Feeling bad about my 2nd grader being referred to resources

[Anonymous]

I guarantee he will feel more stigmatized and worse if he stays in the classroom and doesn't understand what's going on and falls farther behind.

Getting help is a good thing, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, please embrace the help! How wonderful that the school referred him for extra services in 2nd grade. That is usually the last year of "learning to read" in school. Next year, it switches to "reading to learn" and it is very hard to keep up with that if you are still struggling with reading itself.

[Anonymous]

Another mom of a kid w/ dyslexia here...OP, it took awhile for me to settle in to the reality of being the mom of a kid who struggled (he felt so bad about himself I ached for him! and what did it mean about me? what would the road ahead look like? how could I help him through?) and my kid DID totally hate school, resist extra support, and feel different from his peers. Well, he IS different. He's a bright kid who learns differently. So that is the line we take w/ him. We find ways for him to stay connected to his peers, advocate for himself, and do things that he's good at so his confidence doesn't go totally down the drain. So far it's working.

(And his reading delay IS NOT because of my parenting. My daughter reads like a champ. It's pure genetics from his dad. So we also talk a lot about all the strengths that come w/ learning differently. He and his dad are both athletic, good with their hands, have amazing memories, and can kick my ass in Connect 4 on a regular basis.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, no one notices. The idea of your child being stigmatized is the last thing you should be worrying about. There are always some kids that get enrichment pullouts because they are above grade level and always some that get pullouts for additional help. I volunteer at our school a lot and for the most part have no clue who is getting pulled out for what and neither do the kids.

You should consider yourself lucky that your child is getting extra help. I know a lot of moms who fight to try to get that kind of support but many schools won't provide it even if a child is clearly struggling and behind.

I don't think this is true. I think the kids do know. BUT, it is so different than we were growing up because there is such a large variety of special services that a large chunk of the class gets. Both my kids have been to speech therapy for articulation problems (outside of school), one has been to therapy for anxiety, the same one needs some extra help so we do outside tutoring. Then there are the ESOL kids, the kids that have been to OT, the kids on the spectrum that need social skills training; the ADHD kids that have special accommodations of some kind to help their focus. It's just MUCH more prevalent for kids to be receiving some kind of special help or therapy. I understand your concern but honestly, you add all those "differences" up and it's close to half the school. Handle this matter-of-factly with your kid and feel free to point out all those things that others need that he doesn't. Everyone is different!

Not in 2nd grade. My kid gets pulled out with a small group 1x a week for speech and with a small group 1x a week for math. Speech is with the resource teacher and math with an aide for for enrichment. There are kids asking if they can go with both groups and don't seem to notice the difference. All they seem to notice is that it's more "fun" to leave the classroom. Lots of well-liked, well-adjusted kids in both groups.

[Anonymous]

ESOL teacher here. Kids are pulled out frequently at my school for different reasons so I doubt there will be any stigma attached to your child. In fact, many native English speaking students ask me to pull them out because they get more teacher attention.

[Anonymous]

OP I understand and it will be ok. You don't need to feel guilty or bad. Its not forever and he will get whatever help he needs this way, which is wonderful, actually.

Also I reported the nasty posts to Jeff. Totally OTT and unnecessary behavior.

[Anonymous]

My DS got extra reading help last year when he was in 1st. I was so glad that he got the help. We already knew he was struggling with reading since we were working with him at home. We worked with him all summer and he is at grade level now. We are getting him a reading tutor to get him to the finish line. It seems as though all his friends are reading fluently in 2nd while DS is still on early reader books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel really sad that my 2nd grader was referred to resources for reading this year. I feel like it is a failure on my part in helping him keep up and I am worried that he is going to feel stigmatized being in the small resource group.

I'm wondering how much of this is because, before it happened to you, assumed that kids who needed 'resources' must have parents who didn't do enough with their kids or that something must be 'wrong' with those kids........

[Anonymous]

Be grateful your kid is getting that help. Sometimes schools shuffle such issues under the rug.

- Mom of a kid w/ IEP

[Anonymous]

Resources is a great thing OP! Be happy they saw your child needed some extra attention and he's getting it. You'll both be happier in the long run when he moves forward with confidence. It is not a fault on your part your kid needs some extra help.

[Anonymous]

Don't feel bad! My 2 DDs have the same parents, went to the same daycare, same school, they even share a bunk bed. The older one was beginning to read at age 3 (as I was as a child) and the younger one just started reading at the end of 2nd grade. She was put in an afterschool tutoring group and it helped her gain a lot of ground in reading last spring. Different kids need different support. You are lucky to get the extra help.

[Anonymous]

I'd be so happy that they identified my child could use more help and they are helping. It's not like he's never going to learn to read. Don't be sad be over the moon happy.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here! Easier said than done, but try not to feel bad! Be grateful that your school has resources and your child is being supported. Kids are pulled out for everything these days: reading, social skills, etc etc etc. Your child will be fine! In fact, they'll be better than ever!

[Anonymous]

Don't feel bad! My son didn't read until the second half of second grade -- and now he's a voracious reader and taking honors English in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Early intervention is the key! By getting him the help he needs now, while he is young, he has a better chance of future success. This is in no way a reflection of your success as a parent. There is a possibility that he will be stigmatized by peers, but hopefully he has an adequate support system between teachers, peers, and other adults who want to help him succeed. Fortunately there are early interventions in place that can only help him in the long run.