Would you give your only sibling a kidney?
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Anonymous
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First off let me say that I am estranged from my sister. She was mentally ill for about0 25 years. She is better now. She has been a bully to me all my life and pretty mean to me. I have few good memories of her. She became mentally ill at age 20, I am a year younger.
We are both closer to 60 than 50, yet I have a child in elementary school. I do not feel guilty to not offering her a kidney. I became estranged from her last year when I read her self published book which disses me and my parents. Would you give a kidney to your close relative whom you do not like and has treated you badly your whole life? |
Anonymous
| No |
Anonymous
| I'm estranged from one of my 3 siblings (have a great relationship with the other two and would donate in a hearbeat). I would donate a kidney to my brother for the sake of his kids - no question. If he did not have kids, I honestly don't know what I'd do. |
Anonymous
| No, I would not. |
Anonymous
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No. My sister also struggles with mental illness and while she's not consistently mean to me, she's exhausting and refuses help.
For my best friend, the one I've known since before I had a sister? Damn right I would. |
Anonymous
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My younger sister has bipolar disorder. Sometimes we go for months without talking. I wouldn't call it estrangement but we definitely need long breaks. Loooong breaks. She has done some pretty despicable things IMO. I think the worst of it is due to her mental illness. I wouldn't condemn her to death due to her being mentally ill. I just don't think I'd be able to live with myself.
Is this a real situation or a hypothetical? |
Anonymous
This is a real situation. She is no longer mentally ill, has no kids, not married. We have never been friends and I could never understand how she could treat her family (my parents as well) so mean, yet have friends she was kind to. The whole situation makes me feel like this is in a book. |
Anonymous
| Not in this situation. I woukd give it to my brother with whom we have a warm, though a bit distant, relationship. |
Anonymous
| In your case, no. |
Anonymous
| How can she no longer be mentally ill? |
Anonymous
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Forget it, no way.
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Anonymous
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I have a 9 year old. I need to stay alive until he's at least 18. Preferably through college. What are the risk factors for donating a kidney? What are the inherited risks, if any, that you may also suffer kidney failure of some sort like your sister? I would pick safety and security for my child over my estranged sibling (and I have one).
If I had no kids, I'd more likely donate. |
Anonymous
| Not in the situation you describe. |
Anonymous
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In order to donate a kidney, you must go through extensive medical and psychological review. In other words, a social worker will explain the emotional aspects of donation for YOU and will assess whether this is a good thing for YOU to do. You also need to be a really close match medically, which is more rare than frequent, with siblings and other relatives. Your kidney needs to match with hers on several markets, not just a couple. If you get going down this road, and decide NOT to donate during the testing phase, after you gather information, your sister will be told you are not a match. Case closed. Do not agonize over this at this stage because it is entirely possible you are not a match for donation anyway.
--- signed, Someone who is from a family with two kidney recipients |
Anonymous
| Pp here. Several "markers" not "markets." |