Please be kind to us with “average “ kids

[Anonymous]

My Dc was just deferred from EA to a school he was really excited about and was in the “likely” pile. We are all pretty sad and nervous tonight about applications. Please.stop telling parents with Bs and less than 30ACTs that they should go into the military or learn a trade etc. it’s so unkind. Most kids are average, and in this area being a strong B student actually means something. Mine is at a competitive private school. But it does not matter. I’m worried for him and kids like him in this area that get the message they are not good enough. Doesn’t come from us, but I know it’s hard on him. Anyway just asking for some kindness from people moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for your son’s disappointment but how about you be kind to the many people who are in trades on this board. It’s absurd you are are wounded about the suggestion that could be an ok life when many people reading and suggesting have that life.

[Anonymous]

I have a similar son. Your likely was a reach.

[Anonymous]

Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Big hug. I have one kid who was an athletic superstar but academically verrrry average, and another who was just average at everything. Both in college now, thriving. It all works out, promise. I’m sorry. I understand the hurt and worry, and people are so insensitive.

[Anonymous]

You need to emphasize to your kid that there are 30 colleges that will all be about the same. All that really matters is what you do once you get there.

[Anonymous]

My brother was like your kid. Went into trades, started own business and has more money than the A siblings who went to 4 yr colleges. I understand your son’s disappointment but it all works out in the end. Learning to deal with disappointment is a tough but necessary life lesson. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry--this board is the worse (as is evident by the first several comments you got). I wish the best for your son...he will, I'm sure, end up someplace wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your son’s disappointment but how about you be kind to the many people who are in trades on this board. It’s absurd you are are wounded about the suggestion that could be an ok life when many people reading and suggesting have that life.

You're reading too much into it. If a kid's goal is to go to college, and they have a track record that makes that possible, then it is insulting to tell them that they really should do these other things instead because they are not cut out for their goal. It has nothing to do with disparaging military or trade--those suggestions just aren't relevant to someone who doesn't have that as their goal. It would be the same if someone wanted to go into the military and you told them I don't think you're tough enough for it, you should go to college instead. College wasn't their goal.

OP, I'm sorry for your son's disappointment and hope for better news soon. You might want to revisit the likely pile and make sure there are some that are very likely and potentially expand those options. The college admissions process--always tough--has been upended by the pandemic with all the kids who have deferred etc. But there will be a school that will be a great fit for him if you look for it.

[Anonymous]

I think your words would mean more if you weren’t trying to stratify other groups of kids. Insinuating your child is average but still above those in trade schools or the military really jumbles your message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your words would mean more if you weren’t trying to stratify other groups of kids. Insinuating your child is average but still above those in trade schools or the military really jumbles your message.

Exactly. And don’t forget op’s kid goes to a competitive school so it not some scrub at a second tier private. Op-I’m sorry for your kid but you need to snap out of it and don’t be such a snob.

[Anonymous]

I started a thread a while back asking for tips for my public school B student with crummy test scores. The responses weren’t kind.

Honestly, we know so many people who own handyman or plumbing businesses, and they are far wealthier than DH and I are with our advanced degrees and white collar jobs. I’m tempted to have my kid apprentice with a family friend and simply invest $200k in my son’s future business rather than pay tuition someplace.

He applied to 10 schools, and who knows what will happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your words would mean more if you weren’t trying to stratify other groups of kids. Insinuating your child is average but still above those in trade schools or the military really jumbles your message.

Exactly. And don’t forget op’s kid goes to a competitive school so it not some scrub at a second tier private. Op-I’m sorry for your kid but you need to snap out of it and don’t be such a snob.

+1

[Anonymous]

I’m in the same boat. Hang in there. Also, something reminded me of someone I hadn’t thought of in years. I knew him as an acquaintance since kindergarten. Academically, he was so-so but was a decent person. I googled him and he is a high-level executive for a well-known private sector company and lives in a house twice as big as mine. He went to a mid-level state school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your words would mean more if you weren’t trying to stratify other groups of kids. Insinuating your child is average but still above those in trade schools or the military really jumbles your message.

Exactly. And don’t forget op’s kid goes to a competitive school so it not some scrub at a second tier private. Op-I’m sorry for your kid but you need to snap out of it and don’t be such a snob.

Oh stop. I know exactly what OP means. Several years ago my kid got 1370 on the SAT and DCUMers were telling me with a score like that he should consider going to community college.