do your friends elsewhere live as financially conservative as you find people in DC do?

[Anonymous]

There is a retirement crises coming. Our current system will not cover anyone. I think the numbers are like 75% of employers do not offer a 401k. Of the people with 401k most have under 25k in it or under. People are not saving enough, but they really do not make enough to save more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know around the DC area are living entirely beyond their means trying to keep up with the neighbors.

How do you know this? Just curious

[Anonymous]

It is insane to live so much for the future. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

I don't know where you get fiscally conservative from ... our HHI is 220K, and it's not like we have huge discretionary things we could be spending on.

we have paid $2000+ a month for childcare for 4 years now, plus mortgage on a 100+ year old house that we can't afford to repair many things in, and ONLY afforded in the first place due to a very generous down payment contribution from my MIL. I save about 15% of my salary for retirement, which I don't consider enough because (due to lots of higher education) I didn't really start saving until my mid-30s. For college, again we are luck to have MIL seeding the 529 plan for now, and we don't contribute anything. We have one car with a 7 k note. Luckily, only $4k left in student loans now.

This leaves us with barely affording one vacation a year, and scraping by with an average of about 2 months in our emergency savings account (depending on how close to tax refund season we are ...)

I realize that we are actually extremely privileged with all of this, but my point is, the cost of living here is high!

[Anonymous]

I think in DC more people "pretend" to be obsessed and money saving--in reality, it's smoke and mirrors, as the other posters say.

In other places, there is in less pretension.

[Anonymous]

Given the numbers you hinted at, OP, you would probably be financially set even if you didn't work. I think your anxiety is taking a toll here.

I live in Bethesda, I don't work, my husband makes 120K, we have two kids and are still saving for college and retirement.

See? Can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where you get fiscally conservative from ... our HHI is 220K, and it's not like we have huge discretionary things we could be spending on.

we have paid $2000+ a month for childcare for 4 years now, plus mortgage on a 100+ year old house that we can't afford to repair many things in, and ONLY afforded in the first place due to a very generous down payment contribution from my MIL. I save about 15% of my salary for retirement, which I don't consider enough because (due to lots of higher education) I didn't really start saving until my mid-30s. For college, again we are luck to have MIL seeding the 529 plan for now, and we don't contribute anything. We have one car with a 7 k note. Luckily, only $4k left in student loans now.

This leaves us with barely affording one vacation a year, and scraping by with an average of about 2 months in our emergency savings account (depending on how close to tax refund season we are ...)

I realize that we are actually extremely privileged with all of this, but my point is, the cost of living here is high!

Oh boy! Here comes the contingent who claim they are barely scraping by on 200,000+ a year.

[Anonymous]

I'm from NYC. DC is so cheap compared to NYC living. Some of our friends can't afford to buy so they continue renting $5000 2 bedroom apts in Manhattan or Brooklyn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think in DC more people "pretend" to be obsessed and money saving--in reality, it's smoke and mirrors, as the other posters say.

In other places, there is in less pretension.

I don't know what kind of people you know. I don't know anyone who does this. We know people who do complain about cost of living and having difficulty saving with HHI of low six figures. Others don't talk about money at all.

We don't talk about money. I only "talk" about in on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just had my yearly gathering with 6 friends from college.
They live throughout the country: Maine, New Hampshire, Bellevue WA, Albany NY etc.
Each of them has a graduate degree.
However, I'm the only one who works full time and the rest are pretty determined to never work
full time again. They have kids and they don't want the stress of having two spouses both working.
However, I work full time primarily because I'm paranoid about not having enough saved for retirement.
I'd also like to pay for my kids to go to college.
My husband probably makes three times what any of their husbands does and yet I'm the one most worried about money.

I wonder though, am I just a victim of my surroundings here in DC? The ones that says "you can never save enough
for college or retirement! You must scrimp and save and work hard. You must have a net work that spins
off $250K a year for 30 years in retirement. You must be able to pay cash for a decade of nursing home care later in life. You must be
able to fund your kids' college educations".

My friends elsewhere seem to be quite at peace with maybe saving $18K a year into a 401K. If that. They are enjoying
a much quieter and easier life in the here and now. They trust that their kids will go to state schools for college or (other colleges
that give scholarships) and will get scholarships for top grad schools (because that is what they themselves did and it worked out very well).

Can anyone else relate?
I feel like I've bought in to the NW DC hamster wheel mentality and I wonder if it's necessary.

They'll probably change their tune when their kids are older, but then will have a very hard time getting work. I don't know a single woman who never wants to work again in any capacity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where you get fiscally conservative from ... our HHI is 220K, and it's not like we have huge discretionary things we could be spending on.

we have paid $2000+ a month for childcare for 4 years now, plus mortgage on a 100+ year old house that we can't afford to repair many things in, and ONLY afforded in the firstq place due to a very generous down payment contribution from my MIL. I save about 15% of my salary for retirement, which I don't consider enough because (due to lots of higher education) I didn't really start saving until my mid-30s. For college, again we are luck to have MIL seeding the 529 plan for now, and we don't contribute anything. We have one car with a 7 k note. Luckily, only $4k left in student loans now.

This leaves us with barely affording one vacation a year, and scraping by with an average of about 2 months in our emergency savings account (depending on how close to tax refund season we are ...)

I realize that we are actually extremely privileged with all of this, but my point is, the cost of living here is high!

Oh boy! Here comes the contingent who claim they are barely scraping by on 200,000+ a year.

I realize I am not barely scraping by. My point is, though, that given our expenses and what I consider a reasonable amount of savings, we don't have a huge pile of extra money sitting around -- despite OP suggesting that I am "overly fiscally conservative." Plus, we can only enjoy some of the quality of life elements that OP's midwestern friends enjoy (short commute, relatively spacious house, decent school) because we got help with a down payment. I am not complaining, just objecting to this idea that I am saving too much??

[Anonymous]

not everyone cares if their kid goes to a fancy college. If you don't care about paying for college and live in an area where you can comfortably retire on social security, what else is there to save for?! (Just kidding, but it may explain the non-saving mentality)

[Anonymous]

People in DC seem to stretch more for housing and not furnish it well and sometimes they drive junky cars. I do have friends here who seem to spend on it all, so it does vary. After taxes and COL we could be making a lot less elsewhere for the same lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is insane to live so much for the future. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

Yes, and her family would have enough savings to cover the funeral costs, hiring a nanny or shoring up childcare, and cover the loss of wages, at least temporarily, while they grieve the horrible loss of their parent/partner. That's what you meant right? Not suggesting that they live beyond their means, overspending on consumer products to satisfy some fleeting and ephemeral whim, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm from NYC. DC is so cheap compared to NYC living. Some of our friends can't afford to buy so they continue renting $5000 2 bedroom apts in Manhattan or Brooklyn.

+1. The vast majority of our friends living in NYC spend all of their money on rent, dining out and vacations. Some of them don't even max out retirement. We would probably be made fun of if we still lived in NY because we aren't interested in spending everything we make. We max out retirement, save a good 50-75k a year and will have our house paid off in our 40s.