do your friends elsewhere live as financially conservative as you find people in DC do?

[Anonymous]

I just had my yearly gathering with 6 friends from college.
They live throughout the country: Maine, New Hampshire, Bellevue WA, Albany NY etc.
Each of them has a graduate degree.
However, I'm the only one who works full time and the rest are pretty determined to never work
full time again. They have kids and they don't want the stress of having two spouses both working.
However, I work full time primarily because I'm paranoid about not having enough saved for retirement.
I'd also like to pay for my kids to go to college.
My husband probably makes three times what any of their husbands does and yet I'm the one most worried about money.

I wonder though, am I just a victim of my surroundings here in DC? The ones that says "you can never save enough
for college or retirement! You must scrimp and save and work hard. You must have a net work that spins
off $250K a year for 30 years in retirement. You must be able to pay cash for a decade of nursing home care later in life. You must be
able to fund your kids' college educations".

My friends elsewhere seem to be quite at peace with maybe saving $18K a year into a 401K. If that. They are enjoying
a much quieter and easier life in the here and now. They trust that their kids will go to state schools for college or (other colleges
that give scholarships) and will get scholarships for top grad schools (because that is what they themselves did and it worked out very well).

Can anyone else relate?
I feel like I've bought in to the NW DC hamster wheel mentality and I wonder if it's necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just had my yearly gathering with 6 friends from college.
They live throughout the country: Maine, New Hampshire, Bellevue WA, Albany NY etc.
Each of them has a graduate degree.
However, I'm the only one who works full time and the rest are pretty determined to never work
full time again. They have kids and they don't want the stress of having two spouses both working.
However, I work full time primarily because I'm paranoid about not having enough saved for retirement.
I'd also like to pay for my kids to go to college.
My husband probably makes three times what any of their husbands does and yet I'm the one most worried about money.

I wonder though, am I just a victim of my surroundings here in DC? The ones that says "you can never save enough
for college or retirement! You must scrimp and save and work hard. You must have a net work that spins
off $250K a year for 30 years in retirement. You must be able to pay cash for a decade of nursing home care later in life. You must be
able to fund your kids' college educations".

My friends elsewhere seem to be quite at peace with maybe saving $18K a year into a 401K. If that. They are enjoying
a much quieter and easier life in the here and now. They trust that their kids will go to state schools for college or (other colleges
that give scholarships) and will get scholarships for top grad schools (because that is what they themselves did and it worked out very well).

Can anyone else relate?
I feel like I've bought in to the NW DC hamster wheel mentality and I wonder if it's necessary.

Yes you have to enjoy life more. Maybe get out of DC too? There is more to life than NYC, SF, DC,

[Anonymous]

You live in a really expensive city compared to them. I think that's a huge part of it. They probably have high HHI's compared to their neighbors, where you are middle of the pack. I think that's a huge part of it.

[Anonymous]

My friends growing up are still all in the midwest and I find them to be much the same. They have 2-3 kids, I know they're not saving more than $5k for retirement / year, and not saving at all for college. ...but then they get brand new $40k pick-up trucks ever 5 years. Go to all-inclusive resorts every 2 years. Own boats. HHIs somewhere around $150k.

Part of me really envies them...and part wonders how they sleep at night. But that's their journey and not my business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends growing up are still all in the midwest and I find them to be much the same. They have 2-3 kids, I know they're not saving more than $5k for retirement / year, and not saving at all for college. ...but then they get brand new $40k pick-up trucks ever 5 years. Go to all-inclusive resorts every 2 years. Own boats. HHIs somewhere around $150k.

Part of me really envies them...and part wonders how they sleep at night. But that's their journey and not my business.

We were wondering about this as well. We grew up vacationing at motels and were lower middle class; we were at a beachside Hilton this past weekend, and we saw a lot of families that seemed pretty likely to be similar lower middle class (this is a superficial judgment from their dress and tatooes and way they were talking to their kids -- could be wrong, but it's the environment I grew up in so I think I can spot my peeps) -- but they were at a hotel which costs $350/night! I know if I was in similar situation, we would be finding cheaper options and hoofing it to the beach somehow!

I get jealous of the folks back home with their nice big houses, SAHMs, and easy life. But we look at the savings we are building the options that will give us for helping out our parents and potentially kids down the road (forget college, would love to help downpayment for their houses, or to allow them to SAH for a spell when kids are born).

[Anonymous]

You're taking the attitudes on this Money and Finances forum and thinking they apply to most all college educated professionals in DC. They don't.

Interview your average real estate agent in the DC area, and ask them about the typical down payment people make on their homes. I have plenty of high-earning friends who seem to have it all together from the outside, but it's all smoke and mirrors.

Sure some people seem to have it all, and they actually do. Those people make good decisions with money and are also able to enjoy a high income... great for them...but that's a very small percentage of people, and people like that are in every city.

[Anonymous]

I'm an attorney in DC and I make maybe $15K per year more than my brother who is a pipefitter in the rural midwest. He and his wife have a brand-new home, brand-new vehicles, horses and a boat. We are probably saving about the same in retirement. My money goes to daycare and payments on a 60-year old house that is not updated and on which I did not put 20% down. Neither of us have significant amounts saved for our children's education. I think this is a total hamster wheel. I likely will be better off financially in the end, but he will have had more time to live his life and in a nicer home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're taking the attitudes on this Money and Finances forum and thinking they apply to most all college educated professionals in DC. They don't.

Interview your average real estate agent in the DC area, and ask them about the typical down payment people make on their homes. I have plenty of high-earning friends who seem to have it all together from the outside, but it's all smoke and mirrors.

Sure some people seem to have it all, and they actually do. Those people make good decisions with money and are also able to enjoy a high income... great for them...but that's a very small percentage of people, and people like that are in every city.

I feel like I've seen data showing that an overwhelming number of people put more than 20% down in this area and that there are a rather high amount of cash sales in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

They have lower costs of living. They are not likely going to move to a higher cost of living place post retirement. So their expenses are lower.

I often think that people here who are so rabidly fiscally conservative are basing that on their COL now and their salaries now here in the DC area and the idea of replacing 75% or more of that salary in their retirement. Unless you intend to stay here forever, your retirement expenses simply won't be the same.

When I'm retired, I don't need the current $2400 a month I pay to daycare or the $4000 a month I pay in PITI. Even if we stay here, taxes and insurance are a fraction of our mortgage payment, which will be paid off by the time we retire. My student loans will be long paid off. I simply won't have the expenses I have now.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what my friend's husband's make, but considering that they live in $2-$3million dollar houses in CT and NY and have houses in the Hamptons, I have to assume that they are saving a lot too. Most of them have parents who have some wealth, so they will probably get inheritances too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney in DC and I make maybe $15K per year more than my brother who is a pipefitter in the rural midwest. He and his wife have a brand-new home, brand-new vehicles, horses and a boat. We are probably saving about the same in retirement. My money goes to daycare and payments on a 60-year old house that is not updated and on which I did not put 20% down. Neither of us have significant amounts saved for our children's education. I think this is a total hamster wheel. I likely will be better off financially in the end, but he will have had more time to live his life and in a nicer home.

Yep, he will be riding his boat on the weekends while you work.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a happy medium. They also live in cheaper areas. If you want to retire in an expensive city, you will need to stay on that hamster wheel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're taking the attitudes on this Money and Finances forum and thinking they apply to most all college educated professionals in DC. They don't.

Interview your average real estate agent in the DC area, and ask them about the typical down payment people make on their homes. I have plenty of high-earning friends who seem to have it all together from the outside, but it's all smoke and mirrors.

Sure some people seem to have it all, and they actually do. Those people make good decisions with money and are also able to enjoy a high income... great for them...but that's a very small percentage of people, and people like that are in every city.

I feel like I've seen data showing that an overwhelming number of people put more than 20% down in this area and that there are a rather high amount of cash sales in the DC area.

Nope. That may be true of posters to this board but the stats show that 10% or less is the most common downpayment in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're taking the attitudes on this Money and Finances forum and thinking they apply to most all college educated professionals in DC. They don't.

Interview your average real estate agent in the DC area, and ask them about the typical down payment people make on their homes. I have plenty of high-earning friends who seem to have it all together from the outside, but it's all smoke and mirrors.

Sure some people seem to have it all, and they actually do. Those people make good decisions with money and are also able to enjoy a high income... great for them...but that's a very small percentage of people, and people like that are in every city.

+1

Big hats, no cattle.

[Anonymous]

Most people I know around the DC area are living entirely beyond their means trying to keep up with the neighbors.