Reality check -- 5th grade girls

[Anonymous]

My DD informs me that popularity (at least in her school, a public school in Bethesda) is measured by why kind of tech (smart phone, ipad, etc.) you have, and which apps you have. She says it's basically all girls talk about during recess, and all the girls are chatting together after school through these apps.

What do you think? Is she right? Or is she snookering me? She seems genuinely upset and says she is having trouble making friends because she can't talk about this stuff with them. She is not particularly sporty -- I think there's another group of girls that is off playing basketball. There may also be a third group of girls that is off talking about boys, but she's not interested in that yet.
We've been pretty strict about screen-time stuff, but I guess I don't feel strongly enough about it to make her a social outcast. I gave her the speech about how some people will always have more than you, how you can't always be chasing what's "cool," how you need to find friends that care about the stuff that really matters (not who has Temple Run or whatever). But, at the end of the day, even though I believe that, I don't want to put her totally outside all the social norms.

Reality check would be appreciated. I'm not great friends with any of the other moms at school, and I'm not comfortable with polling a bunch of people that I'm only moderately friendly with.

[Anonymous]

It seems plausible. My daughter is in 8th grade and that's definitely the case at her middle school even with most 6th graders. According to my sister, a sizable portion of my niece's 4th grade classmates have iPhones/tablets/etc and some but not all of those kids have some social media accounts. Most likely not ALL kids are into this, but I would certainly believe that social status in terms of popularity would be influenced by those factors.

[Anonymous]

Why do 5th graders have iPhones?

You can't have social media accounts until age 13.

[Anonymous]

My 5th grader does text with friends but they don't discuss electronics very often. She uses an old iPhone on wifi. No data plan yet. She likes to watch tv but she would rather be playing with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do 5th graders have iPhones?

You can't have social media accounts until age 13.

Lots of them just lie. Some families find the age limit absurd and won't follow it, and in other cases kids just want the account so they'll fill out the form with whatever they need to say and not care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do 5th graders have iPhones?

You can't have social media accounts until age 13.

Lots of them just lie. Some families find the age limit absurd and won't follow it, and in other cases kids just want the account so they'll fill out the form with whatever they need to say and not care.

And parents don't check the phone? I can't believe this. My daughter is 15 and I still check her phone

[Anonymous]

my dd has 5th and 6th grade friends with musiclly app and over 500 followers each. I said hell no! I don't know what the parents are thinking.

They have lots of other questionable apps too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do 5th graders have iPhones?

You can't have social media accounts until age 13.

Lots of them just lie. Some families find the age limit absurd and won't follow it, and in other cases kids just want the account so they'll fill out the form with whatever they need to say and not care.

And parents don't check the phone? I can't believe this. My daughter is 15 and I still check her phone

Lol, some parents know and have no problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my dd has 5th and 6th grade friends with musiclly app and over 500 followers each. I said hell no! I don't know what the parents are thinking.

They have lots of other questionable apps too

I was going to ask what "musiclly" was but I found this article. For anyone curious - http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/09/17/business/media/a-social-network-frequented-by-children-tests-the-limits-of-online-regulation.html

[Anonymous]

She is right. I heard a 10 year old get made fun of for only having an iPhone 4s. I drive carpool with 5 5th graders they communicate through social media while in my car, no joke . They are only in my car for 15 min max

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is right. I heard a 10 year old get made fun of for only having an iPhone 4s. I drive carpool with 5 5th graders they communicate through social media while in my car, no joke . They are only in my car for 15 min max

Disagree. I have a 5th grader. SHE would like to have more access to electronics and apps but is generally popular without them. Why are you allowing them to communicate through social media in your presence? Which platform?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do 5th graders have iPhones?

You can't have social media accounts until age 13.

Yea you can...you just select an age that is 13 or older. Not quite foolproof...

[Anonymous]

I only have a third grader but it's already pretty obvious which types of parents are which. It wouldn't suprise me if this is happening in two years, but it won't be my daughter. The girls who's parents allow this (or don't know) are not the kinds I want her hanging out with anyway. I can already see the complete lack of oversight in some families.

[Anonymous]

It's not all the girls, but it certainly may be true of the girls she aspires to be with.

Help her find the ones without the premature social media addiction.

[Anonymous]

My oldest is only in 1st - it's hard to believe I'll be dealing with this in just a few years!