DH spends all evening in the bathroom

[Anonymous]

My husband spends at least an hr or more total in the bath room in the evening. Usually 30mins after dinner. Another 20 while the kids are going to bed and another 20 before bed. It's becoming so difficult because if I need him to take care of something while I'm getting one kid to sleep, he can't because he needs another 15-20mins in the bathroom. It's almost always at the exact times every evening too. I think it's becoming an OCD thing because if I mention the time he spends in the bathroom he becomes so angry and says I just don't know how to poop. I also hate that the 1 maybe 2 hours at most we get in the evenings together is always him in the bathroom. The last bathroom addition is new he just started adding in this one about a month ago. I'm about to schedule him a doctor appt if he can't help it but spend that much time in the bathroom in a short period. Anytime he goes to the bathroom even on the weekends it's never less than 20min sometimes upwards of 45mins.

[Anonymous]

Does he have OCD?

[Anonymous]

If he takes his phone he's having an affair

[Anonymous]

Op here-he can get OCD with interests. You know how a kid can get obsessive and want anything everything to do with paw patrol for 3 months and then suddenly he discovers Pj masks and then that's all he talks about for weeks. That's my husband with different things. I've made comments about him being OCD and he jokes and says he is but if I mention the ridiculous hours spent in the bathroom he says I'm exaggerating and he can't help it.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. I don't think it's an affair because I can hear him watching videos in the bathroom and he isn't secretive with his phone/emails/computer/Facebook. He will hand me his phone to reply to texts if he can't or ask me to look stuff up for him and if it was an affair I don't think he'd be comfortable with me doing that.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he's just avoiding responsibility. Or else he needs to see a doctor.

[Anonymous]

He's avoiding the witching hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he's just avoiding responsibility. Or else he needs to see a doctor.

+1. Either he sees a doctor or he stops with the "skipping bedtime to take a crap" crap. It's not fair to leave you to deal with all that by yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I don't think it's an affair because I can hear him watching videos in the bathroom and he isn't secretive with his phone/emails/computer/Facebook. He will hand me his phone to reply to texts if he can't or ask me to look stuff up for him and if it was an affair I don't think he'd be comfortable with me doing that.

Ummm. . . He's watching videos. Why would he want to come out and deal with the kids/you if he can go watch videos and surf the net alone. Maybe ask him not to bring the phone and see if that cuts down on the time he's in there.

[Anonymous]

You can hide access to certain apps and programs so that someone else can't see them if they have your devices. Just FYI. I learned this from a married man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I don't think it's an affair because I can hear him watching videos in the bathroom and he isn't secretive with his phone/emails/computer/Facebook. He will hand me his phone to reply to texts if he can't or ask me to look stuff up for him and if it was an affair I don't think he'd be comfortable with me doing that.

Ummm. . . He's watching videos. Why would he want to come out and deal with the kids/you if he can go watch videos and surf the net alone. Maybe ask him not to bring the phone and see if that cuts down on the time he's in there.

+1 What a child!

Are these videos Buzzfeed links, or maybe it's porn? Because this sounds like an addiction. Not that being addicted to Buzzfeed links would be awesome or anything...

At any rate, "no phones in the bathroom" seems like a reasonable standard.

[Anonymous]

Not sure I understand. Is he literally hiding out in the bathroom watching videos? What is he doing in there?

[Anonymous]

He's an a$$hole shirking his responsibilities.

I think you should leave him with the kids a few nights a week and see how he likes it.

[Anonymous]

What you describe is not OCD. OCD behaviors are not something someone wants to be doing - an intense and addictive hobby is not OCD. I wish people would stop saying that doing something intensely or being colloquial "obsessed" with something is OCD - it's kind of undermining to actual sufferers, of which I am not one but still.

Anyway, he's probably trying to escape and reading, or has a constipation issue and is embarrassed. Or, perhaps he is OCD about behaviors and cleanliness and is trying to cover it up. In any case, all are problems. Sorry you are dealing with this.

[Anonymous]

OP here-He says he is not just staring at his phone and he isn't avoiding anything that it literally takes him that long to go the bathroom. At the same times everyday. I just don't see how this is possible and I become very annoyed with the whole thing.