Please be kind to us with “average “ kids

[Anonymous]

OP, why wouldn't he and you just be happy with some T90, T90 and T30 acceptances. Maybe throw-in one or two T20 applications. Your kid will have tons of options. From a variety of schools. He should apply widely. Very widely. He will have a range of acceptances.

Just have choices. Make sure he was choices. That is very empowering.

[Anonymous]

T90, T70, T30

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hugs to you. My kid is average (3.7w and 28 act) and applied ED to a likely. Our biggest gift has been that he’s the kind of kid who could be happy anywhere, but the number of times he has had to defend his absolute dream school because he could get in somewhere better or people think he should reach higher is just ridiculous. I wish your kid every happiness in the college they end up in.

It is just so rude and tactless to say anything less than complementary when a student or their parents share the school she has selected.

[Anonymous]

^^ So true. I have heard that it is best for kids to have experienced disappointment (even what they might perceive as "failure") before they go away to college.

Some others fall apart when they get a low grade or social rejection.

By overcoming disappointments along the way, people build resilience and the knowledge that life goes on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are hundreds of colleges and universities and OF COURSE B-students (and even C-students) with average SAT/ACT scores are getting into them and succeeding. I do't know who is telling your child he won't get into college, but they are ridiculous.

That said, it's also ridiculous of you to look down on people who go into trades and/or the military - most of which require very skilled people and some of which pay significantly more than your kid will make with a college degree.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hugs to you. My kid is average (3.7w and 28 act) and applied ED to a likely. Our biggest gift has been that he’s the kind of kid who could be happy anywhere, but the number of times he has had to defend his absolute dream school because he could get in somewhere better or people think he should reach higher is just ridiculous. I wish your kid every happiness in the college they end up in.

It is just so rude and tactless to say anything less than complementary when a student or their parents share the school she has selected.

Pp here. I agree. His friends, I kind of understand because most kids around here just want to go to the best school they can get into, but even his counselor was questioning why he would ED this school with his stats. He loves it. He would choose it even if he got in everywhere else he’s applying. So why not ED and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hugs to you. My kid is average (3.7w and 28 act) and applied ED to a likely. Our biggest gift has been that he’s the kind of kid who could be happy anywhere, but the number of times he has had to defend his absolute dream school because he could get in somewhere better or people think he should reach higher is just ridiculous. I wish your kid every happiness in the college they end up in.

It is just so rude and tactless to say anything less than complementary when a student or their parents share the school she has selected.

Pp here. I agree. His friends, I kind of understand because most kids around here just want to go to the best school they can get into, but even his counselor was questioning why he would ED this school with his stats. He loves it. He would choose it even if he got in everywhere else he’s applying. So why not ED and be done with it.

My kid chose the lowest rank of the 7 schools she got into. I wondered if that was the right move, but to her face, was nothing but supportive and encouraging.

Cut to 4 years later, she has THRIVED there. I now see that it was the perfect place for her and I am very impressed that she figured that out at the tender age of 17!

[Anonymous]

3.7w and 28 act ~ To say this is "average" is obnoxious.

You don't get points for modesty. Instead it comes across as obnoxious. Same with Op. We know you hurt but that's no excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dc was just deferred from EA to a school he was really excited about and was in the “likely” pile. We are all pretty sad and nervous tonight about applications. Please.stop telling parents with Bs and less than 30ACTs that they should go into the military or learn a trade etc. it’s so unkind. Most kids are average, and in this area being a strong B student actually means something. Mine is at a competitive private school. But it does not matter. I’m worried for him and kids like him in this area that get the message they are not good enough. Doesn’t come from us, but I know it’s hard on him. Anyway just asking for some kindness from people moving forward.

Rum your own race OP. No matter how great someone is at something, there are always people better at it. Just don’t worry about other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your son’s disappointment but how about you be kind to the many people who are in trades on this board. It’s absurd you are are wounded about the suggestion that could be an ok life when many people reading and suggesting have that life.

+1. Some people are never respectful or grateful of those who worked in trades and skilled labor until they desperately need an electrician, a plumber, or a mechanic. Then they respect that person for exactly the moment they arrived until the problem is fixed, and then it’s right back to looking down on them.

Those of us with critical thinking skills see the writing on the wall: climate change is leading to disasters, and people who are skilled in construction, infrastructure and home repair are going to be in very high demand. Enjoy your crumbling beach house “investment” without the skills of tradespeople to repair and enhance it.

And yet they are also dependent on the college-educated people who model the impact of disasters, who figure out the engineering standards structures need to meet, who write the policy guidelines that tradespeople need to follow, who engage in public policy to transform zoning around flood zones, who provide legal advice on compensation for damages due to poor construction, the actuarials who figure out insurance costs etc. etc. We have an ecosystem of work and there are many people who are important to it.

Show me where I said otherwise. I work at a university. I literally work with sociologists, geographical scientists, economists and scholars across broad fields. Want to point out where I said ONLY tradespeople and skilled laborers deserve respect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are hundreds of colleges and universities and OF COURSE B-students (and even C-students) with average SAT/ACT scores are getting into them and succeeding. I do't know who is telling your child he won't get into college, but they are ridiculous.

That said, it's also ridiculous of you to look down on people who go into trades and/or the military - most of which require very skilled people and some of which pay significantly more than your kid will make with a college degree.

NP here. The OP was not looking down on tradespeople OR the military. You people need to get off your strawman high horses. Her son WANTS TO GO TO COLLEGE. Would you tell someone who *wanted* to be a tradesperson/military that they really need to look into college instead? No, you’d (hopefully) give them suggestions to help them achieve their goals. Honestly, DCUM never disappoints.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your words would mean more if you weren’t trying to stratify other groups of kids. Insinuating your child is average but still above those in trade schools or the military really jumbles your message.

Exactly. And don’t forget op’s kid goes to a competitive school so it not some scrub at a second tier private. Op-I’m sorry for your kid but you need to snap out of it and don’t be such a snob.

Oh stop. I know exactly what OP means. Several years ago my kid got 1370 on the SAT and DCUMers were telling me with a score like that he should consider going to community college.

what's wrong with a community college?

DP - Nothing, and no one said there was. You strawman-ed.

The incorrect point others made was that was the only option for a kid with those scores.

WTF is wrong with people around here?

+100
Some people are truly toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hugs to you. My kid is average (3.7w and 28 act) and applied ED to a likely. Our biggest gift has been that he’s the kind of kid who could be happy anywhere, but the number of times he has had to defend his absolute dream school because he could get in somewhere better or people think he should reach higher is just ridiculous. I wish your kid every happiness in the college they end up in.

It is just so rude and tactless to say anything less than complementary when a student or their parents share the school she has selected.

Pp here. I agree. His friends, I kind of understand because most kids around here just want to go to the best school they can get into, but even his counselor was questioning why he would ED this school with his stats. He loves it. He would choose it even if he got in everywhere else he’s applying. So why not ED and be done with it.

DP. Would you mind sharing the school? My DD has exactly the same stats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"The most successful people I know did not go to college."

Give me a break.

DP. I know two self-made billionaires who did not attend college. I’ve met a third (Bill Gates) who attended but did not graduate. That’s in addition to quite a few more run of the mill millionaires that I know. Most college graduates are salary workers who won’t take the risks necessary to get really rich.

How many are women and how many are URM? It’s not just being willing to take the risk yourself to be an entrepreneur, you have to convince people to take a risk on you to pick your product/service or invest in your company. I know this is taking the conversation in a slightly different direction that OP intended but I feel like this “oh you don’t need college” and “it’s okay to be average” isn’t the message I can give my kids because as a minority woman it would make their road 10x harder.

I will say to my kids that there are many different paths to success and what success looks like isn’t the same for every person. There are certain things that can close certain doors or makes things harder but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t another way to get there. So a B in math doesn’t mean you can’t be an engineer but it could change how you get there, what school you go to, if you look into a transfer into the engineering program versus direct admit etc. Also know wherever you go, you need to do well if you are competing for internships and jobs at employers that are popular. Again, there may be another pathway where it may take working at a smaller, not as well known company and prove yourself there to move to a bigger company. So it’s not fixed, but at some point once they figure out what they want to do, they do have to work hard in that area and work for what they want and be good enough to make a living in that area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your son’s disappointment but how about you be kind to the many people who are in trades on this board. It’s absurd you are are wounded about the suggestion that could be an ok life when many people reading and suggesting have that life.

+1. Some people are never respectful or grateful of those who worked in trades and skilled labor until they desperately need an electrician, a plumber, or a mechanic. Then they respect that person for exactly the moment they arrived until the problem is fixed, and then it’s right back to looking down on them.

Those of us with critical thinking skills see the writing on the wall: climate change is leading to disasters, and people who are skilled in construction, infrastructure and home repair are going to be in very high demand. Enjoy your crumbling beach house “investment” without the skills of tradespeople to repair and enhance it.

And yet they are also dependent on the college-educated people who model the impact of disasters, who figure out the engineering standards structures need to meet, who write the policy guidelines that tradespeople need to follow, who engage in public policy to transform zoning around flood zones, who provide legal advice on compensation for damages due to poor construction, the actuarials who figure out insurance costs etc. etc. We have an ecosystem of work and there are many people who are important to it.

Show me where I said otherwise. I work at a university. I literally work with sociologists, geographical scientists, economists and scholars across broad fields. Want to point out where I said ONLY tradespeople and skilled laborers deserve respect?

Show me where I said you didn't. I just highlighted what *I* see as truth that you didn't mention that I think is relevant to the conversation.
I say this as an academic from a working-class background who's experienced a whole life of people dunking on college education as ivory tower and somehow not as real, valuable, hard , honest as work as the trades and work with kids whose parents eye their educational goals with suspicion.