What’s your advice to a soon-to-be high school parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Encourage your kid to find and devote time to something they love. Get involved in a group activity (doesn't have to be sports). Stay attuned to mental health changes.

This. Exactly. I have one who graduated HS in 2020, one graduating this year,and one graduating in 2023.

Make them do something long enough to find out if they love it---dabbling in lots of things turns out to be fine, but only if they also have one or two principal interests to dig into deep. And I don't mean this advice just for college admissions (tho it seems to be what many colleges look for) Kid will likely be happier if they have some devotions

and when mental health issues do pop up (they have in 2 out of 3 of mine), try to address right away with counseling/therapy/meds

Meds my ass

[Anonymous]

I feel that you need a roadmap to reduce the stress on your HS kid.
- Meet the counselor along with your kid, during summer before HS begins and find out what courses your kid can take/will take for the next 4 years. Make sure your kid keeps in touch with the counselor throughout the year. A public school counselor is the most valuable and most underused resource. Try and touch base during off times when they are not busy with other things.
- Put the course info in a spreadsheet for all the four years, chalk in other significant milestones (PSAT, SAT/ACT, sports travel/season, EC activities, travel, college visits etc) so you have a fair idea of what is coming down the pike.
- Don't miss any PSAT that is offered in 8,9,10. Link College-Board account with Khan Academy so your kid can get customized study plan to make up any weakness.
- Take your 11th grade PSAT (NMSQT) and if it is not available, register for alternate route to PSAT.
- Others have mentioned it - you must get the tutors in place as soon as the kid struggles (or even before that) in hard subjects. We signed up with a tutoring service and made sure that DC got the support before it impacted grades. Especially, if the regular teacher bails at school and your kid starts getting a long line of substitute teachers. Keep an eye on Math, Foreign Language and Science and Comp Sci teachers - as there is usually a dearth of good ones in the school system.
- If your kid is a strong student and wants to take AP courses - Take at least 1 each of the 5 core AP classes before 12th grade - Math, Science, S.Science, English and FL - if they can take it. There is no reason to take a huge number of AP courses, but try and take 1 in every core subjects.
- Weave in one easy class (PE, Health, Electives) with your heavy course load.
- GPA matters and so does rigor. For Math, they need to see an upward trajectory over the 4 years. Get as much help and tutoring you can get in Math as you can so that you go in strong for Math in HS.
- Parents can make a test common app account. Do that so you have an idea of what is asked for ECs and essays for personal statement.
- Get comfortable with Naviance.
- Figure out finances.
- ECs are important, and so are teachers who sponsor your kids ECs, so that they can talk about your child's character
- Look for a good fit of major and college (instead of dream college) in safeties, target and reaches.
- Read the two books - Who Gets In and Why, and College is your 2.0. Sign up for free seminars with CollegeVine, CollegeWise, PrepMatters and other college counselor. I would not pay for any of their counselling services because you can do a much better job of guiding your child.
- Apply to your in-state schools for EA. That is when they hand out good amount of merit for the high achieving students.

In the end, what matters most is getting academic support for your child. If they are doing well in school in terms of GPA...everything else is gravy. You cannot let that slip. Most everything - SAT, Essays, Recommendations etc can be figured out.

[Anonymous]

Tell your kid to make a seperate email account for colleges and use it only for the purposes of college admissions. That should be the email account that they use for CollegeBoard, Common App as well as Colleges. Make sure that you also have access to that account, so that you can check it frequently. Remember that colleges track your interest by seeing how many times you click on the links in emails. So, show interest by opening the emails, and research the colleges indepth. Yeah, it is a bit helicoptery, but your kid will probably not be opening college marketing emails. We did not do it, but, would have done it if someone would have told us.

As for the mental health things that someone posted - It is a real thing. Make sure that your kid does not have a heavy social media presence. Make sure that they have a social support and friends, make sure that they are getting breaks, that they are sleeping, eating, exercising well. If need be please get them therapy (and yes meds) if they are depressed. This has been very hard for most students - HS and COVID and all the crap that is going on in the world. You can reduce their stress by being more involved and understanding what they need to be doing.

Nothing derails a child more than a terrible home life. I know that it cannot be helped sometimes and ups and downs in family fortunes and health happens all the time but if the home environment is supportive and positive, kids can be resilient. So, try and be loving and supportive, especially if there is dysfunction in the family.

I also recommend Fiske for researching colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read this...

https://lesshighschoolstress.com/

+1

Read Stixrud and Johnson's books. They are phenomenal: smart, sane, and wise.

+1 to the comment about mental health.

-1 to the comments about making spreadsheets and resumes.

+ 1 to the comment about finances: know where you stand on college and communicate your plans clearly and early.

For my oldest, we did a single college visit the summer after freshman year, since my kid had never been on a college campus before and I thought it would be useful to have some frame of reference once we got to talking about colleges. That was helpful.

Otherwise, remember that we are raising adults, not children. Google one of those "things every kid should know by the time they're ___" lists.

Respect their agency.

When problems arise, ask whose problem it really is.

Along those lines: Put your own oxygen mask on first. Manage your own anxiety. Do whatever you can to keep the ghosts from the nursery.

Show, don't tell: Model your family's values. Practice managing adversity. Show them what a life well-lived looks like.

Focus on your own relationships: They are preparing to leave the nest, after all. Build your own networks, support systems. You'll have more freedom once they're in high school than you've had in the past: Show them how to use that freedom wisely.

Enjoy!! And try not to blink 😊

[Anonymous]

Counselors come and go. Sometimes classes stop being offered. Requirements get altered. Schedule conflicts are common. Interests change, priorities change. A lot can happen between the start of freshman year and graduation. Good to have a plan but also be flexible.

[Anonymous]

figure out what you can afford. that's all that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you say 4 years language, is that four high school years or would middle school count? What about language outside of school, like private tutoring with a native but not on the transcript (language not offered through mcps schools available to us).

If the MS class was for HS credit, it should count as it will appear on the HS transcript.

Not if you switch to private though.

[Anonymous]

That your DS will still be working on that last essay at 9:33 pm when it is due at 11:59.

[Anonymous]

Agree that you need to be aware of course progression, and rigor matters, but don’t get too wrapped up in the “most rigorous” thing if it doesn’t work for your kid. My DC is not stem-oriented at all, and didn’t take the very most rigorous math courses, and his college applications have been very successful. He did very well in the things that he loves and plans to study, and the colleges see that.

Focus more on finding safety schools than reaches. Reaches are easy. Apply to every top 20 college, if you want to. If they win the lottery and get in, great! However, while you’re waiting, having a good safety acceptance that your DC would be happy to attend in your pocket is as good as gold. Even better, if the school has rolling admissions and you hear early in the fall. Also, it’s hard, but try not to let your kid get their heart set on a specific school, especially one with a low admission rate, even if they’re a legacy. Test-optional, and the focus on first-gen, etc, has led to some really unexpected results this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you say 4 years language, is that four high school years or would middle school count? What about language outside of school, like private tutoring with a native but not on the transcript (language not offered through mcps schools available to us).

If the MS class was for HS credit, it should count as it will appear on the HS transcript.

Not if you switch to private though.

DP. The HS transcript will still show that the student took Latin II or III or whatever their freshman year. This was the situation with my DC and we counted on the ADs recognizing that, and it’s worked, so far.