Children and Racial Slurs

[Anonymous]

How would you handle a racial slur being made against your elementary aged child if the teacher didn't contact you and your child is upset? This is a white child being called the "N" word by an AA child, he was also called other names. This was in the classroom while the kids were getting ready to sit on the carpet for a story. The child looked right at the other child and called the name - I was careful to determine that my child didn't mishear or hear something that was just being said out loud. It was 100% said to my child.

Do I contact the parents, or the teacher, or go see the principle? Or do none of those and just counsel my child on how we don't say that to people and how it's not okay? My concern is that the other child is saying this to other kids and that kids will pick up on it and it will spread. Also concerned with how upset my child is.

Any thoughts on the best course of action or advice on what you would do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

The child is obviously acting out in some weird way and trying out the word. How old is your child? I would probably explain that and tell my kid to say "what's wrong with you?" Or "get a life" but I always go for the deflate comment. I don't think it helps to say "that's not nice! I'm telling the teacher!" Usually that throws gasoline on the fire.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I'd email a brief, businesslike note to the teacher:

Dear Teacher X,
Larlo came home upset the other, saying that Larlito called him the "N" word and some other names yesterday when the class was getting ready to sit on the carpet. I thought you would want to know so that you can monitor the situation.
Sincerely,
Larla Larlington

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I'd email a brief, businesslike note to the teacher:

Dear Teacher X,
Larlo came home upset the other, saying that Larlito called him the "N" word and some other names yesterday when the class was getting ready to sit on the carpet. I thought you would want to know so that you can monitor the situation.
Sincerely,
Larla Larlington

cc the principal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would you handle a racial slur being made against your elementary aged child if the teacher didn't contact you and your child is upset? This is a white child being called the "N" word by an AA child, he was also called other names. This was in the classroom while the kids were getting ready to sit on the carpet for a story. The child looked right at the other child and called the name - I was careful to determine that my child didn't mishear or hear something that was just being said out loud. It was 100% said to my child.

Do I contact the parents, or the teacher, or go see the principle? Or do none of those and just counsel my child on how we don't say that to people and how it's not okay? My concern is that the other child is saying this to other kids and that kids will pick up on it and it will spread. Also concerned with how upset my child is.

Any thoughts on the best course of action or advice on what you would do in this situation?

You should write a brief email directly to the principal, alerting him/ her to investigate the apparent bullying.

[Anonymous]

Your White Kid got called an "N" word by an AA child?

What "N" word was it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you handle a racial slur being made against your elementary aged child if the teacher didn't contact you and your child is upset? This is a white child being called the "N" word by an AA child, he was also called other names. This was in the classroom while the kids were getting ready to sit on the carpet for a story. The child looked right at the other child and called the name - I was careful to determine that my child didn't mishear or hear something that was just being said out loud. It was 100% said to my child.

Do I contact the parents, or the teacher, or go see the principle? Or do none of those and just counsel my child on how we don't say that to people and how it's not okay? My concern is that the other child is saying this to other kids and that kids will pick up on it and it will spread. Also concerned with how upset my child is.

Any thoughts on the best course of action or advice on what you would do in this situation?

You should write a brief email directly to the principal, alerting him/ her to investigate the apparent bullying.

DH just told me he caught the principle in the car pool line and mentioned it to her. She was "horrified" and began asking questions and jotting stuff down on her note pad. She's going to look into it. I didn't anticipate him running into her and saying something, but he did, so I guess it is handled now. Of course I'm concerned about backlash and my child being alienated or ostracized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your White Kid got called an "N" word by an AA child?

What "N" word was it?

Nigger. My child was called "nigger" and "cracker" but an African American child, which I cannot wrap my head around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your White Kid got called an "N" word by an AA child?

What "N" word was it?

Nigger. My child was called "nigger" and "cracker" but an African American child, which I cannot wrap my head around.

* BY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you handle a racial slur being made against your elementary aged child if the teacher didn't contact you and your child is upset? This is a white child being called the "N" word by an AA child, he was also called other names. This was in the classroom while the kids were getting ready to sit on the carpet for a story. The child looked right at the other child and called the name - I was careful to determine that my child didn't mishear or hear something that was just being said out loud. It was 100% said to my child.

Do I contact the parents, or the teacher, or go see the principle? Or do none of those and just counsel my child on how we don't say that to people and how it's not okay? My concern is that the other child is saying this to other kids and that kids will pick up on it and it will spread. Also concerned with how upset my child is.

Any thoughts on the best course of action or advice on what you would do in this situation?

You should write a brief email directly to the principal, alerting him/ her to investigate the apparent bullying.

DH just told me he caught the principle in the car pool line and mentioned it to her. She was "horrified" and began asking questions and jotting stuff down on her note pad. She's going to look into it. I didn't anticipate him running into her and saying something, but he did, so I guess it is handled now. Of course I'm concerned about backlash and my child being alienated or ostracized.

Please don't be. That's what bullies do, to try to intimidate others. And that's why I suggested engaging the principal directly, so that she's on top of this. Great your DH had the initiative to share what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you handle a racial slur being made against your elementary aged child if the teacher didn't contact you and your child is upset? This is a white child being called the "N" word by an AA child, he was also called other names. This was in the classroom while the kids were getting ready to sit on the carpet for a story. The child looked right at the other child and called the name - I was careful to determine that my child didn't mishear or hear something that was just being said out loud. It was 100% said to my child.

Do I contact the parents, or the teacher, or go see the principle? Or do none of those and just counsel my child on how we don't say that to people and how it's not okay? My concern is that the other child is saying this to other kids and that kids will pick up on it and it will spread. Also concerned with how upset my child is.

Any thoughts on the best course of action or advice on what you would do in this situation?

You should write a brief email directly to the principal, alerting him/ her to investigate the apparent bullying.

DH just told me he caught the principle in the car pool line and mentioned it to her. She was "horrified" and began asking questions and jotting stuff down on her note pad. She's going to look into it. I didn't anticipate him running into her and saying something, but he did, so I guess it is handled now. Of course I'm concerned about backlash and my child being alienated or ostracized.

Please don't be. That's what bullies do, to try to intimidate others. And that's why I suggested engaging the principal directly, so that she's on top of this. Great your DH had the initiative to share what happened.

I cannot begin to explain how upset and confused my child was. It's really sobering to deal with this and to try to have conversations with a kid about racial slurs and why we don't say that word or call people names.

[Anonymous]

Chances are the little boy learned it from an older sibling. The free use of the n-word by AA teens and white teens is so mainstream now it's like say, "hey man, sup?"

We had to have some talks with DS (14) about that word and even if his black friends call him that, he cannot under any circumstance use it. No, not even with an a on the end instead of er. I've also had to tell his friends that they can't use that word at my house. But like I said, it's so ingrained in their vocab, they don't even realize they're tossing it out there. Playing video games, playing basketball, watching TV... the n-word just flies out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chances are the little boy learned it from an older sibling. The free use of the n-word by AA teens and white teens is so mainstream now it's like say, "hey man, sup?"

We had to have some talks with DS (14) about that word and even if his black friends call him that, he cannot under any circumstance use it. No, not even with an a on the end instead of er. I've also had to tell his friends that they can't use that word at my house. But like I said, it's so ingrained in their vocab, they don't even realize they're tossing it out there. Playing video games, playing basketball, watching TV... the n-word just flies out.

DH and I had considered this but the word was followed up with "cracker" and it was said in a hostile way, not a greeting. More like "youre a N" - I get how desensitized some people can become to the word and how it's used as a greeting, but this was not the context and it still has no place being used amongst 9 & 10 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would you handle a racial slur being made against your elementary aged child if the teacher didn't contact you and your child is upset? This is a white child being called the "N" word by an AA child, he was also called other names. This was in the classroom while the kids were getting ready to sit on the carpet for a story. The child looked right at the other child and called the name - I was careful to determine that my child didn't mishear or hear something that was just being said out loud. It was 100% said to my child.

Do I contact the parents, or the teacher, or go see the principle? Or do none of those and just counsel my child on how we don't say that to people and how it's not okay? My concern is that the other child is saying this to other kids and that kids will pick up on it and it will spread. Also concerned with how upset my child is.

Any thoughts on the best course of action or advice on what you would do in this situation?

I would follow up with the teacher - your DH did not give her a chance to address something that happened in the classroom.

I would also follow up with your child. They are hurtful words no matter who they are said to, and they should not be used.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you handle a racial slur being made against your elementary aged child if the teacher didn't contact you and your child is upset? This is a white child being called the "N" word by an AA child, he was also called other names. This was in the classroom while the kids were getting ready to sit on the carpet for a story. The child looked right at the other child and called the name - I was careful to determine that my child didn't mishear or hear something that was just being said out loud. It was 100% said to my child.

Do I contact the parents, or the teacher, or go see the principle? Or do none of those and just counsel my child on how we don't say that to people and how it's not okay? My concern is that the other child is saying this to other kids and that kids will pick up on it and it will spread. Also concerned with how upset my child is.

Any thoughts on the best course of action or advice on what you would do in this situation?

I would follow up with the teacher - your DH did not give her a chance to address something that happened in the classroom.

I would also follow up with your child. They are hurtful words no matter who they are said to, and they should not be used.

The teacher had a chance to contact us and warn us about what my child may come home and say and explain the situation/what steps she took. I'm wasn't aware DH was going to approach the principle, but at this point I don't think we will contact the teacher as the principle is already involved.