do your friends elsewhere live as financially conservative as you find people in DC do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some weird assumptions in this post. We don't live in DC yet we still save 100k for retirement, 45k for college, 1000 a month on kids activities, 4K on kids summer camp, 30-40k on travel. I'm not sure why you think this lifestyle is particular to DC or NY.

+ 1

What you describe is basic UMC all over the country: big savings for retirement and college, high spending on kids.

+1. UMC in this country is typically well educated; well educated people do these things bc they can afford to and bc they understand what a 401k is and bc they want their kids to go to college with as little debt as possible. The places where it isn't happening is in areas that are economically hard hit -- esp rust belt manufacturing towns; when your choice is pay the mortgage this month or worry about retirement in 20 yrs, you choose the immediate need. Not sure how many uppity folks on DCUM actually know any glass makers in Toledo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some weird assumptions in this post. We don't live in DC yet we still save 100k for retirement, 45k for college, 1000 a month on kids activities, 4K on kids summer camp, 30-40k on travel. I'm not sure why you think this lifestyle is particular to DC or NY.

Uh, maybe because that describes a very high HHI? That's not the norm anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some weird assumptions in this post. We don't live in DC yet we still save 100k for retirement, 45k for college, 1000 a month on kids activities, 4K on kids summer camp, 30-40k on travel. I'm not sure why you think this lifestyle is particular to DC or NY.

Uh, maybe because that describes a very high HHI? That's not the norm anywhere.

Isn't it what the OP and PPs are talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how many uppity folks on DCUM actually know any glass makers in Toledo.

Believe it or not, some of us came from blue collar families in towns like Toledo before our high-paying jobs in DC. Some of us even still have friends and family "back home."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney in DC and I make maybe $15K per year more than my brother who is a pipefitter in the rural midwest. He and his wife have a brand-new home, brand-new vehicles, horses and a boat. We are probably saving about the same in retirement. My money goes to daycare and payments on a 60-year old house that is not updated and on which I did not put 20% down. Neither of us have significant amounts saved for our children's education. I think this is a total hamster wheel. I likely will be better off financially in the end, but he will have had more time to live his life and in a nicer home.

Not Op, but wanted to say, thank you for your honesty. I think you are right in many ways.

[Anonymous]

Not sure how many uppity folks on DCUM actually know any glass makers in Toledo.


Believe it or not, some of us came from blue collar families in towns like Toledo before our high-paying jobs in DC. Some of us even still have friends and family "back home."

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again. I grew up in PA, moved to NY when I was in high school, went to college and grad school in Boston and now live in DC (Virginia suburbs). When I was younger, I used to kind of look down at the townies who basically hung out with their same friends from high school in college and beyond. Now I sort of envy them. Their kids are friends. They live close to their families. They may not make a ton of money but they have wonderful lives.

We have a seven figure HHI, live in a beautiful home, drive fancy cars, go on expensive vacations but I am often homesick. We have lots of social outings that we go on but I don't really feel super close to anyone we have met here. I think it is just different when making friends later in life.

Same here. The people from my elementary school in small town Western PA who didn't leave the area are still close friends and their kids are now growing up together. Life just seems so much simpler. The women can afford to stay at home or work part time because the cost of living is so much lower. I guess the grass is always greener.....

It's a bit off topic, but same here. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and moved around for college, grad school, spouse's post-doc, etc, and don't live close any old friends. It's hard to make those close friendships as an adult that are made in high school and college. I have met people, but really, it can be kind of lonely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again. I grew up in PA, moved to NY when I was in high school, went to college and grad school in Boston and now live in DC (Virginia suburbs). When I was younger, I used to kind of look down at the townies who basically hung out with their same friends from high school in college and beyond. Now I sort of envy them. Their kids are friends. They live close to their families. They may not make a ton of money but they have wonderful lives.

We have a seven figure HHI, live in a beautiful home, drive fancy cars, go on expensive vacations but I am often homesick. We have lots of social outings that we go on but I don't really feel super close to anyone we have met here. I think it is just different when making friends later in life.

Same here. The people from my elementary school in small town Western PA who didn't leave the area are still close friends and their kids are now growing up together. Life just seems so much simpler. The women can afford to stay at home or work part time because the cost of living is so much lower. I guess the grass is always greener.....

It's a bit off topic, but same here. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and moved around for college, grad school, spouse's post-doc, etc, and don't live close any old friends. It's hard to make those close friendships as an adult that are made in high school and college. I have met people, but really, it can be kind of lonely.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again. I grew up in PA, moved to NY when I was in high school, went to college and grad school in Boston and now live in DC (Virginia suburbs). When I was younger, I used to kind of look down at the townies who basically hung out with their same friends from high school in college and beyond. Now I sort of envy them. Their kids are friends. They live close to their families. They may not make a ton of money but they have wonderful lives.

We have a seven figure HHI, live in a beautiful home, drive fancy cars, go on expensive vacations but I am often homesick. We have lots of social outings that we go on but I don't really feel super close to anyone we have met here. I think it is just different when making friends later in life.

Same here. The people from my elementary school in small town Western PA who didn't leave the area are still close friends and their kids are now growing up together. Life just seems so much simpler. The women can afford to stay at home or work part time because the cost of living is so much lower. I guess the grass is always greener.....

It's a bit off topic, but same here. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and moved around for college, grad school, spouse's post-doc, etc, and don't live close any old friends. It's hard to make those close friendships as an adult that are made in high school and college. I have met people, but really, it can be kind of lonely.

+ 1

Interesting perspective. I had the opposite experience, probably because I'm a first generation immigrant. We moved to a small Midwest town when I was almost in high school and I never felt like I fit in, even though I had a few good friends there. I made a ton of friends in college, with whom I'm still in regular touch, and I have a ton of good friends here in the DC area, due to common ethnic background. I'm guessing you, OP, and most of the PPs are white.

[Anonymous]

^white American I mean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some weird assumptions in this post. We don't live in DC yet we still save 100k for retirement, 45k for college, 1000 a month on kids activities, 4K on kids summer camp, 30-40k on travel. I'm not sure why you think this lifestyle is particular to DC or NY.

Uh, maybe because that describes a very high HHI? That's not the norm anywhere.

Isn't it what the OP and PPs are talking about?

No, OP is describing middle class people who live in much lower cost of living towns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again. I grew up in PA, moved to NY when I was in high school, went to college and grad school in Boston and now live in DC (Virginia suburbs). When I was younger, I used to kind of look down at the townies who basically hung out with their same friends from high school in college and beyond. Now I sort of envy them. Their kids are friends. They live close to their families. They may not make a ton of money but they have wonderful lives.

We have a seven figure HHI, live in a beautiful home, drive fancy cars, go on expensive vacations but I am often homesick. We have lots of social outings that we go on but I don't really feel super close to anyone we have met here. I think it is just different when making friends later in life.

Same here. The people from my elementary school in small town Western PA who didn't leave the area are still close friends and their kids are now growing up together. Life just seems so much simpler. The women can afford to stay at home or work part time because the cost of living is so much lower. I guess the grass is always greener.....

It's a bit off topic, but same here. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and moved around for college, grad school, spouse's post-doc, etc, and don't live close any old friends. It's hard to make those close friendships as an adult that are made in high school and college. I have met people, but really, it can be kind of lonely.

+ 1

Interesting perspective. I had the opposite experience, probably because I'm a first generation immigrant. We moved to a small Midwest town when I was almost in high school and I never felt like I fit in, even though I had a few good friends there. I made a ton of friends in college, with whom I'm still in regular touch, and I have a ton of good friends here in the DC area, due to common ethnic background. I'm guessing you, OP, and most of the PPs are white.

Not OP, but PP here. Yes, I'm American. Yours is an interesting perspective as well. Perhaps your common ethnic background is enough to bind you close together. Just as an example, I randomly met someone with whom I had a ton in common (neither of us from this area, but both of us from a similar area of the country) and thought we might become close. But she has a very, very tight group of friends who all went to law school together (that is, they travel internationally together, spend a lot of weekends together, visit each other's families on holidays, etc). I was just never able to really break into the group. And that's totally fine, of course. Just an example of how it's easier to make friends in a setting like college or grad school, and harder after, especially when others already have their primary friends group.

Anyway, sorry to hijack your thread OP.

[Anonymous]

Nitpicky, but Bellevue, WA, is a very affluent place. I've never seen so many luxury cars in one place before I realized that it's tech money. Hardly same category as Albany.

We don't save as much as some on these boards, but enough to be comfortable while at the same time not working ourselves to the bone. If I can't work and still spend time with my family, see friends, exercise, etc., it's not worth it.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how a family lives in Bethesda on 120k/year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some weird assumptions in this post. We don't live in DC yet we still save 100k for retirement, 45k for college, 1000 a month on kids activities, 4K on kids summer camp, 30-40k on travel. I'm not sure why you think this lifestyle is particular to DC or NY.

Uh, maybe because that describes a very high HHI? That's not the norm anywhere.

Isn't it what the OP and PPs are talking about?

No, OP is describing middle class people who live in much lower cost of living towns.

She mentioned herself - saving enough for investments to spit off 250k a year in interest for 30 years as well as saving for college and living well - as emblematic of DC couples. I and other PPs are saying there are plenty of affluent communities around the country where this is so as well. It's not unique to some supposed ideal of DC frugality at all.