DH is cheating

[Anonymous]

Long story but the essence is that I have evidence that DH who works for the federal government in a position that involves fairly high level security clearances, has been cheating.

It is the one thing that I cannot tolerate and am planning on filing for divorce. It has been a shock to me and I feel traumatized because it was so unexpected. There are young children involved which makes it doubly difficult.

I have heard that adultery is an offense that can affect the security clearance of federal employees. Can anyone offer me guidance as to whether his security clearance is likely to be affected by adultery?

I understand that adultery does not affect the equitable distribution of property for the most part. Yes, I will be retaining a lawyer next week. We live in VA.

[Anonymous]

It could affect his clearance if you didn't know about it. But you know about it, so most likely not.

But another question is this: is it really in your interest to have him lost his clearance and his job and most likely lose his ability to get re-hired? How will he pay alimony and child support in that case?

[Anonymous]

Security clearance could be compromised by adultery

What I would do is use the "threat" of disclosure of adultery to your advantage during divorce negotiations.

Whether you want to disclose and whether disclosure could affect his loss of job (think child support and or alimony) is another story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Security clearance could be compromised by adultery

What I would do is use the "threat" of disclosure of adultery to your advantage during divorce negotiations.

Whether you want to disclose and whether disclosure could affect his loss of job (think child support and or alimony) is another story.

Isn't that called extortion?

[Anonymous]

I would not mess with all that. Why bring more drama. He needs to pay you alimony and child support.

Find a therapist and a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Adultery is only cause to lose your security clearance because it could be used to blackmail the adulterer. Once the wife knows the threat of disclosure has no more power. Especially if you're divorcing anyway.

He's a jerk, but it's in your best interest that he remains employed and able to provide for your children.

[Anonymous]

You need to step outside your anger and realize that if you blow the whistle on his adultery and he loses his clearance and/or fed position, how's he going to pay you child support?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to step outside your anger and realize that if you blow the whistle on his adultery and he loses his clearance and/or fed position, how's he going to pay you child support?

Oh, if she wants to be that vengeful and bitted, just let her find out for herself.

[Anonymous]

Hmm. I didn't read the OP's post that way...thought she was asking if his security clearance would be affected by adultery. All of this about using it against him is a jump some posters are making themselves.

[Anonymous]

He won't lose his clearance due to adultery. Unless it's something he can be blackmailed over. As long as he disclosed the information during the information it shouldn't impact him. Also, the fact that you already know makes him much less susceptible to blackmail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I didn't read the OP's post that way...thought she was asking if his security clearance would be affected by adultery. All of this about using it against him is a jump some posters are making themselves.

+1. I read it as a simple inquiry, even possibly something she wanted to avoid doing (affecting his clearance and job).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Security clearance could be compromised by adultery

What I would do is use the "threat" of disclosure of adultery to your advantage during divorce negotiations.

Whether you want to disclose and whether disclosure could affect his loss of job (think child support and or alimony) is another story.

Isn't that called extortion?

Seriously. PP sounds like a terrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He won't lose his clearance due to adultery. Unless it's something he can be blackmailed over. As long as he disclosed the information during the information it shouldn't impact him. Also, the fact that you already know makes him much less susceptible to blackmail.

+1
The adultery won't have any effect on his job. Frankly the people who cleared him likely knew about his affair before you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I didn't read the OP's post that way...thought she was asking if his security clearance would be affected by adultery. All of this about using it against him is a jump some posters are making themselves.

+1. I read it as a simple inquiry, even possibly something she wanted to avoid doing (affecting his clearance and job).

How else would anyone even know about the adultery to pull the clearance unless she tells them? It doesn't have to be mentioned at all in the divorce filing or proceedings, or even come up to any review board or sponsoring agency. For anyone to find out about the adultery to have it possibly affect his clearance, she would have to tell them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It could affect his clearance if you didn't know about it. But you know about it, so most likely not.

But another question is this: is it really in your interest to have him lost his clearance and his job and most likely lose his ability to get re-hired? How will he pay alimony and child support in that case?

On the latter -- I assume that's the concern, right? She probably doesn't want him to get fired.