Why do men allow themselves to be jerked around?
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Anonymous
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Just ranting cause I am so mad. Have male friend with son that is dating girl that lives 4 hours away with a child. They met online and he goes back and forth every other weekend to visit her. 4 hours up and 4 hours back. He had a really bad week with his son being sick him having to have serious dental work done and having to give up vacation out west due to hospitalization. 10:30 at night I get call to come up an hour away to be with him and son at hospital ER while he is worked up. I have had to my eye appointments for him when he had some sort of goop falling out of his eyes and this is after spending a weekend with her(who by the way is trying to get into nursing school). She couldn't even figure out to get him to an Urgent Care while he was there. Now I am making follow up appointments for son. She doesn't work, she isn't in school...where is this cow? Why isn't she down here tending to a man she claims to love. Am I wrong but isn't that what you do for the people you love? You come and help them in a time of crisis? She comes down to visit only when things are just perfect, she strings him along by saying "I love you" and things like that but she doesn't show up when needed. I am starting to get pissed at him for being so gullible. She is walking up on 40, has a child , no career skills, and just now trying to get into nursing school and can't pass the damn math test to get in. He is willing to have her come and live in his home and get through school and support her and she can't show up during a week of crisis. Can't figure out to make appointments to follow up, nothing.
Am I crazy or is he being jerked around by this chick...I am now done ranting |
Anonymous
| Goes both ways. Some women let men jerk them around. Low self esteem? |
Anonymous
| Are you under the impression that women are more often responsible for taking advantage of men? |
Anonymous
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I don't know what the relationship is like between these two... and frankly neither do you. What I do know is...
STAY OUT OF IT. It never ends well for the meddler. |
Anonymous
| OP here - I am not deluding myself. For every man that is being jerked around there is a woman. I think the previous poster is also right that this is a self esteem issue. But that is actually unfathomable in this case. This is a tall, buff , gorgeous guy. It is hysterical to be in a room with other women and watch them pitch themselves across a room at him. If this guy has self esteem issues then there is no help for the rest of us. |
Anonymous
Posting on DCUM is about as much meddling as I am doing. When asked for help I help beyond that I keep my opinion to myself. |
Anonymous
| Is she hawt? |
Anonymous
Yeah she is "hot" and I think that is some of the motivation behind him letting her jerk him around, but how long can that last? |
Anonymous
| OP, heading to emerg to be with him, making eye appointments, being so involved... Are you just upset that you're in the friend zone? Why aren't you two together? |
Anonymous
Good thinking. |
Anonymous
I don't get why you are blaming her for his decisions, or taking it personally. If she is not treating him well all the time (your examples are debatable since she lives so far away, has a kid, and can't be at his doorstep at the drop of a hat), he has motivations for overlooking that. Or maybe he doesn't think he's being jerked around. Maybe it won't last, maybe it will. He would be far from the first person to choose a partner that his friends don't like. |
Anonymous
I am not in a friend zone. I am his friend and nothing more. More like a sister to him than anything else. Big age difference. |
Anonymous
+1. The only person in this scenerio who seems to be getting jerked around here is OP. |
Anonymous
I do blame her for this cause she is the one telling him she loves him and she knows that just lures him in even more. Yes I agree he is mostly to blame for this cause he is allowing it. She has a support system where she is and the child has many folks he can be with for her to make the trip and help out. He ask me routinely if her hesitancy to commit to things is a problem. I try to be supportive and give her the benefit of the doubt but this week just set me off. |
Anonymous
I want to see him married and happy but he makes the worst decision about women. He will be walking up on his 3rd marriage this time around. I want him to do it right and be the last marriage. I am not being jerked around if you look at me as a sister. I am doing what you would do for your little brother. |