Tired of the DC thing

[Anonymous]

I have been living in the DC area for 10 years, working at a large gov contractor. Lately I've been getting tired of doing the "DC thing"--you know, paying a large amount of money for a small, old house with mediocre schools, huge day care costs, commuting, corporate rat race, and going after gov contracts year after year. The thought of doing this for another 20 to 25 years until I retire depresses me a lot.

I have been spending a lot of time fantasizing about having a different kind of life--maybe owing my own business and living in a different place. Unfortunately, I have basically been doing the same thing my entire career and feel I don't know how to do anything else. Maybe I'm just going through a mid life crisis? Has anyone successfully broken away from the DC thing? How did you take the first step?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been living in the DC area for 10 years, working at a large gov contractor. Lately I've been getting tired of doing the "DC thing"--you know, paying a large amount of money for a small, old house with mediocre schools, huge day care costs, commuting, corporate rat race, and going after gov contracts year after year. The thought of doing this for another 20 to 25 years until I retire depresses me a lot.

I have been spending a lot of time fantasizing about having a different kind of life--maybe owing my own business and living in a different place. Unfortunately, I have basically been doing the same thing my entire career and feel I don't know how to do anything else. Maybe I'm just going through a mid life crisis? Has anyone successfully broken away from the DC thing? How did you take the first step?

Anecdote alert, but I know a handful of friends who ended up doing this (breaking out of DC-Gov Consulting, namely). For them, it boiled down to a test of willpower and willingness to leave the comfort zone. Save some change and make the jump. If you hesitate or get cold feet more often than not, you'll probably never make the jump.

Those friends are now in a variety of industries, vaguely related to their work here in Washington. One in Pharma in northern NJ, one in commercial RE in Richmond (this guy actually just picked up and left DC without anything lined up), and two of them left to start their own small consulting firm in Boston (they are doing moderately well). You really just need to be willing to take a risk and commit to it.

[Anonymous]

We feel the same way. Can't say we've done it successfully yet as we're still here, but we have made a plan to get out and we're taking steps to make it happen.

For starters, we've saving. It's most likely that one of us will get a job before the other does, so we'd like a bit of an extra cushion when we transition.

We also met with a realtor who has given us suggestions to make our DC home more marketable when the time comes to sell. We are slowly making those changes as we can afford them.

As for work, DH has the more marketable skill set. (I'm pretty specialized.) So he's been networking with folks in various industries related to his current job - including cold-calling and contacting people from school, recruiters, etc. That's giving him a better sense of the firms, jobs, and market for people with his education outside DC.

I'm pretty risk averse, so in your shoes, where you want to move and possibly become your own boss, I'd probably focus on determining 2-3 places where I might want to live. Then, research the major industries and employers in those areas. Figure out how your skill sets align with demand where you want to go, and look for opportunities to grow in your current position so you're setting yourself up for the next job. I'd probably jump to a new job in the new location before starting the business, so you can see what opportunities there are on the ground there first. However, if there's something you really want to do, then start the business where you are and move with it.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

We did it, with mixed results. Moved somewhere that we love living--much better quality of life. I left government and all teh headaches behind. But I dislike my job and i'm specialized, so now I'm faced with staying here in a place that is much better for our family but I do not like my job and feel stuck there, or move again, or (hopefully) find something in the area that is better than what I have (not too many options, but something will come up in the next few years).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been living in the DC area for 10 years, working at a large gov contractor. Lately I've been getting tired of doing the "DC thing"--you know, paying a large amount of money for a small, old house with mediocre schools, huge day care costs, commuting, corporate rat race, and going after gov contracts year after year. The thought of doing this for another 20 to 25 years until I retire depresses me a lot.

I have been spending a lot of time fantasizing about having a different kind of life--maybe owing my own business and living in a different place. Unfortunately, I have basically been doing the same thing my entire career and feel I don't know how to do anything else. Maybe I'm just going through a mid life crisis? Has anyone successfully broken away from the DC thing? How did you take the first step?

Anecdote alert, but I know a handful of friends who ended up doing this (breaking out of DC-Gov Consulting, namely). For them, it boiled down to a test of willpower and willingness to leave the comfort zone. Save some change and make the jump. If you hesitate or get cold feet more often than not, you'll probably never make the jump.

Those friends are now in a variety of industries, vaguely related to their work here in Washington. One in Pharma in northern NJ, one in commercial RE in Richmond (this guy actually just picked up and left DC without anything lined up), and two of them left to start their own small consulting firm in Boston (they are doing moderately well). You really just need to be willing to take a risk and commit to it.

If you don't like the DC rat race, Boston is not going to be much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been living in the DC area for 10 years, working at a large gov contractor. Lately I've been getting tired of doing the "DC thing"--you know, paying a large amount of money for a small, old house with mediocre schools, huge day care costs, commuting, corporate rat race, and going after gov contracts year after year. The thought of doing this for another 20 to 25 years until I retire depresses me a lot.

I have been spending a lot of time fantasizing about having a different kind of life--maybe owing my own business and living in a different place. Unfortunately, I have basically been doing the same thing my entire career and feel I don't know how to do anything else. Maybe I'm just going through a mid life crisis? Has anyone successfully broken away from the DC thing? How did you take the first step?

Anecdote alert, but I know a handful of friends who ended up doing this (breaking out of DC-Gov Consulting, namely). For them, it boiled down to a test of willpower and willingness to leave the comfort zone. Save some change and make the jump. If you hesitate or get cold feet more often than not, you'll probably never make the jump.

Those friends are now in a variety of industries, vaguely related to their work here in Washington. One in Pharma in northern NJ, one in commercial RE in Richmond (this guy actually just picked up and left DC without anything lined up), and two of them left to start their own small consulting firm in Boston (they are doing moderately well). You really just need to be willing to take a risk and commit to it.

If you don't like the DC rat race, Boston is not going to be much better.

+1
We're leaving DC soon but not for anywhere else in BosWash - what would be the point? And Richmond is part of the megalopolis.

[Anonymous]

We broke away and ended up getting a little lucky to pull it off. We sold our house, moved into an apartment while looking for our next house (having no intention of moving). An opening within my company happened and I interviewed and was able to relocate. Husband came a few months later. Best decision ever. Living expenses dramatically decreased and just a much better way to raise a family in my opinion. Having already sold the house and being able to move on a dime were the major key to making it happen I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We broke away and ended up getting a little lucky to pull it off. We sold our house, moved into an apartment while looking for our next house (having no intention of moving). An opening within my company happened and I interviewed and was able to relocate. Husband came a few months later. Best decision ever. Living expenses dramatically decreased and just a much better way to raise a family in my opinion. Having already sold the house and being able to move on a dime were the major key to making it happen I think.

Curious. Where?

[Anonymous]

NP here. I'm trying to do this now. Two months ago we decided we wanted to move. (We've always talked about moving but it never felt like the right time. Two months ago we decided the time was NOW.) We've been applying to jobs in a certain geographical location. I had an offer which we seriously considered but we are still holding out for something better which has helped us focus our search even more.

Obviously, we haven't gotten out yet but I think the first step is deciding what you want. Then go from there. In our case we want to move to a location with the following:
1. Lower cost of living
2. Less that 6 hour drive from parents and siblings (we didn't have this criteria when we got the first offer and after thinking we decided to add it)
3. Good public schools available (don't have to be great schools, just good)
4. Lower population density.
5. Warmer weather.
6. Relatively interesting job opportunities for both me and DH.

We might consider cutting our criteria if we still haven't found what we want after a year of looking. But I'm pretty sure it will happen.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I hear ya. In my case I'm a 10+ year fed and I truly love my job - it is not something I can really do anywhere else - and I love the flexibility/stability/benefits of being a fed. I feel very lucky on that front. I'm not sure the cost of living and poor quality of life is worth it, though. We have enough money to finance our escape but just aren't sure where to go and what to do. It's scary to leave all this stability when you know how much some people are struggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya. In my case I'm a 10+ year fed and I truly love my job - it is not something I can really do anywhere else - and I love the flexibility/stability/benefits of being a fed. I feel very lucky on that front. I'm not sure the cost of living and poor quality of life is worth it, though. We have enough money to finance our escape but just aren't sure where to go and what to do. It's scary to leave all this stability when you know how much some people are struggling.

My impression is that the rest of the country is doing much better (especially west coast), and many complained offer mix of stability and flexibility without long hours and in fact higher pay! Just get out there, though I don't have any solid company leads that fit that bill but anecdotedly Millenials are pushing for these types of jobs and getting them.

[Anonymous]

DH and I have committed to moving to NC next year. His business is relatively portable. I'm a lifelong fed but need something different than the DC ratrace. Blanketing the area we want to live with resumes this winter, whether they look like a great fit or not. I figure something will turn up that will work and I can jump again in a couple of years if it sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya. In my case I'm a 10+ year fed and I truly love my job - it is not something I can really do anywhere else - and I love the flexibility/stability/benefits of being a fed. I feel very lucky on that front. I'm not sure the cost of living and poor quality of life is worth it, though. We have enough money to finance our escape but just aren't sure where to go and what to do. It's scary to leave all this stability when you know how much some people are struggling.

My impression is that the rest of the country is doing much better (especially west coast), and many complained offer mix of stability and flexibility without long hours and in fact higher pay! Just get out there, though I don't have any solid company leads that fit that bill but anecdotedly Millenials are pushing for these types of jobs and getting them.

Really?? Where on the West Coast is pay higher and the cost of living lower?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been living in the DC area for 10 years, working at a large gov contractor. Lately I've been getting tired of doing the "DC thing"--you know, paying a large amount of money for a small, old house with mediocre schools, huge day care costs, commuting, corporate rat race, and going after gov contracts year after year. The thought of doing this for another 20 to 25 years until I retire depresses me a lot.

I have been spending a lot of time fantasizing about having a different kind of life--maybe owing my own business and living in a different place. Unfortunately, I have basically been doing the same thing my entire career and feel I don't know how to do anything else. Maybe I'm just going through a mid life crisis? Has anyone successfully broken away from the DC thing? How did you take the first step?

Anecdote alert, but I know a handful of friends who ended up doing this (breaking out of DC-Gov Consulting, namely). For them, it boiled down to a test of willpower and willingness to leave the comfort zone. Save some change and make the jump. If you hesitate or get cold feet more often than not, you'll probably never make the jump.

Those friends are now in a variety of industries, vaguely related to their work here in Washington. One in Pharma in northern NJ, one in commercial RE in Richmond (this guy actually just picked up and left DC without anything lined up), and two of them left to start their own small consulting firm in Boston (they are doing moderately well). You really just need to be willing to take a risk and commit to it.

If you don't like the DC rat race, Boston is not going to be much better.

I'm considering a job in Boston - but I don't feel like it gets me to any better quality of life (although it will put me closer to family). I'd actually probably have a longer commute to afford anything decent. UGH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya. In my case I'm a 10+ year fed and I truly love my job - it is not something I can really do anywhere else - and I love the flexibility/stability/benefits of being a fed. I feel very lucky on that front. I'm not sure the cost of living and poor quality of life is worth it, though. We have enough money to finance our escape but just aren't sure where to go and what to do. It's scary to leave all this stability when you know how much some people are struggling.

My impression is that the rest of the country is doing much better (especially west coast), and many complained offer mix of stability and flexibility without long hours and in fact higher pay! Just get out there, though I don't have any solid company leads that fit that bill but anecdotedly Millenials are pushing for these types of jobs and getting them.

No. I think many people here are delusional regarding the cost of living in other cities. It typically requires a decent salary for good housing, education and a short commute no matter where you go.