Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should be reported and be charged with sexual assault! Boys will be boys is saying rape is all right.

Agree, this is rape as she said no and he pressured/forced her into it. There is no such thing as boys will be boys. Its lazy parenting or parents who failed their kids justifying the kids bad behavior.

Horrible.

[Anonymous]

He traumatized her and doesn't care, which is why he wanted to date a 14 year old freshman. For whatever reason, her parents allowed it.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see it as assault. But for everyone who wants to see prosecution, I don’t see how this girl could handle it. She’s so fragile that she turned to cutting and drugs after a break up, I just can’t imagine what would happen after a defense attorney gets done with her in court which is open to the public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see it as assault. But for everyone who wants to see prosecution, I don’t see how this girl could handle it. She’s so fragile that she turned to cutting and drugs after a break up, I just can’t imagine what would happen after a defense attorney gets done with her in court which is open to the public.

I think for minors, her identity would be hidden and evidence disguised to protect her.

Have you considered it could be very empowering for her to try and get Justice?

However, you are right that the victim’s well being should come first.

I would discuss all this with a lawyer and district attorney whose office specializes in sexual assaults, then make a decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see it as assault. But for everyone who wants to see prosecution, I don’t see how this girl could handle it. She’s so fragile that she turned to cutting and drugs after a break up, I just can’t imagine what would happen after a defense attorney gets done with her in court which is open to the public.

I think for minors, her identity would be hidden and evidence disguised to protect her.

Have you considered it could be very empowering for her to try and get Justice?

However, you are right that the victim’s well being should come first.

I would discuss all this with a lawyer and district attorney whose office specializes in sexual assaults, then make a decision.

But we differ in that I do see it as assault.

She was barely a child and said no many times. He was close to adulthood and a senior. There are states where he would go down as 14 year olds are not capable of informed consent.this was not given anyway.

[Anonymous]

Older teens - I am coming for you if you force yourself on my lovely 14 year old!

[Anonymous]

It’s not rape. Nor is it “boys will be boys”.
Guys do pressure girls into sex all the time. But it takes two to tango. Girls need to have enough self-confidence to stick to “no”. If they don’t have the self-confidence, their parents should not be allowing them to date.
At the same time, parents need to teach their boys that they should not pressuring girls into sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see it as assault. But for everyone who wants to see prosecution, I don’t see how this girl could handle it. She’s so fragile that she turned to cutting and drugs after a break up, I just can’t imagine what would happen after a defense attorney gets done with her in court which is open to the public.

I think for minors, her identity would be hidden and evidence disguised to protect her.

Have you considered it could be very empowering for her to try and get Justice?

However, you are right that the victim’s well being should come first.

I would discuss all this with a lawyer and district attorney whose office specializes in sexual assaults, then make a decision.

Identity hidden from who? The defense lawyer? No.
This would not be a "high profile" case reported on the news or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see it as assault. But for everyone who wants to see prosecution, I don’t see how this girl could handle it. She’s so fragile that she turned to cutting and drugs after a break up, I just can’t imagine what would happen after a defense attorney gets done with her in court which is open to the public.

I think for minors, her identity would be hidden and evidence disguised to protect her.

Have you considered it could be very empowering for her to try and get Justice?

However, you are right that the victim’s well being should come first.

I would discuss all this with a lawyer and district attorney whose office specializes in sexual assaults, then make a decision.

The boy was as a child too. A minor, legally.

Maybe you could convince the DA to try the boy as an adult?

[Anonymous]

What kind of teenage boy pressures his girlfriend into sex??

I just don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What he did was absolutely wrong, but I think it would be very very difficult to prosecute. I also think it is healthiest for your daughter to MOVE ON with the help of a professional.

Depends on the state and the lawyer. Could be done.

They could also just press police charges and let the district attorney go after him.

Sometimes the healthiest thing for w9men and girls to do is to fight back and feel strong in their own agency.

She needs to learn this without prosecuting this young man. She said yes. She was not threatened or forced - “I’m going to break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not a threat to her person.

I think he is a sleazeball - but seriously, why do y’all think 17-18 year old guys date freshmen? It’s not because your daughter is so awesome. It’s a lot easier to talk a 14 yo into sex acts (vs a 17-18 girl).

She said no many times first and was 14! He was close to legal adulthood and at the end of high school.

I would go after him if she was my daughter.

I would also do all the other stuff her family is already doing.

"Go after him" how? Legally? You can't, it's not a crime to break up with someone.
Physically? Now THAT would be assault, and then he CAN "go after" YOU legally.

I would Look into pressing police charges, which would still be within statute of limitations.

I Would look forward lawyer who specializes in sexual assaults against minors.

He coerced a near child into sex she did not want. That is assault against a minor and in some states 14 years old is below the age of consent for any9ne even older teens.

So you are saying you would sue him civily? Do you enjoy throwing money away?

[Anonymous]

Depending on the jurisdiction it may be statutory rape but in no jurisdiction is saying “if you don’t have sex with me, I will dump you” is an act of coercion resulting in rape. Coercion is force or threat of force or (depending on the jurisdiction) things like “I will fire you if you don’t sleep with me” - you are however allowed to say you will terminate a romantic relationship if it doesn’t go the way you want anywhere.

Also, it’s not OP’s call anyway - it’s the girl’s parents’ and/or the girl. OP has never indicated what they want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of teenage boy pressures his girlfriend into sex??

I just don’t understand.

He didn't really consider her his "girlfriend." She was easy and her parents failed her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not rape. Nor is it “boys will be boys”.
Guys do pressure girls into sex all the time. But it takes two to tango. Girls need to have enough self-confidence to stick to “no”. If they don’t have the self-confidence, their parents should not be allowing them to date.
At the same time, parents need to teach their boys that they should not pressuring girls into sex.

Agree parents need to be involved but do not agree young man has no culpability.

Yes boys absolutely need to be taught by parents to respect women and boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What he did was absolutely wrong, but I think it would be very very difficult to prosecute. I also think it is healthiest for your daughter to MOVE ON with the help of a professional.

Depends on the state and the lawyer. Could be done.

They could also just press police charges and let the district attorney go after him.

Sometimes the healthiest thing for w9men and girls to do is to fight back and feel strong in their own agency.

She needs to learn this without prosecuting this young man. She said yes. She was not threatened or forced - “I’m going to break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not a threat to her person.

I think he is a sleazeball - but seriously, why do y’all think 17-18 year old guys date freshmen? It’s not because your daughter is so awesome. It’s a lot easier to talk a 14 yo into sex acts (vs a 17-18 girl).

She said no many times first and was 14! He was close to legal adulthood and at the end of high school.

I would go after him if she was my daughter.

I would also do all the other stuff her family is already doing.

"Go after him" how? Legally? You can't, it's not a crime to break up with someone.
Physically? Now THAT would be assault, and then he CAN "go after" YOU legally.

I would Look into pressing police charges, which would still be within statute of limitations.

I Would look forward lawyer who specializes in sexual assaults against minors.

He coerced a near child into sex she did not want. That is assault against a minor and in some states 14 years old is below the age of consent for any9ne even older teens.

I'm curious about where your line is here.

If she said no three times over the course of a month and then consented would that be ok?
What if she WASN'T having all of these issues today and was just fine? Would it be ok? The events still occurred.
What if she was 15?

What if she was 18?