has your dd ever had to miss school because of her period?
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Anonymous
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DD is 16 and has had her period for 2.5 years. She has always had a hard time with it. In the last year, her cramps are worse. She also gets sharp abdominal pains and feels very nauseous in the first two days.
Two weeks ago, I took her to the pediatrician and explained all of this. Ped asked a lot of questions and concluded that this was normal, though unfortunate. The ped did not think we needed further evaluation. So this morning, she was having these symptoms and they were a little worse than usual. And I strongly encouraged her to go to school based on the pediatrician's conclusions. I basically told her that some women have really tough periods and we have to learn to push through them. She was able to eat a few bites of cereal in order to take two Advil. She called me husband just now to pick her up since he WFH. Has anyone's DD been through this and is this normal? Or should I push on the pediatrician to get a referral or some tests? The reason I encouraged her to go to school is that she is the kind of kid who needs to be pushed sometimes. She has a tendency to give up easily and has a lazy streak. It can be hard to know what to do sometimes in a situation like this with her. I certainly don't want to push her if she is really ill. |
Anonymous
| From high school I remember one or two girls with more extreme cramps who had to miss a half day here and there. Also, I remember when I figured out how much exercise helped me for cramps. Good luck navigating this. |
Anonymous
| Take your daughter to a gynecologist to be evaluated for primary dysmenorrhea. This is not uncommon and for teens like me, cannot be resolved with Advil. I was put on birth control pills which alleviated my symptoms almost immediately. Like your daughter, I was missing school due to the pain and nausea and once even passed out in the school bathroom. |
Anonymous
+1 My periods never gave me issues but I knew of girls it did and my own DD suffers. My DD is on BCP to address it. I have to say that I take issue with the attitude, 'some women have really tough periods and we have to learn to push through them'. No, you don't and I suspect it was a male pediatrician who, basically, told her to suck it up. It does NOT need to be this way and you can bet your a$$ that if it were men/boys who routinely had these symptoms it would be better addressed. |
Anonymous
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I absolutely called my parents to pick me up from school when I was a teen. My cramps were so bad I felt like I was going to pass out - I got cold and super pale.
You might want to check into birth control or at least your DD starting to take Advil in advance of the pain which helped me alot. Basically I would start taking Advil on a regular schedule at the first sign of pain and through the first two days, rather than waiting until it was so bad. |
Anonymous
| You have to walk the fine line between these being completely real symptoms that she has no control over and her having typical cramps that she is then elaborating on so that she can be lazy for a few days a month. I would go the route of taking her to a gyn to be be evaluated. Take her word and show her that you believe her. Treat is seriously and let a doctor who specializes in this area lead the way. That being said I know a teen that has such a heavy flow on day 2 that she could not go to school because she would need to change at least once an hour. But I have also met grown women that brag about tricking their parents about this so they could stay home every month. |
Anonymous
| Thanks for the advice. I will take her to a gyn and we will start taking Advil in advance. She plays a team sport, so gets her exercise in. It was a female pediatrician and she is an adolescent medicine specialist, so I suspect she sees menstrual complaints often. |
Anonymous
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In HS, I stayed home a few times. It would cause both cramps and vomiting (or it's possible that the advil I took for the cramps caused the vomiting)? I also eventually learned that exercising (even just a walk) helped but that's a difficult thing to bring yourself to do when you are feeling quite bad. (Better for when you feel it coming on.)
I second the idea of getting her checked out but otherwise don't have good advice. As a parent, it's impossible to know how much pain the kid is really in versus them wanting to take the easier way out. It's so hard! |
Anonymous
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Hot tea
Heating pad Advil Walk Diet: fruit, veggies, meat No dairy, caffeine (chocolate) or fried food. Even if she stays home she should be able to treat her pain. She needs to figure out what works got her. |
Anonymous
| I had severe cramps in HS and would even vomit and passed out a couple of times. Have her evaluated by an OB and either get on BC or at least some pain meds for when they get bad. |
Anonymous
+1 I missed school the first day of my period every month until my parents got me on BC. My DD was experiencing the same symptoms that I got to witness first hand because of distance learning last year. We tried to manage it with Ibuprofen for over a year but she was still missing school. We went to her NP for her 13 year check up and we got her on BC. All cramping and other symptoms have disappeared. Why put her through the misery of menstrual cramps if you can avoid it? BC is safe and effective for the vast majority of women. |
Anonymous
My experience was similar. My daughter would have cramps and nausea - and also sometimes threw up the first day of her period. I declined the birth control option when she was 13 as I just couldn't imagine it, but changed my mind a year later as I was concerned about missing classes in high school. The oral contraceptives helped immensely and while she still had cramps, she could function. |
Anonymous
| My sister would miss school for her period. She would be throwing up and in pain. She discovered she had endometriosis while trying to conceive. It is not normal to feel the way your daughter feels and my heart goes out to her. She needs to see a gynecologist. |
Anonymous
That sounds like a great plan OP. This is one area in medicine where professionals tend to downplay the discomfort and ignore simple ways to alleviate the pain. Girls are typically told to power through. It seems that if a certain percentage of men were suffering once a month with pain as severe as I experienced as a teen, the medical community would have figured out something by now and made it part of standard treatment. |
Anonymous
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I hate to use instagram as a source but I would really look at recent posts by Amy Schumer ref: endometriosis.
Painful, debilitating periods are not normal and women should not expect to regularly be in agony and normalize it. The only times I have ever wanted to pass out from pain or cry involving my uterus was during labor, during an abortion, and during a miscarriage. I have PCOS and have large cysts. Ive had colposcopies and a highly sensitive cervix since just regular Paps are uncomfortable and I cramp for a day after. I had an IUD put in prior to childbirth and a very painful extraction (it wouldnt close back up). I have had really bad cramps, especially the ones that shock the anus - man those hurt but I have never needed to miss school or work. I also am not a high pain tolerance individual. I say this because there are definitely periods that suck and internal procedures that are not comfortable but the pain is quick. If your child is regularly needing multiple Advils, unable to eat, etc. please go see a specialist. There really isnt much they can do for things like endometriosis, if that is the case, but they absolutely can give her tools to manage. But it is really important to be clear that a pain of 6-8/10 for a few days every month is not manageable and it should not be normalized that she just has to deal with it. |