If your partner cheated, did you?

[Anonymous]

I had crazy sex with my DH in the few days after I found out he cheated, but haven't since (it's been three months). I feel a mixture of emotions toward him most of the time, those at the forefront usually being disdain, fury, and hurt. I simply don't want to have sex with him, and just don't know when I will. Part of me, however, fantasizes about having a revenge affair or fling.

If you did this, how did it turn out? Did you regret it?

[Anonymous]

Mine never cheated but if he did not only would I cheat I would get pregnant too. Then I'd leave.

[Anonymous]

If you're actually interested in staying in the marriage this seems like an unproductive and immature thing to do. I mean, when one of you says something hurtful to the other or makes a mistake do you typically try to get even before forgiving each other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had crazy sex with my DH in the few days after I found out he cheated, but haven't since (it's been three months). I feel a mixture of emotions toward him most of the time, those at the forefront usually being disdain, fury, and hurt. I simply don't want to have sex with him, and just don't know when I will. Part of me, however, fantasizes about having a revenge affair or fling.

If you did this, how did it turn out? Did you regret it?

If my DW cheated on me, I would not cheat in retaliation. But I certainly would insist on a "hall pass" of some sort as a condition of reconciliation.

[Anonymous]

No. I thought about it when I was still mad. But his affair confirmed for me that cheating is a shitty and unkind thing to do to someone, and so I won't. I did take a trip by myself though. No cheating, but using "our" money for my personal pleasure to visit someplace I'd wanted to go.

[Anonymous]

I recently uncovered signs of cheating with my spouse. I am utterly devastated and feel like trust is gone. We have kids so leaving is not an option but I can see the appeal of payback. I think in the end it will be deleterious to the relationship and accomplish little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had crazy sex with my DH in the few days after I found out he cheated, but haven't since (it's been three months). I feel a mixture of emotions toward him most of the time, those at the forefront usually being disdain, fury, and hurt. I simply don't want to have sex with him, and just don't know when I will. Part of me, however, fantasizes about having a revenge affair or fling.

If you did this, how did it turn out? Did you regret it?

No, because I have too much personal integrity for that sort of thing.

[Anonymous]

Yup. And got pregnant. Whoops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup. And got pregnant. Whoops.

I've heard that women are more likely to get impulsive, skip birth control, and cheat when they're ovulating. Was that your situation?

[Anonymous]

Divorced man here - we all cheat in our minds, at least half act on it. Not facts, just experience and yes I acted on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had crazy sex with my DH in the few days after I found out he cheated, but haven't since (it's been three months). I feel a mixture of emotions toward him most of the time, those at the forefront usually being disdain, fury, and hurt. I simply don't want to have sex with him, and just don't know when I will. Part of me, however, fantasizes about having a revenge affair or fling.

If you did this, how did it turn out? Did you regret it?

Uh, what? It sounds like you were turned on by his cheating....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had crazy sex with my DH in the few days after I found out he cheated, but haven't since (it's been three months). I feel a mixture of emotions toward him most of the time, those at the forefront usually being disdain, fury, and hurt. I simply don't want to have sex with him, and just don't know when I will. Part of me, however, fantasizes about having a revenge affair or fling.

If you did this, how did it turn out? Did you regret it?

I dont think you should do it unless you are presently emotionally involved with another man. Dont do a one night stand, you will most likely regret it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had crazy sex with my DH in the few days after I found out he cheated, but haven't since (it's been three months). I feel a mixture of emotions toward him most of the time, those at the forefront usually being disdain, fury, and hurt. I simply don't want to have sex with him, and just don't know when I will. Part of me, however, fantasizes about having a revenge affair or fling.

If you did this, how did it turn out? Did you regret it?

Uh, what? It sounds like you were turned on by his cheating....

That is normal. It's some form of bonding. You can google it. Happens quite often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had crazy sex with my DH in the few days after I found out he cheated, but haven't since (it's been three months). I feel a mixture of emotions toward him most of the time, those at the forefront usually being disdain, fury, and hurt. I simply don't want to have sex with him, and just don't know when I will. Part of me, however, fantasizes about having a revenge affair or fling.

If you did this, how did it turn out? Did you regret it?

OP- how was your sex life before you found out he cheated? Was it a full blown affair or just a one time thing? If you still want to be married then focus energy on reconnecting with DH. Dont make it more complicated by bringing someone else into the mix.

[Anonymous]

A revenge affair would simply bring you down to his level. Take the high road. Whether you stay with him or not is an entirely different issue.