Tired of the DC thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya. In my case I'm a 10+ year fed and I truly love my job - it is not something I can really do anywhere else - and I love the flexibility/stability/benefits of being a fed. I feel very lucky on that front. I'm not sure the cost of living and poor quality of life is worth it, though. We have enough money to finance our escape but just aren't sure where to go and what to do. It's scary to leave all this stability when you know how much some people are struggling.

My impression is that the rest of the country is doing much better (especially west coast), and many complained offer mix of stability and flexibility without long hours and in fact higher pay! Just get out there, though I don't have any solid company leads that fit that bill but anecdotedly Millenials are pushing for these types of jobs and getting them.

No. I think many people here are delusional regarding the cost of living in other cities. It typically requires a decent salary for good housing, education and a short commute no matter where you go.

Not true just avoid the money pits

DC is usually near the top in COL right behind SF and NY. There are tons of areas that are more affordable and better

Within a couple hours of this area alone

Richmond, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Columbus, Cincinatti, Pittsburg, Charlotte, Research Triangle

[Anonymous]

I hear ya, OP. But to put a different spin on it, our family is here (aging parents) so we are not moving any time soon.

I fear that when we finally can move it will be "too late" to really start over.

My DH LOVES it here, so that also makes it tougher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya. In my case I'm a 10+ year fed and I truly love my job - it is not something I can really do anywhere else - and I love the flexibility/stability/benefits of being a fed. I feel very lucky on that front. I'm not sure the cost of living and poor quality of life is worth it, though. We have enough money to finance our escape but just aren't sure where to go and what to do. It's scary to leave all this stability when you know how much some people are struggling.

My impression is that the rest of the country is doing much better (especially west coast), and many complained offer mix of stability and flexibility without long hours and in fact higher pay! Just get out there, though I don't have any solid company leads that fit that bill but anecdotedly Millenials are pushing for these types of jobs and getting them.

No. I think many people here are delusional regarding the cost of living in other cities. It typically requires a decent salary for good housing, education and a short commute no matter where you go.

Not true just avoid the money pits

DC is usually near the top in COL right behind SF and NY. There are tons of areas that are more affordable and better

Within a couple hours of this area alone

Richmond, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Columbus, Cincinatti, Pittsburg, Charlotte, Research Triangle

But how do salaries compare? I believe I am correct that COL comparisons only account for the cost of goods/services/amenities (expenses) and not for income (revenue). SO - yes - if your income in DC is capped at 80K AND you can move to Charlotte and make about the same, then great. But if you can make 250k in DC, and the same job (if there are any) in another place with a lower COL living would only gross $100K then you may not be better off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya, OP. But to put a different spin on it, our family is here (aging parents) so we are not moving any time soon.

I fear that when we finally can move it will be "too late" to really start over.

My DH LOVES it here, so that also makes it tougher.

what makes it "too late". I'm asking myself the same question. DD is going into 3rd - and some people already feel its "too late". But I don't know.... I never thought I would live my whole adult life in Maryland. But that is how its looking

[Anonymous]

I know a lot of people who make an active choice walk away from the DC thing - to Portland (both of them - ME and OR), research triangle, florida, texas, Norfolk, Richmond, Charlottesville.... Lots of people who move to other big cities, but those don't really count for this discussion.

We did it once (jobs brought us back to DC) but are putting the pieces in place to do it again. Sometimes, my friends have pretty good jobs here (say, duel feds) but not good enough that they'll ever get ahead and not good enough that they are so committed to that path. So they just blanket a new area with resumes and move 6 months later. My husband and I both have very good jobs that would be harder to walk away from, so both times we moved involved years of, as we call it, dropping breadcrumbs to get where we want to be. In our situation, it will probably ultimately involve my husband staying in his senior exec role but working from home (because his only real face time requirements are with clients, who are all over the world) and me probably either consulting or doing something else totally new. The col difference is so outrageous and my husband will still have a high income, so really we don't need my income at all after we move (we only need half of his) so we figure we can always make something work.

One problem we had the first time we did this: you find the random unicorn awesome job in this desireable area with low COL. But then 3 years later, the job isn't that great and you're ready to move on. But there are no other good jobs in your new town. So you're stuck. We lived in an amazing region where tons of people like to move for a better life, and many of our friends were former DC people, but we all struggled with this.

One other warning: if you go someone lower key, you have to just accept a professional step down. either because your job is less good or pays less well, or simply because you'll be surrounded by a bunch of other people who don't give a crap what you do because they are teachers, or zumba instructors, or a/c repair guys, or stay at home moms. We define much of our happiness in DC by our jobs and our degrees. By necessity, a low COL community is going to have less people with good jobs, is going to have less good jobs, is going to have lower quality colleagues in your somewhat good job, is going to have less good clients. No matter how good your job is in the new place, it will never be a "DC job". We are sooooo okay with that. We are a power couple and have it all (reputation, success, $$), but we're like "who cares?" and happy to walk away. Just a warning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of people who make an active choice walk away from the DC thing - to Portland (both of them - ME and OR), research triangle, florida, texas, Norfolk, Richmond, Charlottesville.... Lots of people who move to other big cities, but those don't really count for this discussion.

We did it once (jobs brought us back to DC) but are putting the pieces in place to do it again. Sometimes, my friends have pretty good jobs here (say, duel feds) but not good enough that they'll ever get ahead and not good enough that they are so committed to that path. So they just blanket a new area with resumes and move 6 months later. My husband and I both have very good jobs that would be harder to walk away from, so both times we moved involved years of, as we call it, dropping breadcrumbs to get where we want to be. In our situation, it will probably ultimately involve my husband staying in his senior exec role but working from home (because his only real face time requirements are with clients, who are all over the world) and me probably either consulting or doing something else totally new. The col difference is so outrageous and my husband will still have a high income, so really we don't need my income at all after we move (we only need half of his) so we figure we can always make something work.

One problem we had the first time we did this: you find the random unicorn awesome job in this desireable area with low COL. But then 3 years later, the job isn't that great and you're ready to move on. But there are no other good jobs in your new town. So you're stuck. We lived in an amazing region where tons of people like to move for a better life, and many of our friends were former DC people, but we all struggled with this.

One other warning: if you go someone lower key, you have to just accept a professional step down. either because your job is less good or pays less well, or simply because you'll be surrounded by a bunch of other people who don't give a crap what you do because they are teachers, or zumba instructors, or a/c repair guys, or stay at home moms. We define much of our happiness in DC by our jobs and our degrees. By necessity, a low COL community is going to have less people with good jobs, is going to have less good jobs, is going to have lower quality colleagues in your somewhat good job, is going to have less good clients. No matter how good your job is in the new place, it will never be a "DC job". We are sooooo okay with that. We are a power couple and have it all (reputation, success, $$), but we're like "who cares?" and happy to walk away. Just a warning.

This seems spot on. Do you have kids? How old, and did they go to school in DC or the other place ...

[Anonymous]

We left once but ended up having to come back. We moved to Atlanta but the job market crashed there so we had to come back when we both were on the brink of being laid off.

I really want to leave again but DH is a bit scared after what happened last time. DC had one of the more stable job markets during the recession. We both currently have stable jobs so I'm scared to leave but I think about moving away often.

[Anonymous]

You need to MOVE, move to a different state, small town---you know, where you can buy 5 bedroom homes for at the MOST, $78,000--yes, 78,000.....plus land to go with it.....NO REGRETS AT ALL !!!!! Only a 15 minute commute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You need to MOVE, move to a different state, small town---you know, where you can buy 5 bedroom homes for at the MOST, $78,000--yes, 78,000.....plus land to go with it.....NO REGRETS AT ALL !!!!! Only a 15 minute commute.

To a job in what field, and with what salary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You need to MOVE, move to a different state, small town---you know, where you can buy 5 bedroom homes for at the MOST, $78,000--yes, 78,000.....plus land to go with it.....NO REGRETS AT ALL !!!!! Only a 15 minute commute.

To a job in what field, and with what salary?

And schools?? That so what traps us here, low COL generally means and school quality.

[Anonymous]

What is "the DC thing"? I do live near Zumba instructors and electricians and those people a pp mentioned. We aren't in a rat race. We have much more than we need in a lovely home in Silver Spring. I have traveled a lot on the west coast, in the south, and in New England and I haven't seen any magical places where the real quality of life for us would be better. But I have seen places where you can buy bigger houses and live near more white people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You need to MOVE, move to a different state, small town---you know, where you can buy 5 bedroom homes for at the MOST, $78,000--yes, 78,000.....plus land to go with it.....NO REGRETS AT ALL !!!!! Only a 15 minute commute.

To a job in what field, and with what salary?

And schools?? That so what traps us here, low COL generally means and school quality.

People worry too much about this. I grew up in rural part of the Midwest. My bff from college (we went to a top national school) came from the best public schools in NJ. I graduated with a higher GPA than her (and yes, we both took college seriously). To a large degree, it is what you put into it. Was I a bit behind freshmen year, sure. Did I end up graduating in the top 5% of the business school, yes.

Your kid is not doomed for failure if they don't have the best schools ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You need to MOVE, move to a different state, small town---you know, where you can buy 5 bedroom homes for at the MOST, $78,000--yes, 78,000.....plus land to go with it.....NO REGRETS AT ALL !!!!! Only a 15 minute commute.

To a job in what field, and with what salary?

And schools?? That so what traps us here, low COL generally means and school quality.

People worry too much about this. I grew up in rural part of the Midwest. My bff from college (we went to a top national school) came from the best public schools in NJ. I graduated with a higher GPA than her (and yes, we both took college seriously). To a large degree, it is what you put into it. Was I a bit behind freshmen year, sure. Did I end up graduating in the top 5% of the business school, yes.

Your kid is not doomed for failure if they don't have the best schools ever.

+1. Was just discussing this with a good friend. Between the four of us (including our SOs), two of us went to the BEST magnet schools in the country and good private colleges. Two of us went to totally normal middle America "good" public schools, then went to good state colleges. We all got into and went to good grad schools and have all done equally well in our careers (we're all lawyers, so "success" is pretty easily definable). It literally doesn't matter where any of us went to HS so long as it was pretty good. In fact, my friend who went to a top magnet school found it so oppressive and stressful that 20 years later she still trembles when she talks about it. She would waaaayy rather give her kid the other path, to the extent that all roads get to the same place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is "the DC thing"? I do live near Zumba instructors and electricians and those people a pp mentioned. We aren't in a rat race. We have much more than we need in a lovely home in Silver Spring. I have traveled a lot on the west coast, in the south, and in New England and I haven't seen any magical places where the real quality of life for us would be better. But I have seen places where you can buy bigger houses and live near more white people.

If I lived in Silver Spring, I would have a one-hour commute every day (not taking into account getting my kids to daycare or preschool), heavy traffic and road rage issues, questionable middle school and beyond options, both spouses would need to work in "good" jobs for in perpetuity, and oppressively busy stressful grocery stores if you go after work or after 10am on weekends. There are plenty of places in the US with 15 minutes easy commutes (25 including school or daycare), no lines at the grocery store, perfectly fine schools, and low COL so that one spouse could quit for a few years, or try to start the business they've always wanted, or just worked 15 hours consulting a week and life will go on. That's the difference between easy living and the "DC thing".

[Anonymous]

Magnet schools aren't for every kid. There are some real hyperachieving twits in some of them.