A guy told me I look like Shrek

[amandbaac]

Anonymous wrote:hey OP, Don’t let this guy define you or bring you down. He sounds like a jerk and jerks are usually jerks because they have some other jerk being a jerk to THEM. Regardless. I took a look at some pics of shrek and he has big eyes and a really wide smile. Those are lovely attributes.

Thank you 🙏🏻

[amandbaac]

Anonymous wrote:OP one of the reasons you are getting so many kind replies is that we have all been there. I don’t think there is a woman on earth who hasn’t been told she wasn’t pretty at some point in her life - usually by a man. Even women we consider to be the most beautiful in the world have been told they aren’t right. It is the patriarchy trying to hold us down. Trying to make us think that our worth lies in how we look. You will also find out shortage of women who have bought into this idea and will work to make you feel less than for the same superficial ‘failings’. Looking a certain way is not an accomplishment. If you are beautiful - it is something that was given to you. You get can control and choose who you are and what you do. These are things that determine your worth. These are things worthy of praise or scorn. The reason middle aged women are so relaxed and happy is that we finally let go of all the insecurities around appearance. We know that partners of value, value us for who we are not how we look. We know that what Steve in accounting thinks about the size of our a$$ doesn’t matter at all. I’ve made a whole bunch of poor decisions and mistakes in my life but the one I wish I could take back is all the time I spent hating my body, hating my hair, wanting to look different than I did. It accomplished nothing and when I look back at old photos of myself, I realize that I was pretty hot. The sooner you let go of that BS, the happier you will be. I promise and nothing is more attractive than a confident woman!

wow thank you for this. <3 You are right but it sucks that I’ll remember his words forever..

[Anonymous]

amandbaac wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP one of the reasons you are getting so many kind replies is that we have all been there. I don’t think there is a woman on earth who hasn’t been told she wasn’t pretty at some point in her life - usually by a man. Even women we consider to be the most beautiful in the world have been told they aren’t right. It is the patriarchy trying to hold us down. Trying to make us think that our worth lies in how we look. You will also find out shortage of women who have bought into this idea and will work to make you feel less than for the same superficial ‘failings’. Looking a certain way is not an accomplishment. If you are beautiful - it is something that was given to you. You get can control and choose who you are and what you do. These are things that determine your worth. These are things worthy of praise or scorn. The reason middle aged women are so relaxed and happy is that we finally let go of all the insecurities around appearance. We know that partners of value, value us for who we are not how we look. We know that what Steve in accounting thinks about the size of our a$$ doesn’t matter at all. I’ve made a whole bunch of poor decisions and mistakes in my life but the one I wish I could take back is all the time I spent hating my body, hating my hair, wanting to look different than I did. It accomplished nothing and when I look back at old photos of myself, I realize that I was pretty hot. The sooner you let go of that BS, the happier you will be. I promise and nothing is more attractive than a confident woman!

wow thank you for this. <3 You are right but it sucks that I’ll remember his words forever..

Make sure you put the same energy into remembering the good words people say to you!!

[Anonymous]

Make a Tiktok about him, and see how fast he regrets that move.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m really sorry. I got picked on a lot in middle school because I had a back brace. But I just focused on my (few) close friends and the activities I enjoyed, and spending time with my family and doing things I loved. By high school, many of the rude types were either deep into drugs or had matured enough not to be outright jerks anymore. I walked into my 20th reunion recently, feeling good and being glad that I kept the good memories and left the bad behind.

Nobody deserves to be treated the way you were. The best thing you can do is to go out in the world and love yourself and be kind to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP one of the reasons you are getting so many kind replies is that we have all been there. I don’t think there is a woman on earth who hasn’t been told she wasn’t pretty at some point in her life - usually by a man. Even women we consider to be the most beautiful in the world have been told they aren’t right. It is the patriarchy trying to hold us down. Trying to make us think that our worth lies in how we look. You will also find out shortage of women who have bought into this idea and will work to make you feel less than for the same superficial ‘failings’. Looking a certain way is not an accomplishment. If you are beautiful - it is something that was given to you. You get can control and choose who you are and what you do. These are things that determine your worth. These are things worthy of praise or scorn. The reason middle aged women are so relaxed and happy is that we finally let go of all the insecurities around appearance. We know that partners of value, value us for who we are not how we look. We know that what Steve in accounting thinks about the size of our a$$ doesn’t matter at all. I’ve made a whole bunch of poor decisions and mistakes in my life but the one I wish I could take back is all the time I spent hating my body, hating my hair, wanting to look different than I did. It accomplished nothing and when I look back at old photos of myself, I realize that I was pretty hot. The sooner you let go of that BS, the happier you will be. I promise and nothing is more attractive than a confident woman!

Yup. OP, every single woman that you would consider beautiful (and everyone else) has been told by some man, at some point, that she was ugly. You have to tune out that noise because it’s not a genuine reflection of reality. The only information you should take from this encounter is “this guy is a complete douchebag” and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

A girl in high school once told me I was ugly. Not only am I not ugly I'm married to someone hotter and richer than her dh so at the end of the day it all worked out.

[Anonymous]

amandbaac wrote:Hi

Im in high school (17, girl) and this happened to me and I have noone to talk to about this. This has made me so sad because my self esteem doesn’t exist and that comment really made me feel horrible.

There is a guy in my class who came up to me from nowhere and said ”wow, you really look like shrek”. And I didn’t reply and he went away.
I am always quiet, and I have never done/said anything mean to him or anyone else. I really just mind my own business everyday and show to school for class, that’s it. I have a few friends but I am not popular at all.

We have been in the same class now for 2 years and I swear I did not have this coming.
He has alot of confidence and walks with so much esteem and is talkative. I guess you could say he’s popular but not the QB, homecoming king or anything like that.

Please help me, I don’t want to post pictures but I feel like the most hideous waste of space now.


How RUDE!!! Why are people so mean? I'm sorry, I hope you just try to brush this off.
I am unkempt and in terrible shape btw. But still he said it to me from nowhere.

How do i feel better now?

[amandbaac]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m really sorry. I got picked on a lot in middle school because I had a back brace. But I just focused on my (few) close friends and the activities I enjoyed, and spending time with my family and doing things I loved. By high school, many of the rude types were either deep into drugs or had matured enough not to be outright jerks anymore. I walked into my 20th reunion recently, feeling good and being glad that I kept the good memories and left the bad behind.

Nobody deserves to be treated the way you were. The best thing you can do is to go out in the world and love yourself and be kind to others.

thank you so much❤️

[amandbaac]

Anonymous wrote:

amandbaac wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP one of the reasons you are getting so many kind replies is that we have all been there. I don’t think there is a woman on earth who hasn’t been told she wasn’t pretty at some point in her life - usually by a man. Even women we consider to be the most beautiful in the world have been told they aren’t right. It is the patriarchy trying to hold us down. Trying to make us think that our worth lies in how we look. You will also find out shortage of women who have bought into this idea and will work to make you feel less than for the same superficial ‘failings’. Looking a certain way is not an accomplishment. If you are beautiful - it is something that was given to you. You get can control and choose who you are and what you do. These are things that determine your worth. These are things worthy of praise or scorn. The reason middle aged women are so relaxed and happy is that we finally let go of all the insecurities around appearance. We know that partners of value, value us for who we are not how we look. We know that what Steve in accounting thinks about the size of our a$$ doesn’t matter at all. I’ve made a whole bunch of poor decisions and mistakes in my life but the one I wish I could take back is all the time I spent hating my body, hating my hair, wanting to look different than I did. It accomplished nothing and when I look back at old photos of myself, I realize that I was pretty hot. The sooner you let go of that BS, the happier you will be. I promise and nothing is more attractive than a confident woman!

wow thank you for this. <3 You are right but it sucks that I’ll remember his words forever..

Make sure you put the same energy into remembering the good words people say to you!!

this is where my low self esteem ruins it. If i get a compliment, my brain tells itself that its a complete lie and the person who gave me a compliment just feels sorry for me.
And then something mean gets said to to me and I remember it forever.

Thank you❤️

[amandbaac]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP one of the reasons you are getting so many kind replies is that we have all been there. I don’t think there is a woman on earth who hasn’t been told she wasn’t pretty at some point in her life - usually by a man. Even women we consider to be the most beautiful in the world have been told they aren’t right. It is the patriarchy trying to hold us down. Trying to make us think that our worth lies in how we look. You will also find out shortage of women who have bought into this idea and will work to make you feel less than for the same superficial ‘failings’. Looking a certain way is not an accomplishment. If you are beautiful - it is something that was given to you. You get can control and choose who you are and what you do. These are things that determine your worth. These are things worthy of praise or scorn. The reason middle aged women are so relaxed and happy is that we finally let go of all the insecurities around appearance. We know that partners of value, value us for who we are not how we look. We know that what Steve in accounting thinks about the size of our a$$ doesn’t matter at all. I’ve made a whole bunch of poor decisions and mistakes in my life but the one I wish I could take back is all the time I spent hating my body, hating my hair, wanting to look different than I did. It accomplished nothing and when I look back at old photos of myself, I realize that I was pretty hot. The sooner you let go of that BS, the happier you will be. I promise and nothing is more attractive than a confident woman!

Yup. OP, every single woman that you would consider beautiful (and everyone else) has been told by some man, at some point, that she was ugly. You have to tune out that noise because it’s not a genuine reflection of reality. The only information you should take from this encounter is “this guy is a complete douchebag” and leave it at that.

thank you for your words❤️

[amandbaac]

Anonymous wrote:A girl in high school once told me I was ugly. Not only am I not ugly I'm married to someone hotter and richer than her dh so at the end of the day it all worked out.

I’m happy for you❤️ thank you

[Anonymous]

If he has never said anything rude to you before, count it as having nothing to do with you at all. Just him having a crappy day for whatever reason and taking it out on others.

When you compliment or do something kind for someone do you do it because you feel sorry for them or feel the need to lie? I feel bad for both you and the guy who was unkind, but I trust you will do just fine. Be kind to yourself. Soak up the kindness of others and let the mean remarks slide off.

[Anonymous]

There's a boy in my 8 years old daughter's class telling my DD that she looks like a boy. She came home and felt sad about it. I asked her if there were anybody else saying it. She said no. I told her since everybody sees her as a girl, and that one boy is the only one who does not, he's not normal aka weirdo.

The next day she came home and said "Daddy, I told him he's a weirdo after he said I was a boy. He stopped calling me a boy after that."

[Anonymous]

Oh Honey, how I wish that I could extend my arms out to you via cyberspace & give you the biggest hug 🫂. 🤗

Because I could have written what you have written when I was exactly your age and I am fifty-two now.

I was the ugly girl in high school.
I had the acne + wore the out-of-style clothes.
I seldom had friends and even if I had set myself on fire….right in the middle of the lunch court (!) > none of the boys who I had a crush on then would have even noticed me.
Really.

Looking back - I remember I placed such importance on being pretty and popular.
It was EVERYTHING to me.
I felt like the World’s Biggest Loser and everyday of high school was a true, living he%#.
Bar none.
Boys (and girls) called me ugly all the time as well as other names.

Nowadays I wish I could talk to my younger self.
Now a days, looking at the popular/attractive kids who used to bully me makes me sad.
Many of them have lost their looks and have thus become humbled.
I have even spoken to some of them online and I cannot believe these are the same people whose opinions that I worshipped.
And as a shallow side note, I have aged much better than them.
Because since I looked so bad back then…..well I could only go just one direction and that had to be up, right??!

All kidding aside, people will change as age does humble everyone.
And as you grow up, navigate your way throughout life and gain invaluable life experience/wisdom, you will one day realize that the only validation you truly need is your own.

You sound like a very articulate, well-spoken young lady.
I wish you only the best looking ahead.

You have a great life ahead of you!!