Reality check -- 5th grade girls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We ended up letting our children get phones in middle school because social activities were planned through texting and facetime. When we noticed our oldest was being left out, not intentionally just because she didn't have the tools the kids were using to communicate, we adjusted our rules. It's been fine. Our kids don't have the same access as other kids, but we're also not pretending they live in a different reality than they actually live in.

I'd check with other parents and see what's really going on. It's possible your kid is giving you an accurate picture. It's also possible she really wants a phone and is seeing them everywhere because she's looking for them.

Just get them a non-smart phone with texting capabilities then. But most say this and then get them all the bells/whistles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only have a third grader but it's already pretty obvious which types of parents are which. It wouldn't suprise me if this is happening in two years, but it won't be my daughter. The girls who's parents allow this (or don't know) are not the kinds I want her hanging out with anyway. I can already see the complete lack of oversight in some families.

I have a daughter in MS. This post is spot on. There are kids on Snapchat and Instagram as early as 4th-5th grade, and by 2nd-3rd grade you can guess whose parents will be condoning this.

A kid can be well-liked and have a very full social life in ES and MS without social media. Our DD just got a phone in 8th grade, and her friends are a mix of kids with and without phones. Phones and social media use are pervasive but not universal. Thank God.

[Anonymous]

I have a K and this is depressing. We are in CA (moved last year from NOVA) and our elem school has banned kids from bringing devices ,but it only goes up to 5th grade. So 6th is a whole new ball game

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do 5th graders have iPhones?

You can't have social media accounts until age 13.

Lots of them just lie. Some families find the age limit absurd and won't follow it, and in other cases kids just want the account so they'll fill out the form with whatever they need to say and not care.

And parents don't check the phone? I can't believe this. My daughter is 15 and I still check her phone

Even if a parent checks the phone, most would be checking the nature of their kids' posts. Most would not care if their kid has an Instagram account or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We ended up letting our children get phones in middle school because social activities were planned through texting and facetime. When we noticed our oldest was being left out, not intentionally just because she didn't have the tools the kids were using to communicate, we adjusted our rules. It's been fine. Our kids don't have the same access as other kids, but we're also not pretending they live in a different reality than they actually live in.

I'd check with other parents and see what's really going on. It's possible your kid is giving you an accurate picture. It's also possible she really wants a phone and is seeing them everywhere because she's looking for them.

Just get them a non-smart phone with texting capabilities then. But most say this and then get them all the bells/whistles.

It's actually more expensive to get a phone with only call/text capabilities. It shouldn't be, but it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in SF and it's not true out here. In fifth grade and sixth, DD was playing at recess. Now in 8th, phones are not used during school hours even during recess.

And?

You can't extrapolate my point from that? Okay, I'll help. The point is, it's not this way everywhere. You don't have to choose to raise your kids in a place where children who should be playing are instead staring at electronic devices and putting down others who aren't. People have moved for smaller reasons.

[Anonymous]

I really think this kind of crap is only going to be important to the vapid girls. Those with any kind of intellectual curiosity won't give a fig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really think this kind of crap is only going to be important to the vapid girls. Those with any kind of intellectual curiosity won't give a fig.

Exactly. Same with their tart moms who try to be their besties. A bunch of Veruca Salts.

[Anonymous]

My 5th grader has no phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really think this kind of crap is only going to be important to the vapid girls. Those with any kind of intellectual curiosity won't give a fig.

I'm OP, and I've been saying that for years, but I'm starting to think maybe I'm wrong. I'm really not in the "mom circle" but I sort of know who the "vapid" girls are, and my daughter gave up trying to be friends with them years ago. The ones she's talking about are ones that are more the geeky types already. I think the problem really may be that they just don't have a ton to do at recess. It's crowded and there's not enough equipment, so unless you are an uber-sporty girl that is willing to challenge the boys in basketball or fight through the crowds for the monkey bars, you're standing around chit-chatting. And, honestly, they aren't likely to be discussing the causes of the American revolution at recess. They're talking about their scores on Temple Run, or the new overlay they just got for their Sims app or whatever. (It could be worse, I guess --- they could be talking about boys or clothes.) My daughter did start a club at her school, and so they occasionally have club meetings at recess where they talk about the subject of the club, and those days are okay, but I think the other days, she's just feeling lost and shut out of the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do 5th graders have iPhones?

You can't have social media accounts until age 13.

Lots of them just lie. Some families find the age limit absurd and won't follow it, and in other cases kids just want the account so they'll fill out the form with whatever they need to say and not care.

And parents don't check the phone? I can't believe this. My daughter is 15 and I still check her phone

Lol, some parents know and have no problem

If a parent is not checking their child's phone, how would they know if there's a problem or not?

[Anonymous]

After much research, we bought our 7th grader this phone, which she used for texting and phone calls, primarily (it's too clunky for much else):
https://www.verizonwireless.com/basic-phones/cosmos-3/?mlcid=TG|article|click-through|article-body-lg-cosmos-3|13575

I hope this saves someone time. I wanted to wait on her having a smartphone, as do some other parents. I did want her to be able to be in contact with us since she is in a large middle school now (Westland).

[Anonymous]

I will say that in the Capitol Hill DCPS 4th grade class that I'm most familiar with, I'd estimate that 2/3rds of kids have smartphones. This is actually particularly true of the smart/geeky ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really think this kind of crap is only going to be important to the vapid girls. Those with any kind of intellectual curiosity won't give a fig.

I'm OP, and I've been saying that for years, but I'm starting to think maybe I'm wrong. I'm really not in the "mom circle" but I sort of know who the "vapid" girls are, and my daughter gave up trying to be friends with them years ago. The ones she's talking about are ones that are more the geeky types already. I think the problem really may be that they just don't have a ton to do at recess. It's crowded and there's not enough equipment, so unless you are an uber-sporty girl that is willing to challenge the boys in basketball or fight through the crowds for the monkey bars, you're standing around chit-chatting. And, honestly, they aren't likely to be discussing the causes of the American revolution at recess. They're talking about their scores on Temple Run, or the new overlay they just got for their Sims app or whatever. (It could be worse, I guess --- they could be talking about boys or clothes.) My daughter did start a club at her school, and so they occasionally have club meetings at recess where they talk about the subject of the club, and those days are okay, but I think the other days, she's just feeling lost and shut out of the conversation.

i think this is pretty universal and that you're right - its a thing to discuss, as much as anything.