my back if you don't give me your seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecretttt recipe for chicken and dumplings or whatever. Honey, you're not the only game in town.

oh believe me, we've tried! but it's impossible. and now it's been so many years since we've eaten the real dish--the taste is lost forever. If I ever found it, it would be like that scene in ratatouille where the snooty food critic tastes his childhood in the ratatouille that the rat chef cooks.

[Anonymous]

Offer a trade!