has your dd ever had to miss school because of her period?

[Anonymous]

Not my kids. I have boys.

I had to miss school when I was a kid. It was terrible. The cramps were insane. I went on the pill and it helped immensely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, the number of women on here willing to say a young woman should just deal with it and that she's probably just being 'lazy' is disgusting, and also very sad. The PP that said if men had to deal with this our view would be very, very different is spot on. And female doctors can be just as, if not more, dismissive than male doctors because many of them also buy into this worldview that women are just lazy whiners who should be pushing silently and cheerfully through pain to get along in society without causing anyone any inconvenience. They see women who admit they're in pain as letting down the cause or something - my sister went through this sort of thing for years before finally finding a gynecologist who would help her. And when she did, her life became so much better.

Yes, OP, take her to another doctor, one who will actually listen to your daughter and help her. Your pediatrician is a jerk and probably incapable of treating anyone who's gone through puberty. Get her a non-ped doctor. And yes, let her stay home from school if she's in terrible pain. Do you really think she's getting anything out of being forced to sit in a chair in a class and run around the halls on a bell schedule when she's physically miserable? It's ok to follow your instincts as a parent and support your child even if some random authority figure brushes her off. And it's ok to miss school sometimes.

Thank you very much for writing this.

I thank you for this, also. I was a puking, shivering mess during my period all through high school and was told that it was normal, and that I was being dramatic. It's not, and I wasn't.

[Anonymous]

No, but my close friend stayed home from school at least one day per month. Ended up being diagnosed w/endo at 16. Yes, teens can be diagnosed that early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, the number of women on here willing to say a young woman should just deal with it and that she's probably just being 'lazy' is disgusting, and also very sad. The PP that said if men had to deal with this our view would be very, very different is spot on. And female doctors can be just as, if not more, dismissive than male doctors because many of them also buy into this worldview that women are just lazy whiners who should be pushing silently and cheerfully through pain to get along in society without causing anyone any inconvenience. They see women who admit they're in pain as letting down the cause or something - my sister went through this sort of thing for years before finally finding a gynecologist who would help her. And when she did, her life became so much better.

Yes, OP, take her to another doctor, one who will actually listen to your daughter and help her. Your pediatrician is a jerk and probably incapable of treating anyone who's gone through puberty. Get her a non-ped doctor. And yes, let her stay home from school if she's in terrible pain. Do you really think she's getting anything out of being forced to sit in a chair in a class and run around the halls on a bell schedule when she's physically miserable? It's ok to follow your instincts as a parent and support your child even if some random authority figure brushes her off. And it's ok to miss school sometimes.

Thank you very much for writing this.

I thank you for this, also. I was a puking, shivering mess during my period all through high school and was told that it was normal, and that I was being dramatic. It's not, and I wasn't.

Agreed! This was me and it started in middle school. If i forgot to take my advil in the am i would be walking to the nurses office and throw up from pain before mom picked me up every other month. Finally got birth control (for acne of all things and not this) in HS and it was so so much better.

[Anonymous]

One of my sisters had this exactly. Down to the timeline. I haven't read all the responses (I assume at 5 pages it may have jumped the shark) but I will just say and probably echo others that say get this out of a pediatrician
s office ASAP. Get to an OB. This is female reproductive health. You wouldn't go to your gen prac for this likely, so neither should she. I also think there is finally a reckoning in female reproductive health that pain is not an integral part of the process (see all the tiktok videos calling providers to task for dismissing pain and/or not offering numbing for cervical biopsies, etc) and so it would be great to find someone who talks about this shift in care, not someone too attached to their older system of training (which lots of physicians can tend to do, its so baked into their identity sometimes that new approaches are sometimes dismissed).

Find her someone that she can grow with and will be comfortable with through her growth

[Anonymous]

I also want to say that even if a good doctor does deem that she is experiencing normal periods, no physical pathologies, etc....we still don't expect people to live with pain without having a plan to manage pain, why would this be any different? She needs a plan to manage it, not just try to ignore it. "get over it" is not a plan when something is debilitating in your life, sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Why are you torturing her? Put the girl on birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would get so nauseous I would vomit and have diarrhea at school. Eventually we went to the GYN and they put me on birth control and it resolved. It had to do with my retroverted uterus.

I have a retroverted uterus and never experienced painful periods, so who knows...

[Anonymous]

I occasionally missed school as a teen. If I didn’t anticipate the start with a painkiller, I would have horrific cramps and diarrhea, and alternate between laying in bed shaking from the pain and bent over sitting on the toilet. I still occasionally get a “bad” period and am basically useless that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take your daughter to a gynecologist to be evaluated for primary dysmenorrhea. This is not uncommon and for teens like me, cannot be resolved with Advil. I was put on birth control pills which alleviated my symptoms almost immediately. Like your daughter, I was missing school due to the pain and nausea and once even passed out in the school bathroom.

+1 My periods never gave me issues but I knew of girls it did and my own DD suffers. My DD is on BCP to address it.

I have to say that I take issue with the attitude, 'some women have really tough periods and we have to learn to push through them'. No, you don't and I suspect it was a male pediatrician who, basically, told her to suck it up. It does NOT need to be this way and you can bet your a$$ that if it were men/boys who routinely had these symptoms it would be better addressed.

+1. This. If your DD has periods so bad she is missing school, why aren’t you talking to a gyn? My DD had incredibly heavy periods, seven days on, seven days off. 15 minutes of talking with a gyn who specializes in teens, no need for tests or a pelvic exam in her case. DD’s very thin with a petite frame. 5’4 and still below 100 lbs at 17. Not enough body fat to produce enough estrogen to regulate her cycle. Low dose BCP and it was life changing. Pus, some iron supplements. She had become anemic.

No, this isn’t something women just have to put up with. Get your kid medical care.

[Anonymous]

What the heck OP. Your daughter is suffering. It’s your job to move heaven and earth to find any solution that might be out there to relieve that suffering. That’s what good moms do. You look her in the eye and tell her you believe her and will get her help.

[Anonymous]

Normal for me. I always stayed home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the heck OP. Your daughter is suffering. It’s your job to move heaven and earth to find any solution that might be out there to relieve that suffering. That’s what good moms do. You look her in the eye and tell her you believe her and will get her help.

OK, but maybe don't just jump all over OP since she and all women have been socialized (especially if she is old enough to have a teen herself, likley about 50 or over 50) to think that we are all just living with suffering once a month and that we have to just suck it up because its just part of being female. The amount of shit we don't know about our own bodies is insane.

[Anonymous]

My DD was prescribed BC by our Nurse Practitioners at the Family Practice we go to. We talked to her about it during DDs 13 year old check up. The NP said that if the BC didn't help that she would refer us to the GYN.
So, you don't necessarily need to go to an OB/GYN for this issue.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone gotten their pre-teen on BC for menstrual pain? My younger DD is approaching 11 and has had her period for a year. She is starting to show the same symptoms as I had and her older sister had before we went on the pill. I'm wondering when I can ask the NP about getting her on BC.