I can't eat a meal with my husband at home.
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Anonymous
| We can go out to restaurants and I am fine. However, his manners at home - slurping his coffee, chewing with his mouth open, inhaling his food, and his jaw clicking with every bite - are just too much for me. I have to leave the room whenever he comes in to eat. There was some of this early on, but it has gotten worse over time. I hate it, and I hate that it makes me want to be away from him. What can I do? |
Anonymous
| +1 I feel your pain. |
Anonymous
| Have you told him? |
Anonymous
| If this is the biggest thing you have to worry about in marriage, consider yourself lucky. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I don't know how to tell him. |
Anonymous
| And it's not the only thing, but it is a thing. I was just very happy sitting out on our deck eating breakfast and he came out with a plate and coffee and I just got up to leave. I feel badly, but it is so gross, and distracting, I can't do it. |
Anonymous
|
It may be misophonia. I have it, too. The sound of people eating absolutely enrage me even though I know it's not logical.
My husband eats like your's does and I too have to leave the room while he's eating. He, of course, does not understand, which leads to a lot of anger on both sides. He thinks it's just something I can will myself to stop being bothered by but I really can't. If I have to sit there and listen to him chew for too long it sends me into a rage so intense I have the urge to punch him, haha. Best solution for you, OP, is to try and eat meals with ambient noise in the background. It's difficult to explain to people that have never experienced it, but it is real and I feel your pain. |
Anonymous
| Grow up. |
Anonymous
| Record him and play it back to him? In the nicest way possible - say you love spending time during meals with him but his noises are interfering with how you enjoy your food. |
Anonymous
| Can you play music while you eat, so you don't hear his eating? It might be the distraction you need. |
Anonymous
| Misophonia. I have it too. Certain foods like pizza drive me bonkers. For some reason it's worst if we're side by side. Makes my skin crawl, makes me unexplainably angry, ruins my mood. I've tried to control it and read about it, but haven't been to tgerapy. |
Anonymous
| OP, go see a therapist about this. They can do a technique call "flooding" where they expose you to the sound/grossness until you are immune to it and it won't bother you anymore. I actually heard someone in a yoga/therapy retreat I was at talk abouth a session on the same topic -for them, though, it was the disgust a man had at his wife's ice cubes clinking in the glass. Sounds similar. He overcame it through flooding therapy. Good luck! It's not weird that you have this issue, it is something you can overcome! |
Anonymous
That pretty much sums it up. |
Anonymous
| Yea, right. 5% of this is "Misophonia." 95% of this is oblivious spouses who are lazy/sloppy. I bet OP's spouse isn't shy about telling her to clean the dishes, put away her laundry, don't talk so loud in X location, etc. We'll call it "Chore-phonia" for DHs. How you confront the sloppy/rude eating will depend on your communication style & preferences. But, please do it! |
Anonymous
| Why doesn't it bother you in restaurants as well? Why only at home? |