Down 15 lbs - not one comment from anyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have dropped a pant size and I think I generally look less “puffy”…from 190 to 175…is this just not a significant enough drop for a person of my size? Mid-40s woman.

FWIW I am not changing for anyone but surprising myself I would appreciate that validation as encouragement to continue, you know?

Congratulations, OP! I am in my 40s and would love to make progress like that.

I think commenting on weight loss is tricky - sometimes it's because a person is sick, sometimes it feels uncomfortable because you don't want to imply you thought the person didn't look good before, etc.

[Anonymous]

I do not comment on anyone’s weight.

Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

OP it’s really become a social no-no to ask someone about their weight loss, for the many reasons already listed.
I lost 50 lbs and even my nosiest, rudest, walking-HR-violation coworker refrained from anything more than the hilarious attempt to get me to say something by mentioning that my face looked … different, in a luminous way! LOL

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks. I truly didn’t mean the post as any sort of humble brag but truly appreciate the positive comments from a few.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I never comment on that. It’s rude and it implies “wow you were fat before.”

[Anonymous]

I don’t care about anyone’s weight, especially just a tiny bit of change. When a friend tells me I politely congratulate them but otherwise no.
I am around 190 as well and I don’t think I looked very different when I was 175.

[Anonymous]

I once lost 20+lbs rapidly due to illness. I had so many positive comments, it was crazy. I didn’t chose to lose that weight. I didn’t want to be unable to eat only a few hundred calories a day.

I finally said something to the mother of one of my son’s friends who went on and on (and on) about my “skinniness”. And I was scrawny! I said, “thanks. I’m actually having health issues. I wasn’t trying to lose weight.” Her response, “well, at least you look great!!” I felt like I’d gotten punched in the stomach; it was so rude.

Anyway. I never comment on another’s weight loss unless they’ve confided in me that they’re working to lose weight and have hit a goal, that type of thing. And even then - I focus on on the achievement or effort, not their body’s appearance.

[Anonymous]

You are not entitled to a comment. In fact in this day and age a comment like that could be actionable if at work. Your praise has to come from within.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, I don't know about everyone else but I make it a point not to comment on weight changes -- it's just too risky.

I also will never comment on weight changes. Not because it's risky, but because it goes against my values. I don't believe that skinny=attractive.

I have a neighbor who I know has lost weight. I am not mentioning it. You could be them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once lost 20+lbs rapidly due to illness. I had so many positive comments, it was crazy. I didn’t chose to lose that weight. I didn’t want to be unable to eat only a few hundred calories a day.

I finally said something to the mother of one of my son’s friends who went on and on (and on) about my “skinniness”. And I was scrawny! I said, “thanks. I’m actually having health issues. I wasn’t trying to lose weight.” Her response, “well, at least you look great!!” I felt like I’d gotten punched in the stomach; it was so rude.

Anyway. I never comment on another’s weight loss unless they’ve confided in me that they’re working to lose weight and have hit a goal, that type of thing. And even then - I focus on on the achievement or effort, not their body’s appearance.

Yup, this is a sign of how toxic diet culture is.

I had a stomach bug one time that was HORRENDOUS. Like I thought I may die (I knew I wasn't dying, but I felt that bad). I was breastfeeding at the time and was barely hanging onto my supply. Being that dehydrated and unable to pump for 24 hours meant my milk was pretty much gone once I recovered. I was so SAD about it. A friend was all "but at least now you've lost all the baby weight!". It was such a careless stupid comment. Sometimes you just need to say "ugh I'm sorry" and not bright side everything.

[Anonymous]

Take it from someone who has lost a significant amount of weight over the last three years (70 lbs.), 30 lbs. is the magic number when folks will start commenting.

At 15-20 lbs., they see a difference but aren't sure what it is (did she cut her hair? buy a new wardrobe? etc.) 15 lbs. is awesome but I promise you it's the frustrating phase where people can't pinpoint what it is that's changed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people consider it rude to comment on weight loss.

+1 I don’t comment on anyone’s body size/shape ever. I’ll compliment an outfit, a haircut, but never anything about weight.

This. I just avoid talking about weight altogether. It's a touchy subject overall, plus honestly weight is a boring subject too.

[Anonymous]

I’d be offended if someone said anything, unless it was someone I’d talked to about trying to lose weight.

[Anonymous]

My husband's cousin, who we see once a year, along with the rest of his family, lost about 50 or 60 pounds since the last time we had seen her (she had skipped a year). When I was standing with her and her sister, I said, Alice, you look great. They both stared at me in stunned silence. It was clear I had offended her, which seemed like total BS to me, so I just owned it and said, well, it's clear you lost a lot of weight, I assumed that was something you were working on....they both told me I should never comment on somebody's appearance. I'm basically a nice person, and not socially awkward--they're just total jerks. However, other than to my sister, I will never comment on someone's appearance, even when they have so obviously been working on positive changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have dropped a pant size and I think I generally look less “puffy”…from 190 to 175…is this just not a significant enough drop for a person of my size? Mid-40s woman.

FWIW I am not changing for anyone but surprising myself I would appreciate that validation as encouragement to continue, you know?

Stop caring what other people thinking, and start caring about your own health.