Help me create dating rules for 16 yr old DD, please!

[Anonymous]

She's never shown any interest in dating and we thought she'd be one to wait until college..until now. She wants to date someone from school and go on dates. Please help me set some ground rules and identify what is normal and what's not.

[Anonymous]

Curfew, limits on dates during the week. Cannot be in your house in bedroom with the door closed.

What else is there?

[Anonymous]

You have to meet the boy or girl. Your DD must date in a group (even if it's just a double-date). Your DD needs to be able to tell you what an emotionally abusive relationship looks like, and what the signs of it are and how to ask for help to get out.

[Anonymous]

If you haven't had the sex talk, it's time to do it. And I don't mean the birds and the bees version and yes even if she had it in school. Reinforcing that while abstinence is the best policy, you understand she's a teenager and that you will always be there if something were to happen and that she should not be afraid to tell you. Tell her about consent and reinforce that she shouldn't do anything just to make her boyfriend like her, it's not worth it. Talk everything -- all types of sex not just intercourse. Buy her a box of condoms and get her on the pill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curfew, limits on dates during the week. Cannot be in your house in bedroom with the door closed.

What else is there?

What's a reasonable curfew?

Also, am I supposed to allow him to pick her up or can I just drop her off where they're going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to meet the boy or girl. Your DD must date in a group (even if it's just a double-date). Your DD needs to be able to tell you what an emotionally abusive relationship looks like, and what the signs of it are and how to ask for help to get out.

So no one on one dates? Even just dinner or movie? Until what age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curfew, limits on dates during the week. Cannot be in your house in bedroom with the door closed.

What else is there?

What's a reasonable curfew?

Also, am I supposed to allow him to pick her up or can I just drop her off where they're going?

9 during week, 11 on weekends

How long has he been driving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to meet the boy or girl. Your DD must date in a group (even if it's just a double-date). Your DD needs to be able to tell you what an emotionally abusive relationship looks like, and what the signs of it are and how to ask for help to get out.

So no one on one dates? Even just dinner or movie? Until what age?

That seems more appropriate for a younger high schooler. At 16, they should be able to have one-on-one dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curfew, limits on dates during the week. Cannot be in your house in bedroom with the door closed.

What else is there?

What's a reasonable curfew?

Also, am I supposed to allow him to pick her up or can I just drop her off where they're going?

9 during week, 11 on weekends

How long has he been driving?

He's 17 (they're in the same grade though).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curfew, limits on dates during the week. Cannot be in your house in bedroom with the door closed.

What else is there?

What's a reasonable curfew?

Also, am I supposed to allow him to pick her up or can I just drop her off where they're going?

9 during week, 11 on weekends

How long has he been driving?

So, week night outings are common?

[Anonymous]

Mine isn't in high school yet, but I have to say I had extremely strict parents in the 80s and I think they let me go on one on one dates and stay out till midnight at least sometimes (eg a 9 pm movie that wouldn't get out until after 11, then drive home below the speed limit would be at least 11:30).
On a weeknight, no dates unless there was some special reason, though. I can't remember having dates on week nights unless they were study related.

[Anonymous]

I agree with what's been posted, but absolutely no driving her.

[Anonymous]

It's always more empowering if your DD drives herself. She can say, "date over" and leave, at any time. Especially if (maybe in the future) they are going to go to a party. Teen girls should meet their date there. Teen girls typically are more cautious.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to create these "dating rules" based on what the rules/vales in your family are. Not what internet strangers tell you based on their family values.

Curfew for instance--what is her normal curfew when out w friends? Why would a "dating curfew" be different? Same with riding with friends, going out on school nights for non-school related activities, etc.

[Anonymous]

Secret to cooling things down if at anytime you are concerned ... invite the young man to dinner. Let it be known that it will be a rather formal sit-down family dinner. If the young man is treating the relationship with your daughter casually he will hate the thought of this. It will send him fleeing.