Who the heck are these people with never enough food for guests?

[Anonymous]

I agree its a weird control thing. Here's what worked for me. A few years ago my FIL got on my daughter about how many strawberries she was eating. She'd apparently eaten 6 strawberries in a hour. I pulled my daughter aside and said "please let me know what you'd like to eat and I'll go and get it for you. Strawberries are expensive and there are a lot of us here so Poppy can't afford to feed us all." I knew full well that what I'd said would make its way back to my FIL. Sure enough my daughter told Grandma that she was sorry for eating all the food and how Poppy can't afford to feed us all. FIL got wind of this and all of a sudden my daughter was allowed to have as much as she wants.
Why did I do this you ask? Because when I first met my wife I was a grad student and my FIL told me that he didn't think I could afford to have a family and that I wasn't worthy of his daughter because I didn't have much. So yeah I went for the throat. Now every time we visit Poppy puts on a show so we know that he can take care of the family. "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol my ex’s mom once made a special breakfast for all 3 of us, it was a single serving tub of Greek yogurt divided three ways!

My MIL once asked me if I wanted to split a can of vegetable soup. The whole can had 240 calories. I had just come in from a 6 mile run and she looked at me like I was crazy for wanting my own can + a small turkey sandwich for lunch. I think she eats less than 1000 calories a day and 250 of those calories are wine.

I don’t think it’s wrong to think a small cup of soup and a sandwich is a lunch, and I’m a swimmer. I get that MIL shouldn’t have act all shocked, but that’s a lunch. I also don’t count calories, so maybe that’s part of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m almost jealous. My south Asian in-laws monitor and shame you if you don’t gorge yourself.

This! My Asian family make me eat so much good home cooked food whenever visit. All I hear is “eat, eat, you must eat”! My in-laws never have anyone over because they are too cheap to feed anyone but themselves.

[Anonymous]

My sister just got back from visiting my parents and described the lavish Christmas treat of two bagels and black coffee for four people. You can’t make this stuff up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol my ex’s mom once made a special breakfast for all 3 of us, it was a single serving tub of Greek yogurt divided three ways!

My MIL once asked me if I wanted to split a can of vegetable soup. The whole can had 240 calories. I had just come in from a 6 mile run and she looked at me like I was crazy for wanting my own can + a small turkey sandwich for lunch. I think she eats less than 1000 calories a day and 250 of those calories are wine.

I don’t think it’s wrong to think a small cup of soup and a sandwich is a lunch, and I’m a swimmer. I get that MIL shouldn’t have act all shocked, but that’s a lunch. I also don’t count calories, so maybe that’s part of it.

I think what PP meant is that her MIL wanted lunch to be half a can of soup, period. The "crazy" idea was that lunch would be soup AND a sandwich.

[Anonymous]

My sister was visiting from overseas and making scrambled eggs for herself and her kids and our father went OFF on her for making too many eggs and "wasting" them. He has millions of dollars! When I asked him what the problem was he said it would be too much trouble to go shopping for more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister was visiting from overseas and making scrambled eggs for herself and her kids and our father went OFF on her for making too many eggs and "wasting" them. He has millions of dollars! When I asked him what the problem was he said it would be too much trouble to go shopping for more.

Sounds like dementia.

[Anonymous]

Minimalists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people eat less as they age, so they might forget what it’s like to want to eat more frequently.

Others are the type who are still strict calorie-counters with a 1970s/80s mentality and can’t understand why half a grapefruit isn’t enough to tide you over from the time you get up until the time you have dinner. There have been many threads on here about parents/IL’s (typically the mother) having disordered eating and expecting their children and grandchildren to follow along.

I’m the pp with the foreign in-laws. My sense is that MIL is just done taking care of other people. She lives in a very patriarchal society and raised a half-dozen kids in rudimentary conditions while FIL came to the US to work. FIL is domineering and mean. My sense is this is her version of a bra burner. She lives as if he doesn’t exist and like hell she’s going to wait on anyone anymore. Which I fully respect. But their village doesn’t have amenities like restaurants. And I don’t speak enough of the language to fend for myself. So we were limited to eating when we visited others, which we did daily. But still. I practically ran to the nearest airport wine bar when we landed back in the US.

This is so sad. For her, for you.