Feeling bad about my 2nd grader being referred to resources

[Anonymous]

I feel really sad that my 2nd grader was referred to resources for reading this year. I feel like it is a failure on my part in helping him keep up and I am worried that he is going to feel stigmatized being in the small resource group.

[Anonymous]

Don't feel bad. He is getting the help he needs to catch up. But this is a time where he could start to not like school, so it's important that you continue to be positive about his work and his progress.

Learning to accept help and work hard, even when something is difficult, is an important life lesson!

[Anonymous]

*Hugs*

There are many, many children that need extra help throughout their school years. This isn't a reflection of your parenting or of your child's intelligence. He may make some wonderful friends in the smaller group, and getting him help now will set a strong foundation for the years to come.

[Anonymous]

Don't feel badly.

I have three kids. One a very early fluent reader (dcum reading at 3-4 variety), on who started reading overnight in kindergarten and is a voracious reader, and one who still struggles in reading and hates to read.

Some kids have a hard time with reading. The reading specialists do a good job either getting them reading or figuring out if there is something more going on.

Nowadays there are kids getting constantly pulled out and pushed into classes for all sorts of reasons: special ed, reading, speech, acceleration, GT, counseling.

No one will really notice in second grade that your kid is getting pulled out.

In fact, until the very end of second my struggling reader felt very certain that getting pulled out for reading was a special treat. The kids that age are all envious of kids who seem to be getting any sort of extra attention, even reading help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*Hugs*

There are many, many children that need extra help throughout their school years. This isn't a reflection of your parenting or of your child's intelligence. He may make some wonderful friends in the smaller group, and getting him help now will set a strong foundation for the years to come.

It will be okay. I was an immigrant and was in special Ed throughout elementary school. I don't remember my parents ever looking at my report card or enriching me with anything (not their fault, they were working around the clock to put food on the table!) I was not a very motivated student until 7th grade and even managed to graduate valedictorian in a high performing high school. Keep things positive for your son. Make sure you sit down and spend some time reading to each other everyday and things will be okay.

[Anonymous]

Students are pulled out all the time for many different reasons. My son has special needs for which he needed pull-outs and despite understanding the whole process never once cared about stigma. He had various friends, who were not in pull-out classes, and it didn't matter one bit.

[Anonymous]

Some kids just 'get' reading a bit later. My daughter struggled with reading until the 3rd grade when it just clicked suddenly. She's now in high school and loves to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't feel bad. He is getting the help he needs to catch up. But this is a time where he could start to not like school, so it's important that you continue to be positive about his work and his progress.

Learning to accept help and work hard, even when something is difficult, is an important life lesson!

It's a great thing! He'll have the support he needs to get good grades. It's not a failure.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, OP, no one notices. The idea of your child being stigmatized is the last thing you should be worrying about. There are always some kids that get enrichment pullouts because they are above grade level and always some that get pullouts for additional help. I volunteer at our school a lot and for the most part have no clue who is getting pulled out for what and neither do the kids.

You should consider yourself lucky that your child is getting extra help. I know a lot of moms who fight to try to get that kind of support but many schools won't provide it even if a child is clearly struggling and behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, no one notices. The idea of your child being stigmatized is the last thing you should be worrying about. There are always some kids that get enrichment pullouts because they are above grade level and always some that get pullouts for additional help. I volunteer at our school a lot and for the most part have no clue who is getting pulled out for what and neither do the kids.

You should consider yourself lucky that your child is getting extra help. I know a lot of moms who fight to try to get that kind of support but many schools won't provide it even if a child is clearly struggling and behind.

I don't think this is true. I think the kids do know. BUT, it is so different than we were growing up because there is such a large variety of special services that a large chunk of the class gets. Both my kids have been to speech therapy for articulation problems (outside of school), one has been to therapy for anxiety, the same one needs some extra help so we do outside tutoring. Then there are the ESOL kids, the kids that have been to OT, the kids on the spectrum that need social skills training; the ADHD kids that have special accommodations of some kind to help their focus. It's just MUCH more prevalent for kids to be receiving some kind of special help or therapy. I understand your concern but honestly, you add all those "differences" up and it's close to half the school. Handle this matter-of-factly with your kid and feel free to point out all those things that others need that he doesn't. Everyone is different!

[Anonymous]

OP, I was pulled out for reading help in elementary school. For whatever reason I struggled in 4th grade all year. Went on to do fine, attended a competitive private high school and then a top-10 college.

Kids aren't even- they ebb and flow. Don't worry about it, it will be fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, no one notices. The idea of your child being stigmatized is the last thing you should be worrying about. There are always some kids that get enrichment pullouts because they are above grade level and always some that get pullouts for additional help. I volunteer at our school a lot and for the most part have no clue who is getting pulled out for what and neither do the kids.

You should consider yourself lucky that your child is getting extra help. I know a lot of moms who fight to try to get that kind of support but many schools won't provide it even if a child is clearly struggling and behind.

Me! I wish my child who has articulation issues was getting pulled out for speech but she doesn't qualify, even though she gets teased and isn't always understood.

[Anonymous]

Hugs, OP.

I would try to take the opposite view - how lucky is he that the teacher quickly (its still September!!) recognized he was falling behind AND you have such an amazing school that can provide such individualized services. All of those resources are intended to help keep kids on track - and hopefully, he'll be right back where he belongs by the end of the year.

[Anonymous]

The only reason you should feel bad is that you didn't advocate for help for him sooner. Seriously, whatever the issue with reading is, it's well beyond your parenting skills. They don't assign resources willy nilly.

So rejoice he's getting help.

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel any better I have 2 teacher friends and both of them have kids needing extra help. One is a speech therapist at school and her son gets speech therapy. The other is a regular teacher and her son gets pulled out for reading. It's nothing to blame yourself for OP- some kids need extra help and your child is fortunate to be in a school where it is available.