Help me create dating rules for 16 yr old DD, please!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine are not old enough for this yet but the rules MY mom set me at 13 were these

No dating anyone more than 2 years older
Get home by 11pm or call to say where and how you're getting home and when.
No BFs in the bedroom.

This sounds right to me. The other is that no matter where, when or why, DD or DS can call us to get her. That doesn't only apply to dates but to friends as well.

[Anonymous]

Come up with a phrase with your daughter. (We use "No, mom, I don't have any French homework to do tonight".) She knows that she can call me at whatever time and use this phrase. If I hear the phrase, I drop everything and come get her right now, and she won't get punished for anything that happened out of her control for where she was or what she was doing.

She's used this twice: first when her ride got high at a party, and she didn't feel comfortable waiting at what turned out to be a stoner party for somebody sober to drive her home. She didn't get in trouble for being there.

Second time she used it after drinking some wine coolers at a party and getting sick. She didn't want to be embarrassed by her friends about not being able to hold her liquor/didn't want to puke on something important, she called to get a ride. She got in trouble for the underage drinking (which she expected).

[Anonymous]

Curfews, phonetime, will he be allowed at the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teenager most of the sexual activity I had with my GF were in the first floor den of her parents house. I would come over for dinner, we would all watch a movie or show after dinner and inevitably her parents would get tired and go upstairs.

Point being restricting where she can go with him and dictating doors being open or closed is not really going to change behavior in the grand scheme of things.

Ah, yes! I remember it well! Also, your basement. And, your living room after school when your parents were at work.

As a mom of a teen DD now, ugh, with a BF, we do not allow her to take her BF up to her room, ever. We have younger children and so have made this clear.
I'm not naive, but if DH and I are home with the younger ones (and we always are), DD and BF are often in the midst of chaos, not off alone, impossible in our house. They can be down in the basement, but one of the kids will likely follow. I also stay up late and never retreat to my room if DD and BF are here.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Thank you all so very much! How do you handle phone time? What parameters should I put on that?

[Anonymous]

Most of these restriction are a load of crap. They are similar to airport "security" in that it is more of a show than adding real security.

Hope that you taught her well and that she does the right things.

She is only a couple years from college. I selfishly loved girls from overprotective homes while in college. Most of these girls turned into sluts prett quick!

[Anonymous]

I used to screw my high school and college boyfriends in the basement and theater room – while my parents were home. Very rarely in my bed unless I was sure my parents were gone for an extended period of time.

[Anonymous]

I remember literally pulling off the the side of the road a half a block from our house and going to town right then and there. Another popular location was the country club parking lot, which was empty during the off-season. Security busted us once.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a set of hard and fast rules except they have to take their cellphone and leave it on. Everything depends on who, what, where, and when. I require that my kids make their own plans and that they have a plan. So when they want to go out, I need to know who, how they are getting there (I allow public transportation and I will drive. Rarely do the kids drive together because a kid has to be almost 17 to drive other kids legally), who is paying for what, and whether they have considered physical contact (what are they comfortable with, have they discussed this with the date and what is the plan if things go farther than they are comfortable with - definitely a conversation provoking inquiry).

[Anonymous]

If she is 16 and you are pretty sure that she is naive and inexperienced stick to these rules;

1. Kissing is ok.

2. he can feel from the waist up

3. nothing below the waist

4. to get out of a situation a hand job will always work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is 16 and you are pretty sure that she is naive and inexperienced stick to these rules;

1. Kissing is ok.

2. he can feel from the waist up

3. nothing below the waist

4. to get out of a situation a hand job will always work.

Audible laughter.

[Anonymous]

Yall are permissive.

[Anonymous]

Know a guy who had a daughter that could have been a super model at sixteen. When boys would come over to pick her up he would call them into his office.
He would let the young men know that he understand his daughter was attractive as young men they probably had desires that were hard to control. He would let them know that he understood their predicament and that he too was once a young man. As an older man now he had a very realistic view of the world and understood that he understand they were going to act like teenagers and that there was nothing he could do. He would tell them that they could do anything they want with his daughter and give them graphic examples. And then once the boy was at ease and thought he was the greatest dad ever he would politely explain to them that he had one rule. What ever they did to his daughter he would do to them.
The stories about the pure terror that would come across the boys face were priceless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Know a guy who had a daughter that could have been a super model at sixteen. When boys would come over to pick her up he would call them into his office.
He would let the young men know that he understand his daughter was attractive as young men they probably had desires that were hard to control. He would let them know that he understood their predicament and that he too was once a young man. As an older man now he had a very realistic view of the world and understood that he understand they were going to act like teenagers and that there was nothing he could do. He would tell them that they could do anything they want with his daughter and give them graphic examples. And then once the boy was at ease and thought he was the greatest dad ever he would politely explain to them that he had one rule. What ever they did to his daughter he would do to them.
The stories about the pure terror that would come across the boys face were priceless.

I remember my dad trying to scare boys. They'd pretend to be scared while they were just on the inside. You either spent years 0-16 raising a girl who values herself or you didn't. A warning to a horny teenage boy isn't going to make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Know a guy who had a daughter that could have been a super model at sixteen. When boys would come over to pick her up he would call them into his office.
He would let the young men know that he understand his daughter was attractive as young men they probably had desires that were hard to control. He would let them know that he understood their predicament and that he too was once a young man. As an older man now he had a very realistic view of the world and understood that he understand they were going to act like teenagers and that there was nothing he could do. He would tell them that they could do anything they want with his daughter and give them graphic examples. And then once the boy was at ease and thought he was the greatest dad ever he would politely explain to them that he had one rule. What ever they did to his daughter he would do to them.
The stories about the pure terror that would come across the boys face were priceless.

I remember my dad trying to scare boys. They'd pretend to be scared while they were just on the inside. You either spent years 0-16 raising a girl who values herself or you didn't. A warning to a horny teenage boy isn't going to make a difference.

Knowing how crazy he was I think he meant it. He was 6'4" and about 300 lbs.