My husband hates women..and everyone else
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Anonymous
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Over the past few years, my husband has gotten more and more racist, homophobic, and misogynistic. He refers to women exclusively as b*tches and c*nts. I am embarrassed to go out in public with him, because he can't get through a trip to the grocery store without using a derogatory ethnic, misogynistic or homophobic slur. He'll both say things in the car (when the target of his comment can't hear him), or he'll say it to their faces. He doesn't care who hears him.
I've asked him to stop repeatedly. I've told him that it embarrasses me. I've told him that it could hurt him professionally, if someone from work hears him. I have reminded him that our preschooler is in the car and can hear him. We're new to the area, and I have told him it may be the reason why we haven't made any friends yet. He continues, if he doesn't get worse. Last night he told me out of the blue that this country started going downhill when it became illegal to beat your wife and kids. What do I even say in response to that? I'm getting to the point where I don't think I can go on like this anymore. Even though he isn't saying things directly about me (he has only called me a b*tch when we're arguing), I still feel like he doesn't respect me. And it kills me to know that our child is being exposed to this. How do I even begin to deal with this? |
Anonymous
| You divorce him. For sure. |
Anonymous
| And what about our child? This behavior isn't going to stop when I'm not there. In fact, he will be so angry, it will most likely get worse. |
Anonymous
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Why did you marry him? Did you not see any of these terrible statements and behaviors before you got married?
How old is your child? |
Anonymous
| Was he always a hateful jerk and it's only becoming more obvious now or is this totally new behavior? |
Anonymous
| You should not remain married to this man and you should do everything you can to shield your child from his hate-spewing. |
Anonymous
| What does he do for a living? |
Anonymous
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Please get out. There is absolutely no fixing this. Please don't subject your child(ren) to this. Please don't perpetuate the cycle.
You matter. You're worth way more than this. |
Anonymous
This is very important to figure out. If it is sudden change in behaviour, could be medical issue is behind this (early onset Alzheimers. etc.) Not the best scenario either, just a thought... |
Anonymous
Your child will be harmed a lot more by watching their mother be treated like garbage and putting up with it. My father was a disrespectful, angry douchebag my entire childhood and it took me years to unlearn a lot of the crap I internalized from that because I thought it was totally normal. My mom stayed with him, rarely pushed back on his nonsense, so I thought it was ok. If your kid has at least one parent saying "this is not acceptable, this is not how good people behave" they'll be so much better for it. |
Anonymous
| He sounds horrible. |
Anonymous
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1. He shouldn't be calling you a bitch even when arguing. That is so disrespectful
2. He seems angry. I knew someone who started to behave this way. He was angry because of something at work. That anger and unhappiness affected how he viewed the world and life in general. He hasn't hit you, but sounds to me like it could certainly end up this way. Get him to therapy. If that doesn't help or he refuses, I agree with a PP - you should divorce him, and try to get primary custody. And try not to leave him alone with the kid. I shudder to think what he will expose to your child. |
Anonymous
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Child is 4. We only have one, because I was waiting for this issue to resolve before I got pregnant again.
He was always somewhat macho (liked violent movies, told dirty jokes, etc), but the hate is a newer behavior. It probably started two or three years ago, but we were in the thick of early parenthood, so I can't say exactly when. |
Anonymous
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Is he on drugs or an alcoholic? Something has changed in him...maybe he's depressed? I can't imagine anyone would want to be like that. I would get out while the going is good or insist on therapy (he sounds like the type who wouldn't go).
Be careful. He could hurt you or your child. Someone could shoot him if he says the wrong thing to the wrong person |
Anonymous
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He is an accountant.
I am not sure I could get primary custody. From what I hear, courts usually award 50/50. |