Who is responsible for getting a babysitter?

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM with a volunteer commitment that has regular, predictable evening obligations that are on the calendar months in advance. DH works a fairly predictable 40 hours a week, except when he has to travel. When his travel is at the same time as my evening commitment, is it reasonable of me to ask that he take some of the responsibility of finding a babysitter? He says he can't because he "isnt in the habit" of checking our online calendar.

Clearly if we can't find a babysitter his work travel takes priority, so that's not what this question is about.

[Anonymous]

You are the SAHM, you.

[Anonymous]

I think you are responsible because yours is lesser time. He doesnt have an option to do work travel either its part of his job.
Now if he wanted to go out for happy hour on a night when you have a commitment then I think he should help out with finding a sitter.

[Anonymous]

Either one. You share the kids, it is a shared responsibility. If he isn't good at it, just do it so you know it is taken care of.

Personally, I think the person who will be there and paying the sitter is the best person to do it. Having someone who won't be there arranging on your behalf is a pain all around, especially for the sitter.

[Anonymous]

You should, but I will say his reason is bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Wow I would think your husband has enough on his plate with work and its associated travel. You should either find a sitter or skip the volunteer obligation. Why do you think your commitment outside of the family is more important than your husband's commitment to providing for the family? I'm SAHM btw.

[Anonymous]

You.

[Anonymous]

If you stay home you have more time to do this than he does, I would presume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM with a volunteer commitment that has regular, predictable evening obligations that are on the calendar months in advance. DH works a fairly predictable 40 hours a week, except when he has to travel. When his travel is at the same time as my evening commitment, is it reasonable of me to ask that he take some of the responsibility of finding a babysitter? He says he can't because he "isnt in the habit" of checking our online calendar.

Clearly if we can't find a babysitter his work travel takes priority, so that's not what this question is about.

No, it isn't reasonable for you to ask him to find a babysitter so you can volunteer while he works to provide for your family.

[Anonymous]

I SAH with a toddler and a baby and my husband is responsible for finding sitters, making appointments, etc because he's able to make a phone call uninterrupted!

[Anonymous]

You're a SAHM, so your job is literally to manage the children and the household. You can't be bothered to look a week ahead and call your two regular sitters?

[Anonymous]

While his reason is stupid, you are a SAHM to take care of the kids. This falls clearly in the child caretaker/home management gig you signed on for. That's your job, because you would say that you don't work, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While his reason is stupid, you are a SAHM to take care of the kids. This falls clearly in the child caretaker/home management gig you signed on for. That's your job, because you wouldn't say that you don't work, right?

[Anonymous]

Volunteering doesn't bring home income. The income that provides you shelter and food on the table for you and your kids. At the very least you should oversee the babysitting arrangements. Is there any reason why the nob-working 25/7/365 spouse cannot make the phone calls.This most be a D.C metro thing where sahm shouldn't do much work at home. This mindset is why divorced sahm struggle to adapt in the real world on their own. Smh!

[Anonymous]

You are a SAHM, your job is running the household, his is running a business. Your volunteering hobby is your job to find coverage for. Always.