I can't eat a meal with my husband at home.
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Anonymous
My jaw clicks when I eat and it has nothing to do with manners, but rather because I got hit in the jaw with a soccer ball as a teen and it tweaked something structurally. Sounds like this issue may be equal parts husband, equal parts you. |
Anonymous
OP here... probably for a variety of reasons - the ambient noise, as someone else pointed out, and there are many, many distractions around. Not to say I don't notice things, but it is tolerable. Maybe music would help - I actually just like silence, or listening to nature, so it isn't something that naturally occurs to me to do (to put on music). |
Anonymous
| My daughter has misophonia. Restaurants and school cafeteria are better because the overall drum of noise drowns out the individual sounds people make. At home we put music on during dinner. That has helped, but if we are eating something crunchy or loud, she will get up and sit at the kitchen counter. |
Anonymous
| It's probably not misophonia. Misophonia is incredibly rare and OP would be having this kind of reaction to other sounds, not just DH's eating. To me, this sounds like DH has terrible manners. My step-daughter eats like this and she's 11. Nothing I say to her about this sticks though... and her bio parents just shrug and say "that's how kids eat." It drives me nuts. I literally have to hum to myself while we eat dinner together so that I don't hear her slurping and chewing. Her 15 year old cousin stayed with us for a few days and burst out in the middle of dinner on the second night that she couldn't stand another second of the disgusting noises so I know it's just not me. At a meeting last week, I noticed the same thing with a new employee on my team. Afterwards, in the elevator, other people from the meeting were making fun of him for it. Seriously, I think this is a social problem. Lots of people are not being taught basic table manners. I'm not talking about which fork to use... I'm talking about chewing with your mouth closed and being aware of the sounds you can make while eating. |
Anonymous
OP here... yes, I had a former boss (CEO) who had horrendous table manners - slurping her fingers after eating with her hands at business meals - THAT bad. It was embarrassing. |
Anonymous
| Is it okay if you are in a restaurant because there's outside noise and the environment is pleasing? Maybe put on music when you eat, set the table nicely, etc. A lot of people hate meals because they associate them with stress. |
Anonymous
| PP here. Also if you set the table nicely and make it seem like he's in a restaurant, he's much more likely to not have horrible table manners. He's probably "too comfortable" or doesn't care at home, but if you use nice napkins, put on music etc. he may behave better. |
Anonymous
| OP, I feel for you. Mine is like that, and he also grunts loudly, makes hawking sounds in his throat, sucks in air as he takes each bite, and randomly blows his nose. He practically squats in his chair, hunched over the food with his arms around it, and he chews so loudly, with mouth open, smacking his lips, it looks like a caricature of gross eating or like someone raised by wild animals. He also spears huge hunks of meat or other food on his fork and gnaws. When he eats any kind of pasta or noodles, he keeps a stream of them going in, with half of them being spit back into the bowl all at once, to eat them as fast as possible. |
Anonymous
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My MIL is like you OP. No one likes to eat dinner with her.
My husband trends this way but is fighting it because it makes mealtimes with the kids terribly unfun and stressful. You need to get a handle on your irrational behavior before you become a person like my MIL who is so fixated on controlling exactly how everyone sounds when they eat to the point that no one wants to or enjoys eating meals with her. Sharing meals and breaking bread together is the foundation of our society and our families. Your over the top reaction to food noises is getting in the way of your fsmily's happiness. You need to find a way to get it together, perhaps some sort of counseling or pearning anger management tricks, before this consumes you. Your husband is worth you fixing your behavior and how you resct to normal life. |
Anonymous
| Yep, my husband's eating totally grates on my nerves, as does his mother. She has a habit of having her elbows on the table and shakes her food; it's hard to explain. I literally have to do everything in my power to not scream at her. He eats similar to her, but less drastic. He knows his eating gets on my nerves and follows me around as he eats. He's a gem. |
Anonymous
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OMG the jaw clicking. My mom did/does that and when we were growing up I had to sit next to her. It was so so so awful.
My DH slurps and sometimes chews to loudly and it drives me crazy. I haven't hid my feelings about it though which I try to be kind about and he has the patience of a saint so that helps. Also, music at meal times makes a big difference. Having kids and their noise level helps too. |
Anonymous
Didn't you know this about him before you married him? |
Anonymous
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Can someone please explain to me how jaw clicking is a manners issue?
http://healthcare.utah.edu/the-scope/shows.php?shows=0_a1wgqdwy Dr. Lowder: There are actually two kinds of popping that patients report. One is when they're almost at their widest opening, like when you when you yawn. This type of popping is more of a subluxation where the lower jaw bone passes over a ridge in the upper jaw bone, and that's a normal occurrence caused by just a hyperextended lower jaw. The other type of popping is the one that's more concerning, and it involves the displacement of the cartilage-like disc which is inside the joint. This type of popping occurs usually quietly when you're closing. The disc will slip forward of the lower jaw bone. Then when you go to open again, there will be a louder pop or crack that happens when the disc repositions itself onto the condyle of the lower jaw. Interviewer: So, talking or chewing, is that when this happens? Dr. Lowder: Yes. It can happen Interviewer: And even just opening your mouth. Dr. Lowder: It can even be bothersome to other people at the table where you're eating. They can hear it, and they'll wonder what's going on, and that's usually because that disc is dislocating on closure and then reducing back to normal position on opening. If it's painful, it's usually painful because the ligament that controls the disc is being stretched, or the muscles that control the jaw movement are also being affected by that dysfunction. |
Anonymous
NP here. Restaurants are loud so the noises are probably masked. |
Anonymous
| I can't be in the room with my husband eating if it's quiet. I have to turn on music or the tv. The absolute worst place, though, is in the car on road trips. How can a person make so much noise eating french fries? Ugh. I try not to say much about food, but I draw the line at him chewing gum near me. CanNOT stand it. |