I can't eat a meal with my husband at home.

[Anonymous]

I'm like you and other PPs. We used to eat while watching tv, and that was better. You could try that. Now we have a kid, we try to eat at the table, so I turn on music to distract me. He's gotten mad and offended when I've mentioned it to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't know how to tell him.

This is one of those rip-the-bandaid off moments. You need to just tell him flat out that he's grossing you out, and is on his way to making himself utterly repellant to you. No blame game, no attacking him, just telling him "hey, you deserve to know this thing is going on that is alienating me from you". Because that is what happens with this kind of thing...pretty soon it won't just be sitting down with him at the table - it'll be sex...then it will be non-sexual affection and touching and finally, you'll just want to get the heck away from him. But that brings up another angle...and you may want to think about this before ripping off the bandaid...

I can appreciate what you say, because few things drive me as nuts as people who chew with their mouths open...I'm not at the misophonia stage, but poor table manners (smacking lips, open mouth chewing, slurping, etc.) drive me nuts. I will say this: I would have expected this to AnnoyTF out of you back when you first went on a date with this guy. My wife (and her sister) are world-class burpers...which I think is cute (partly because they are both hot), but it was obvious to me early on and if I'd found it gross or annoying (which many do), it would have been a flag to me during the early dating phase. Indeed, I wouldn't have gone on more than a date or two at most if DW had been an open-mouth eater.

So, instead of heaping scorn upon you in DCUM fashion with "you should have known this when you married him", I'm going to assume that it's something that didn't annoy you so much in the past, and has started to seriously grate on your nerves. I have discovered at least three times in very serious, committed, long-term relationships (one was a marriage), that when there is something deep and fundamentally broken or wrong in the relationship, I started finding all sorts of things about my partner super-annoying - things that weren't really even on my radar when things were going well. I had one GF who loved to take and wear my clothes all the time - which I thought was cute...but when the relationship was on the rocks, I started noticing how much BO she had, and how bad it was...and it wasn't that she was borrowing my clothes that bugged me - it was that she'd return them with some serious stank on them...so that I had to wash them before I could put them on. She loved to mangle my toothpaste tube...again...silly, harmless and not something I noticed, but once things had soured (for other reasons) this little "habit" of hers started to really infuriate me. There are other examples but you get the idea. I think this is what happens with the tons of women who post on DCUM about how much their husband's couch-potato, sports-watching butt gets on their nerves...and the guy did these things all along.

So, I'd say, if these are things you're just now suddenly noticing...pay attention because maybe your subconscious mind is telling you something about your relationship your rational conscious mind can't or won't (denial) allow you to acknowledge. Either way you need to look into this hard and deep because you're headed for divorce either way...if it isn't something deeper, then you need to tell him bluntly what his eating habits are doing.

[Anonymous]

Turn on the radio OP. My dh is sensitive to sound I have jaw and bite problems. It helps to have background noise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't know how to tell him.

This is one of those rip-the-bandaid off moments. You need to just tell him flat out that he's grossing you out, and is on his way to making himself utterly repellant to you. No blame game, no attacking him, just telling him "hey, you deserve to know this thing is going on that is alienating me from you". Because that is what happens with this kind of thing...pretty soon it won't just be sitting down with him at the table - it'll be sex...then it will be non-sexual affection and touching and finally, you'll just want to get the heck away from him. But that brings up another angle...and you may want to think about this before ripping off the bandaid...

I can appreciate what you say, because few things drive me as nuts as people who chew with their mouths open...I'm not at the misophonia stage, but poor table manners (smacking lips, open mouth chewing, slurping, etc.) drive me nuts. I will say this: I would have expected this to AnnoyTF out of you back when you first went on a date with this guy. My wife (and her sister) are world-class burpers...which I think is cute (partly because they are both hot), but it was obvious to me early on and if I'd found it gross or annoying (which many do), it would have been a flag to me during the early dating phase. Indeed, I wouldn't have gone on more than a date or two at most if DW had been an open-mouth eater.

So, instead of heaping scorn upon you in DCUM fashion with "you should have known this when you married him", I'm going to assume that it's something that didn't annoy you so much in the past, and has started to seriously grate on your nerves. I have discovered at least three times in very serious, committed, long-term relationships (one was a marriage), that when there is something deep and fundamentally broken or wrong in the relationship, I started finding all sorts of things about my partner super-annoying - things that weren't really even on my radar when things were going well. I had one GF who loved to take and wear my clothes all the time - which I thought was cute...but when the relationship was on the rocks, I started noticing how much BO she had, and how bad it was...and it wasn't that she was borrowing my clothes that bugged me - it was that she'd return them with some serious stank on them...so that I had to wash them before I could put them on. She loved to mangle my toothpaste tube...again...silly, harmless and not something I noticed, but once things had soured (for other reasons) this little "habit" of hers started to really infuriate me. There are other examples but you get the idea. I think this is what happens with the tons of women who post on DCUM about how much their husband's couch-potato, sports-watching butt gets on their nerves...and the guy did these things all along.

So, I'd say, if these are things you're just now suddenly noticing...pay attention because maybe your subconscious mind is telling you something about your relationship your rational conscious mind can't or won't (denial) allow you to acknowledge. Either way you need to look into this hard and deep because you're headed for divorce either way...if it isn't something deeper, then you need to tell him bluntly what his eating habits are doing.

I agree with you. And my therapist has said the same.

[Anonymous]

Would any of his guy friends be willing to take a bullet and make fun of him for his eating habits? Like, "dude, were you raised in a barn?"

[Anonymous]

My husband makes old man smacking noises when he eats chocolate candy. I seriously cannot stand hearing him do that for a least half an hour AFTER he's eaten the candy. I usually put on my headphones and listen to music. Good thing he eats candy rarely or I might smother him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 I feel your pain.

Me, too. But i have survived for about 20 years.

[Anonymous]

My mother talks with her mouth full CONSTANTLY. She has been confronted many times, and it makes zero difference. She actually corrects other people if they interrupt her WITH HER MOUTH FULL OF FOOD.

It's pointless, OP. Just eat somewhere else. If he asks why, say "Because the way you eat nauseates me."

[Anonymous]

I feel for you. My husband slurps salad. I honestly do not know how he can make such a noise eating salad. He often eta late at night and I have to leave the room. For me, I think it is due to some hearing loss in one ear. For some reason I think the slurping and chewing sounds make it through to my ears more than other noises, so it sounds super loud.

[Anonymous]

My husband is overly sensitive about my chewing. It's not nice to be on the other side of this, OP. FWIW, I don't do anything "rude" or "sloppy". I eat at a normal pace, always chew with my mouth closed, don't slurp or lick my fingers. I don't know what his issue is. Usually he cranks up the TV volume so he can't hear it. It has made be self conscious about my chewing volume even when I'm not with him. I can hear HIM chew sometimes, and if I notice it, I just carry on as it is a normal part of being a person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is overly sensitive about my chewing. It's not nice to be on the other side of this, OP. FWIW, I don't do anything "rude" or "sloppy". I eat at a normal pace, always chew with my mouth closed, don't slurp or lick my fingers. I don't know what his issue is. Usually he cranks up the TV volume so he can't hear it. It has made be self conscious about my chewing volume even when I'm not with him. I can hear HIM chew sometimes, and if I notice it, I just carry on as it is a normal part of being a person.

This is me too...I advise turning on the radio. After years of him criticizing me now I make sure I point out when I can hear him eat--usually when he is also having allergy problems or has a stuffy nose or is having jaw pain. I am sometimes noisy when I eat, he farts much more in public, which I find awful. We both still love each other.

[Anonymous]

And, a few years after he started complaining about my eating noise I realized that he only does this complaining mainly during times he is under stress. Apparently stress causes him to become very irritated, and when he is irritated all noises (no matter how small) bother him.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like OP is at least half of the problem. She needs help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't know how to tell him.

This is one of those rip-the-bandaid off moments. You need to just tell him flat out that he's grossing you out, and is on his way to making himself utterly repellant to you. No blame game, no attacking him, just telling him "hey, you deserve to know this thing is going on that is alienating me from you". Because that is what happens with this kind of thing...pretty soon it won't just be sitting down with him at the table - it'll be sex...then it will be non-sexual affection and touching and finally, you'll just want to get the heck away from him. But that brings up another angle...and you may want to think about this before ripping off the bandaid...

I can appreciate what you say, because few things drive me as nuts as people who chew with their mouths open...I'm not at the misophonia stage, but poor table manners (smacking lips, open mouth chewing, slurping, etc.) drive me nuts. I will say this: I would have expected this to AnnoyTF out of you back when you first went on a date with this guy. My wife (and her sister) are world-class burpers...which I think is cute (partly because they are both hot), but it was obvious to me early on and if I'd found it gross or annoying (which many do), it would have been a flag to me during the early dating phase. Indeed, I wouldn't have gone on more than a date or two at most if DW had been an open-mouth eater.

So, instead of heaping scorn upon you in DCUM fashion with "you should have known this when you married him", I'm going to assume that it's something that didn't annoy you so much in the past, and has started to seriously grate on your nerves. I have discovered at least three times in very serious, committed, long-term relationships (one was a marriage), that when there is something deep and fundamentally broken or wrong in the relationship, I started finding all sorts of things about my partner super-annoying - things that weren't really even on my radar when things were going well. I had one GF who loved to take and wear my clothes all the time - which I thought was cute...but when the relationship was on the rocks, I started noticing how much BO she had, and how bad it was...and it wasn't that she was borrowing my clothes that bugged me - it was that she'd return them with some serious stank on them...so that I had to wash them before I could put them on. She loved to mangle my toothpaste tube...again...silly, harmless and not something I noticed, but once things had soured (for other reasons) this little "habit" of hers started to really infuriate me. There are other examples but you get the idea. I think this is what happens with the tons of women who post on DCUM about how much their husband's couch-potato, sports-watching butt gets on their nerves...and the guy did these things all along.

So, I'd say, if these are things you're just now suddenly noticing...pay attention because maybe your subconscious mind is telling you something about your relationship your rational conscious mind can't or won't (denial) allow you to acknowledge. Either way you need to look into this hard and deep because you're headed for divorce either way...if it isn't something deeper, then you need to tell him bluntly what his eating habits are doing.

[Anonymous]

Hey, all of you folks complaining about hearing your husband's chewing, you do know we can hear you chew too?

[Anonymous]

OMG, this is so my boyfriend! The way he holds his spoon/folk and is smacking drives me crazy.

This is all in the home of course and not when we go out thank goodness. I've mentioned it to him and his reply is "I'm at home".

Irks the shit of of me. No marriage in my future.